World Elephant Day -- August 12
9Yes, today is World Elephant Day!
Why should elephants get a day of their own? Well, besides simply being awesome, they are “endangered” (African elephants) or “vulnerable” Asian elephants. World Elephant Day raises awareness of their plight.
How to honor elephants on World Elephant Day:
– In light of their threatened status, DO NOT kill any elephants today. Not a single one. Pinkie swear.
– Be kind to any elephant you encounter on the street, at the mall, etc. (What, you never saw an elephant at the mall? What do YOU know? When is the last time you went to a mall?)
–Watch the live-action “Dumbo” on Disney+. With more than one person watching (with the appropriate social distancing of course), it’s worth the $6.99 even if that’s all you watch. Eva Green riding a flying elephant? I’m in!
–For some reason, elephants were often the subject of silly, clean jokes from a time when you were less wrinkled and cynical. Here’s one; maybe you can post some others here:
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: (they will say NO). Works, doesn’t it?!
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OWLS! TOWELS! JOWLS! AWESOME!
Did they ever find out what was causing the elephant apocalypse in Botswana earlier this summer? I never did hear the test results but hundreds were dying because of some neurological condition.
Anyhow. Here’s to you Botswanan elephants. I hope you all survive whatever is going on.
Garbage Brain University has a podcast episode about elephants! You can learn about how long it takes an elephant (and virtually all other mammals) to pee! Also, you can hear Natalie Dee laugh and laugh and laugh. Highly recommended.
https://www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/p/gbu-78-deal-with-it-dum-dum
(Especially for fans of Toothpaste for Dinner and Married to the Sea.)
Now you’ve done it. I have to tell it.
How many elephants fit in a Volkswagen?
Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
How can you tell if there’s an elephant in the fridge?
The door won’t close.
How can you tell if there’s two elephants in the fridge?
There’s footprints in the butter.
How can you tell if there’s three elephants in the fridge?
The cheesecake is gone.
How can you tell if there’s four elephants in the fridge?
There’s a Volkswagen in the driveway.
How can you tell if an elephant took a dump in your pantry?
Your coffee tastes like crap.