A certain someone dodged the bullet in December 2015 and again in December 2016 and is well on her way to flying under the radar again for 2017, she is by far the most deserving Mehtizen!
She’s a mehmber of the community who is near and dear to the hearts of so many of us. Kind and caring to all and self sacrificing to the point that despite having fulfilled her own obligations to the Meh. exChange she volunteered to send @ELUNOa box in place of the one he never got from the person who was assigned to him! She even volunteered one of her own jimmies-covered Meh 2nd Birthday t-shirts for me to send to @mfladd had Meh support not been able to supply one.
I am, of course, referring to @mikibell, your candidate and mine for scapegoat for February 2016. If I sat here longer I’m sure I could come up with many other examples because she’s just that awesome but I don’t think anybody here needs my help.
@jbartus@mikibell is a most excellent choice for goat, but maybe not this month. Life happens and she truly may not be able to serve. Please let her decide if she can or not.
February is the bestest month to be goat. Some of our most memorable goats have served in February. I hope she will be able to continue this honorable tradition.
@mikibell If you weren’t a shining example of our community, I wouldn’t have nominated you. You could always nominate someone else who you feel is qualifed.
@mfladd way way way back when… I had friends in class that decided that we would have egg related nick names… I didn’t want an egg name, so I said we should do breakfast themed names. They still mostly went with egg names, scrambled, cracked, I don’t remember what other one, but I decided on toasted, as in toasted bread. I didn’t realize people would assume I was a stoner with such a name.
The name didn’t stick around long, or at all, but I ended up finding an Airwalk t-shirt with toast on it a while later and bought it just because of that. I loved that shirt.
I starred @jbartus nomination for @mikibell…my vote is conditional on her actually wanting to be the goat. I know she’ll be an excellent goat, if she so chooses to and is voted in. With so many great members who haven’t been goate, why nominate someone who has already been one? This is a legitimate question.
@mehbee since when is being voted goat dependent on the person’s wanting to be goat? Also, @mikibell has never been goat unless she was elected under a nom de guerre.
@jbartus I do know that there is a real possibility that she may not be able to serve in February. You will just have to take her word if this happens. There is always another month to hang this on her.
@Barney Thank you for the caring… To all, I do have a challenging month medically. I will not be avail on 2/9 or 2/19 and 2/20. Then, I am away for training 2/21-2/24 - I don’t know what amount of connectivity I will have.
Also, isn’t there a requirement that a goat know how to be paged? I don’t have notifications on and my meh mail goes to my generic mailbox with over 99k unread emails.
Don’t you all want a goat to blame for the outcome of the Super Bowl? Unless my daughter forces us to watch it again this year, it will not be on in our abode.
@mikibell
I vote that we continue to blame @jbartus for all football and NFL matters thru the Monday after the SuperBowl.
The new Goat would receive all other blame.
If @jbartis refuses to accept said blame, he’s a wimp and he’s pretty lame for a Pats fan. A true Pats fan would have real soul and would accept football-related blame for a few extra days.
If you are doing medical stuff in Feb it would seem not to be a month to make you goat? Combining “Goat” with “feeling bad” is not the best combo ever.
@f00l@jbartus was planning to volunteer for Super Bowl Blame contingent upon your acceptance that he is thereby entitled to brag shamelessly and to excess should the Patriots win.
@f00l And @Shrdlu and you starring don’t count since both of you have the goal to star everything on the internet to win the altruism record on meh.Just sayin’
@Kidsandliz
Only what the mods say counts. No idea what they say.
And we all know you have zero altruism. Helping idiot college kids learn stuff. Taking kids to the wilderness. Working in the worst places. Adopting a child. Learning to play gorgeous music for entire campuses. Saving sailing vessels from short crew conditions and short beer conditions.
Selfish selfish selfish. And you dare reproach me.
Kidsandliz: Well, I do want to point out that I (mostly) honor the goat nomination threads. I’ve voted for TWO candidates, and been very careful to not vote for any other threads. I admit to voting for lots of things, but it’s often just to keep my place. I do NOT vote for comments I consider mean, or otherwise unworthy. I also don’t bother reading a lot of threads (sports is boring).
I do gently point out that since my profile’s not visible, no one would think that I gave a tinker’s dam about altruism (or any other score, for that matter). I don’t. As anyone focused on such things would know, I also plus my own posts. In some rare cases, they’ve got a star before I managed to do it myself (and those are folks with very fast reflexes).
I’m old. I’m not going to change now. What the heck, I used to vote up lots of posts over on Deals. Here isn’t any different.
You let @shrdlu out of that book this second. I mean it. If you don’t let her out, your little dog goes right back onto my hit list.
Is that book you’re forcing her to be in while you are forcing her to “count” for your entertainment even big and roomy and comfy and nice with windows? Or is it all dark and musty?
@shrdlu may count - or not count -when and where she pleases.
@shrdlu may be in - or not in - any given book, not just one of yours.
That is, if @shrdlu hasn’t already used metaphysical tricks to cease counting and escape. Have you checked recently to see if she is even still inside that book and still counting?
Was she even even “counting in your book” in the first place, or was it all an illusion she tricked you with?
Honestly. I know @shrdlu is good at counting, but I’m sure, if you try, you can do this counting for yourself.
No need to be locking her inside one of your books and trying to order her to do it for you.
@Shrdlu Hey I was just giving the two of you grief in a kidding way… no harm meant. Your altruism score has to be really high though since you star so many posts. : )
@CaptAmehrican he’s my nominee for March provided @mikibell is February but I’m not opposed to flip flopping them should it be decided by vox populi that @mikibell is unable to serve this month.
I’ve decided you need to post the entire film here, snippet by snippet, 2-3 min each. A project!
I remember one scene in particularly vivid detail. I think you’ll know the one. He’s in a sort of clinic, and he’s wandering around without permission, and he kinda opens a door …
@f00l sorry…had to cheer 1st kid on as she gave a speech to the entire congregation, now trying to make second child look like a superstar by fixing 3d printer…never a dull moment! Will dream up bribe later…
@f00l Except for the monsters, I don’t have any pets. I don’t even have any plants to worry about!
Bribe…hmmm custom embroidered item? Homemade raspberry shortbread? Ummm I have been dying to try the cutting machine to make iron-ons for t-shirts? Outa creative thoughts at the moment. Think I am going to take a nap…
May we assume that you understand the meaning of “privately held”?
And do you understand that watching you try to escape Goatdom is so much fun that the @snapster and all the Mediocre staff just might decide that having you as Feb 2017 Goat is so much fun that it’s worth risking the company’s health over?
So… You know it backwards and forwards. And if I were to come to you while you were sleeping (ignoring the creepiness factor), splash water on you and ask you questions about it, I’m assuming that after punching me in the face and calling the police, you’d answer them correctly.
@lisaviolet
Well, it did get better for me. For the first week I was thoroughly freaked out.
And then I started posting poetry (good etc for, written by masters, not by me) into my personal blame thread, and (with suggestions and encouragements from @OldCatLady and @Kidsandliz), posting my blame acknowledgements and apologies in Haiku.
And everything got better. Kinda got the hang of it.
@f00l I did NOT encourage. I told you to accept the haiku challenge because that would shorten your posts by trees and trees and trees. Oh wait. This is online. No trees involved. Well it would mean my laptop battery would have died slower because what you posted could be read in a jiffy and not take 30 minutes.
@narfcake this is on phone text…monster one sent that to me…she has a samsung, I have an LG and haven’t accepted the upgrade (pending for months, so that could be the issue)
make sure you have the cool phone for yourself first. And make sure those kids earn any seriously cool phone they may get their graspy little hands on.
@f00l I like my phone better… I could have gotten a samsung when I broke my last LG. I will get the smaller LG next time, but I am happy with them overall…
@mikibell graciously bribed me.
The rest of you contestants didn’t.
So I voted for everyone but @mikibell, who may win anyway. Except that I had to retract my vote for @DrunkCat who wishes to be Goat (self-nominated), but selfishly refuses to bribe me to vote for that option.
Let this be a lesson to all of you for next month.
@ELUNO
Bribes have to be specific offers. They have to be timely. They have to be appealing to the potentially bribed individual.
There is an etiquette to offering a bribe. Perhaps you had better consult with Miss Manners before next time, so that you can handle this sort of personal challenge properly.
@jbartus I did not beg off…I was ready to face the inevitable because I knew you would just keep nominating me . I was setting expectations that I will be unavailable at some times, beyond my control.
@ELUNO hehehe no tampering… although you could argue there are two nominations for me, and they should be added together (then I would HAVE to vote for you!!)
@mikibell The argument you should be using is that the one nominating you for February 2016 should be null and voided because meh hasn’t sold a time machine yet.
@mikibell Because populus isn’t an English word. Popular vote would be the spell check safe term.
But you can vote for yourself! You can still totally win this!
@ELUNO I don’t vote for goat… I think I did once by accident because someone made me laugh out loud with the nomination … primarily so no one can say, “But you voted for me, so payback is golden” … or such.
Don’t put too much effort into the thinking, but do take a long time. Even if you barely do any thinking at all, it can be tiring.
You will surely need many breaks and naps, and perhaps some nail-painting and head-banger music, and possibly even some alcohol consumption along the way.
Perhaps take 28 days before you change your vote? You don’t wanna rush things and act in haste.
@carl669 Hurray… no diaper though… and I guess I took the stove as the fridge… it is the color of his pants that reminded me of the pull ups my son had…
So because @ELUNO was being a jerk about my duties having been fulfilled and completed in a bid to reduce the number of days of blame for which he is responsible (I had 31, buddy!) I have decided to shift my vote to him.
Furthermore, if it’s at all possible, consider my nomination of @mikibell for February rescinded as well. See you for March nominations, @mikibell! This time I’ll get the year right.
@jbartus I feel responsible for @mikibell possibly losing this election. If I hadn’t of opened my big mouth, she would have won huggggeee. She would make a most excellent February goat. No offense to you @ELUNO. I think you are cute.
@RiotDemon That is actually true for a lot of candy and junk food from my youth… either they changed the product or as a kid if it was forbidden it automatically tasted better…
A certain someone dodged the bullet in December 2015 and again in December 2016 and is well on her way to flying under the radar again for 2017, she is by far the most deserving Mehtizen!
She’s a mehmber of the community who is near and dear to the hearts of so many of us. Kind and caring to all and self sacrificing to the point that despite having fulfilled her own obligations to the Meh. exChange she volunteered to send @ELUNO a box in place of the one he never got from the person who was assigned to him! She even volunteered one of her own jimmies-covered Meh 2nd Birthday t-shirts for me to send to @mfladd had Meh support not been able to supply one.
I am, of course, referring to @mikibell, your candidate and mine for scapegoat for February 2016. If I sat here longer I’m sure I could come up with many other examples because she’s just that awesome but I don’t think anybody here needs my help.
@jbartus Burn that witch!
And she did send me another Jimmie meh shirt too!
@mfladd did she really? Do you wear that one or is it your kids’ too?
@jbartus That one was stolen by my family also
@mfladd I seem to recall alternative facts for why you’re not wearing it yourself…
@jbartus You people and digging up old threads. I can’t even remember what I posted yesterday.
@jbartus not goatlady?
@eeterrific eh?
@jbartus @mikibell is a most excellent choice for goat, but maybe not this month. Life happens and she truly may not be able to serve. Please let her decide if she can or not.
I hope she will be able to continue this honorable tradition.
February is the bestest month to be goat. Some of our most memorable goats have served in February.
@Barney
This is not a nomination post.
Possibly alts: @kidsandliz who has escaped a few times and therefore thinks she’s immune. @ELUNO, tho not posting much lately?
Please, people, if @mikibell honestly can’t do it, nominate those above or someone else who looks tempting.
Wait a min. @ELUNO is around. Voted for @RiotDemon for Goat. Therefore, @ELUNO is fair game for a nomination.
@Barney
@mfladd I resemble that remark/gif!
Et tu @mrspavlov, @thumperchick, @dashcloud, @janaS (don’t think I have done anything evil to you?) don’t you all have someone better to nominate?
@f00l thank you for NOT voting for me
@mikibell
Not Yet.
@mikibell If you weren’t a shining example of our community, I wouldn’t have nominated you. You could always nominate someone else who you feel is qualifed.
@f00l
What @dashcloud says is true.
I think you could get a bye using legit medical issues. But you can always nominate someone else and bomb us with reasons to vote for them.
@mikibell but you’re so sweet. You will make the perfect Valentine’s Goat!
@f00l
I was never here!
@ELUNO
We saw.
You can run but you can’t hide.
/giphy hiding
@Thumperchick IRL I am not sweet at all…it is easy to be sweet in an anonymous venue like this…
@mikibell
So perhaps you could show us you inner “Mean Goat”.
@riotdemon because I like her and she’s having a horrible week.
@sammydog01 Yep, @RiotDemon should be goat. If not this month, maybe in March?
@sammydog01 If @mikibell opts out this month. @riotdemon is certainly toast. And, rightly deserves to be toast.
@mfladd way way way back when… I had friends in class that decided that we would have egg related nick names… I didn’t want an egg name, so I said we should do breakfast themed names. They still mostly went with egg names, scrambled, cracked, I don’t remember what other one, but I decided on toasted, as in toasted bread. I didn’t realize people would assume I was a stoner with such a name.
The name didn’t stick around long, or at all, but I ended up finding an Airwalk t-shirt with toast on it a while later and bought it just because of that. I loved that shirt.
@mfladd I never thought I would be disturbed by toast.
@RiotDemon
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/toasty-6
@RiotDemon
Hello Rio T Demon
AKA Rashmon
AKA Stabby McToasty
Now go watch some Kurosawa films.
@nardcake
About time someone stepped up. I was wondering if I should create a thread. Having been goated, I feel a certain responsibility.
So thx.
@f00l you misspelled @narfcake and it is unclear if you are trying to goat @narfcake or not. Is this a nomination?
@jbartus He was already a goat. Like in 1976, or something.
@jbartus
I missssspppeeelll eevvvverythinggg.
It’s a signature muve. .
I was not nomimating @narfcake. I was attempting to thank him for creating this nomimashun thread.
My apologies for any Confucius caused by my speeelling insufficiencies and nutcase tendemcies.
And you are still a Pats sycophant.
@mfladd no matter how many times you insist that it isn’t kosher there isn’t actually a rule against regoating.
@f00l What @mfladd said.
(All bets are off if @snapster finally sells a catshirt here, however.)
@jbartus
There is certainly at least an informal tradition against re-goating widely agreed upon and honored by the voting participants.
And you are still a Pats sycophant.
@narfcake
Wasn’t nominating you. Was thanking you.
Am always thanking you.
Pls keep cats and cat-shirts always before us as inspiration that we can always learn from our betters!
@f00l Guilty as charged. Still doesn’t make it a rule!
@jbartus
And you are still a Pats sycophant.
@f00l this is getting cyclic.
@snapster for killing off VMP to n00bs
@thismyusername
So far @snapster has not been sporting about being nominated.
@f00l that because he’s a wimp I hear
@mfladd
Or a businessman.
@f00l suckup
@mfladd
It’s that Texas Air. What if Texas suddenly runs out? In that case I’ll need s backup supply.
February 2017 goat should definitely be @mikibell. I don’t know why all you people are talking about February 2016.
@OldCatLady woops good catch
@OldCatLady way to close that loophole! @jbartus should not have wholesale copied his nomination from last month
Edit: should definitely NOT be @mikibell. Keep her in reserve for a future month.
@mikibell I think the error was purely fabricated this month actually.
I starred @jbartus nomination for @mikibell…my vote is conditional on her actually wanting to be the goat. I know she’ll be an excellent goat, if she so chooses to and is voted in. With so many great members who haven’t been goate, why nominate someone who has already been one? This is a legitimate question.
@mehbee since when is being voted goat dependent on the person’s wanting to be goat? Also, @mikibell has never been goat unless she was elected under a nom de guerre.
@jbartus In the past, if a nominee was unable to serve, another goat was elected instead. That’s how @JonT escaped goatdom.
@narfcake how do you determine ability to serve?
@jbartus I do know that there is a real possibility that she may not be able to serve in February. You will just have to take her word if this happens. There is always another month to hang this on her.
@Barney Thank you for the caring… To all, I do have a challenging month medically. I will not be avail on 2/9 or 2/19 and 2/20. Then, I am away for training 2/21-2/24 - I don’t know what amount of connectivity I will have.
Also, isn’t there a requirement that a goat know how to be paged? I don’t have notifications on and my meh mail goes to my generic mailbox with over 99k unread emails.
Don’t you all want a goat to blame for the outcome of the Super Bowl? Unless my daughter forces us to watch it again this year, it will not be on in our abode.
@mikibell
I vote that we continue to blame @jbartus for all football and NFL matters thru the Monday after the SuperBowl.
The new Goat would receive all other blame.
If @jbartis refuses to accept said blame, he’s a wimp and he’s pretty lame for a Pats fan. A true Pats fan would have real soul and would accept football-related blame for a few extra days.
If you are doing medical stuff in Feb it would seem not to be a month to make you goat? Combining “Goat” with “feeling bad” is not the best combo ever.
@mikibell Don’t worry about notifications- if you’re elected, @shawn will take care of that
.
@dashcloud
I ignored the notifications. Ignoring email is a long tradition for me.
So @mikibell or whoever is goat can just stay on Meh trolling their profile for new mentions.
@mikibell Given that @iGnOrAnT took his whole month off, I wouldn’t fret the few days.
@mikibell You’d do a better job in a longer month anyway. My vote is rescinded. BTW, I set up a separate ‘meh’ mail folder.
@narfcake
@ignorant could be re-goated and I would not be too upset.
@f00l yeah he could be, but I’d be willing to bet the circuit breaker would trip again
@Ignorant
Well you’re just so much fun and up for things!
Or are you still super bizzy?
@f00l In our house, busy is sometimes spelled L-A-Z-Y.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@compunaut @f00l
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/highly-efficient
@f00l yes.
@Ignorant
@f00l @jbartus was planning to volunteer for Super Bowl Blame contingent upon your acceptance that he is thereby entitled to brag shamelessly and to excess should the Patriots win.
@narfcake Actually @jont showed up on another thread on Wednesday… perhaps his day is finally due?
@Kidsandliz
I think with @JonT we need to make sure he’s able to stick around and do the job? A token appearance is not enough.
Now you … you could make a very nice Goat.
@jbartus
I have no prob with you bragging about the Pats, should they win, until your vocal chords and fingers get sick of it and decide to fall off
I cannot speak for others.
And I suppose you know that just makes you a huge target right?
@f00l no one agrees with you. no stars.
@Kidsandliz
Just prepping.
@f00l And @Shrdlu and you starring don’t count since both of you have the goal to star everything on the internet to win the altruism record on meh.Just sayin’
@Kidsandliz
Only what the mods say counts. No idea what they say.
And we all know you have zero altruism. Helping idiot college kids learn stuff. Taking kids to the wilderness. Working in the worst places. Adopting a child. Learning to play gorgeous music for entire campuses. Saving sailing vessels from short crew conditions and short beer conditions.
Selfish selfish selfish. And you dare reproach me.
PS
Still prepping.
Kidsandliz: Well, I do want to point out that I (mostly) honor the goat nomination threads. I’ve voted for TWO candidates, and been very careful to not vote for any other threads. I admit to voting for lots of things, but it’s often just to keep my place. I do NOT vote for comments I consider mean, or otherwise unworthy. I also don’t bother reading a lot of threads (sports is boring).
I do gently point out that since my profile’s not visible, no one would think that I gave a tinker’s dam about altruism (or any other score, for that matter). I don’t. As anyone focused on such things would know, I also plus my own posts. In some rare cases, they’ve got a star before I managed to do it myself (and those are folks with very fast reflexes).
I’m old. I’m not going to change now. What the heck, I used to vote up lots of posts over on Deals. Here isn’t any different.
@Shrdlu you count in my book!
@mikibell
What kind of order is that to give???!!!
And in that “Commandant” tone of voice too!
You let @shrdlu out of that book this second. I mean it. If you don’t let her out, your little dog goes right back onto my hit list.
Is that book you’re forcing her to be in while you are forcing her to “count” for your entertainment even big and roomy and comfy and nice with windows? Or is it all dark and musty?
@shrdlu may count - or not count -when and where she pleases.
@shrdlu may be in - or not in - any given book, not just one of yours.
That is, if @shrdlu hasn’t already used metaphysical tricks to cease counting and escape. Have you checked recently to see if she is even still inside that book and still counting?
Was she even even “counting in your book” in the first place, or was it all an illusion she tricked you with?
Honestly. I know @shrdlu is good at counting, but I’m sure, if you try, you can do this counting for yourself.
No need to be locking her inside one of your books and trying to order her to do it for you.
@Shrdlu my apologies, I forgot to turn off the “mom” voice, I guess… I
all the 
s you give, even if it were a vote for me as goat!
@mikibell
⭐️
⚡️
@Shrdlu Hey I was just giving the two of you grief in a kidding way… no harm meant. Your altruism score has to be really high though since you star so many posts. : )
@ELUNO for goat mainly because I promised/threatened him with goating. A little bit because February is valentines day and we could use a flirty goat.
@CaptAmehrican he’s my nominee for March provided @mikibell is February but I’m not opposed to flip flopping them should it be decided by vox populi that @mikibell is unable to serve this month.
@mikibell
@CaptAmehrican
@cranky1950
On a streak?
@f00l Sometimes karma just lines em up.
@CaptAmehrican I’ll be a tyrant goat!
My spiders will keep everyone in check!
@ELUNO You talkin bout the ones crawling up your water spout?
@cranky1950 don’t you know it’s unkind to call a man spiders itsy bitsy
@ELUNO
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/charlottes-bored
@CaptAmehrican lol!
@narfcake what a twist!
@cranky1950
I’ve decided you need to post the entire film here, snippet by snippet, 2-3 min each. A project!
I remember one scene in particularly vivid detail. I think you’ll know the one. He’s in a sort of clinic, and he’s wandering around without permission, and he kinda opens a door …
You remember that one?
@jbartus that would be a she…
@ELUNO I swear your vote count is going up
@mikibell Whaaaaat?! That’s impossible! Rigged!
@ELUNO if you keep bumping this to the top of the list, it is bound to happen…
I’m holding my incredibly stupendously valuable vote(s) until late in the day.
If anyone wishes to bribe me not to vote for them …
@f00l
Fucking cheapskate misers.
Tell you what.
I’ll get you and your little dog too.
@f00l sorry…had to cheer 1st kid on as she gave a speech to the entire congregation, now trying to make second child look like a superstar by fixing 3d printer…never a dull moment! Will dream up bribe later…
@mikibell
Your little dog might yet live.
@f00l Except for the monsters, I don’t have any pets. I don’t even have any plants to worry about!
Bribe…hmmm custom embroidered item? Homemade raspberry shortbread? Ummm I have been dying to try the cutting machine to make iron-ons for t-shirts? Outa creative thoughts at the moment. Think I am going to take a nap…
@mikibell
Shortcake
Raspberry shortcake.
Homer says better than donuts.
Embroidered and craft stuff is great too. But the shortcake kinda got to me for a second there.
Toto, that imaginary Toto, gets to live just this once.
@f00l shortbead…not shortcake, although I could make a shortcake but I envision shortcake with whipped cream and that would not travel well to TX.
I could bring @jbartus shortcake when I drive to Backbay next month…
@mikibell
shortbread, shortcake, shortstop
You had me at “raspberry”
We’re good.
@f00l
@mikibell shortcake is always welcome.
@Adios please don’t mess with my aching head…why the name change?
Come on @f00l. You know you want to vote for mikibell and remove the vote for me…
/giphy bribe
@ELUNO you snooze, you win!
@mikibell It’s not over yet!
@ELUNO admit defeat!!!
@mikibell I demand a recount, a birth certificate, a full fledged investigation for tampering and hacking, and a handicap of -5 votes for me.
@ELUNO recount: ELUNO WINS!!
You still win -5 handicap
@mikibell grrrr
:’(
@ELUNO
???(right? we are still having fun??)
@mikibell It’s way more fun to be Feb goat! You should try it!
@ELUNO
Re:
Welcome to your impending Goatdom.
It gets better.
@f00l My goatdoam means Meh’s stocks will crash. Doom waiting to happen. MVP is no longer a thing.
@ELUNO
I’m assuming @mikibell read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.
@ELUNO VMP silly, not MVP – that is a baseball acronym…
@PlacidPenguin Eons ago… I was an English Literature Major in College.
@ELUNO
Re Meh stock prices
May we assume that you understand the meaning of “privately held”?
And do you understand that watching you try to escape Goatdom is so much fun that the @snapster and all the Mediocre staff just might decide that having you as Feb 2017 Goat is so much fun that it’s worth risking the company’s health over?
@mikibell
So… You know it backwards and forwards. And if I were to come to you while you were sleeping (ignoring the creepiness factor), splash water on you and ask you questions about it, I’m assuming that after punching me in the face and calling the police, you’d answer them correctly.
@PlacidPenguin Shh don’t tell her!
@f00l Stop trying to make sense of this senseless act!
@f00l No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t get better.
@lisaviolet
Well, it did get better for me. For the first week I was thoroughly freaked out.
And then I started posting poetry (good etc for, written by masters, not by me) into my personal blame thread, and (with suggestions and encouragements from @OldCatLady and @Kidsandliz), posting my blame acknowledgements and apologies in Haiku.
And everything got better. Kinda got the hang of it.
@f00l I did NOT encourage. I told you to accept the haiku challenge because that would shorten your posts by trees and trees and trees. Oh wait. This is online. No trees involved. Well it would mean my laptop battery would have died slower because what you posted could be read in a jiffy and not take 30 minutes.
@Kidsandliz @f00l
/image Internet trees
/giphy Internet trees
@Kidsandliz
And I thought they had electricity in Mississippi.
Poor laptop. Poor battery.
Ok. So I got long-winded as Goat. Did anyway honestly expect otherwise from me?
Forget the details of the history of the whole Haiku thing.
But I was trying to offer you credit not blame. Turned out kinda fun.
@f00l I am not the goat so blame is inappropriate anyway. : ) Looks like we have the next several months sewn up with goat nominees as well.
@Kidsandliz
Prepping still.
Enjoy not being Goat. Yet.
@f00l @Kidsandliz
Hmmm… That should be fixed.
@mikibell Blame the goat. And maybe your browser.
@narfcake this is on phone text…monster one sent that to me…she has a samsung, I have an LG and haven’t accepted the upgrade (pending for months, so that could be the issue)
@mikibell
When it comes to emoticons, they’re not standardized.
Basic info is given, but OEMs decide how to implement them.
And yes, I know this doesn’t answer your question.
@mikibell
The moral of this story is:
make sure you have the cool phone for yourself first. And make sure those kids earn any seriously cool phone they may get their graspy little hands on.
@f00l I like my phone better… I could have gotten a samsung when I broke my last LG. I will get the smaller LG next time, but I am happy with them overall…
I nominate me.
@DrunkCat
Pondering …
@f00l Sure, why not.
/image drunk cat
@f00l At the very least I promise to make a thread for every day in February asking for the return of Drinking Terribly.
@DrunkCat
Thanks a solid reason to consider voting for you.
I could use some additional motivation.
Bribe?
/giphy bribe
@f00l
@mikibell graciously bribed me.
The rest of you contestants didn’t.
So I voted for everyone but @mikibell, who may win anyway. Except that I had to retract my vote for @DrunkCat who wishes to be Goat (self-nominated), but selfishly refuses to bribe me to vote for that option.
Let this be a lesson to all of you for next month.
@f00l Change the vote! Change the vote! Change the vote!
@ELUNO
Bribes have to be specific offers. They have to be timely. They have to be appealing to the potentially bribed individual.
There is an etiquette to offering a bribe. Perhaps you had better consult with Miss Manners before next time, so that you can handle this sort of personal challenge properly.
@f00l
/giphy cops arrest
@ELUNO
Cops would never arrest me. All my bribes are very polite bribes according to Miss Manners.
@f00l I have information that will lead to @mikibell arrest.
@f00l Dog cop will take a bite out of your crime!
@DrunkCat moi??? Except for speeding, I really am law abiding… I don’t like flashing lights in my mirrors.
So I’m slightly confused. Is @mikibell begging off or not?
@jbartus I currently see 12 votes for @mikibell and 13 votes for @ELUNO – which to me means “the one” is the one.
@narfcake someone changed their vote O_o
At time of posting @mikibell was ahead.
@jbartus I did not beg off…I was ready to face the inevitable because I knew you would just keep nominating me
. I was setting expectations that I will be unavailable at some times, beyond my control.
@jbartus
I know one person who retracted a vote… 
to that person…and any others…
@jbartus Vote tampering?!? RIGGED!!!
@ELUNO hehehe no tampering… although you could argue there are two nominations for me, and they should be added together
(then I would HAVE to vote for you!!)
@mikibell That TOTALLY counts! @mikibell is our new GOAT!
@ELUNO I need more coffee for this…
@ELUNO
You look like a soon-to-be-Goat to me.
I’m up for a Tyrant Goat.
@f00l talk about Goat ate my homework excuse in action!!
@ELUNO hehehe even @jbartus hasn’t voted for me as Goat… start saying your prayers goat!
@f00l You can still change your vote! It is in your hands!
@ELUNO
My bribe hasn’t arrived yet.
Hmmm.
I wonder if the bribe will be good.
I wonder if the bribe will arrive before @ELUNO’s formal Goat Coronation.
Hmmm.
Tell you what. I don’t think your bribe will get here in time, so I can’t change my vote.
But it’s very sweet of you to send it, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings.
@f00l My bribe is the best bribe. It’s huuuuuye and believe me, I know the best bribes.
@mikibell The argument you should be using is that the one nominating you for February 2016 should be null and voided because meh hasn’t sold a time machine yet.
@narfcake Another brilliant move in this game… poor @ELUNO is sunk…
@mikibell you are mixing your metaphors – sunk is in battleship, you were playing chess earlier…
@mikibell
/giphy "mixed metaphors"
@mikibell
/giphy "will it blend"
@ELUNO
I’ve heard one or two other people claim that lately, in other contexts.
And frankly, I’m skeptical
/giphy "tiny"
@f00l that lady looks like my previous boss (similar but not quite the same)… she was a sweetie…
@f00l noooooooooooooooooooo!
Face it @ELUNO you are the valentine’s goat.
@CaptAmehrican my ONE regret about not winning – missing out on being Valentine Goat
@mikibell You can still have it if you want it…
@ELUNO Ohhhh no, there isn’t an electoral college involved here, it is populus (why is spell check saying that is wrong??) vote…
@mikibell Because populus isn’t an English word. Popular vote would be the spell check safe term.
But you can vote for yourself! You can still totally win this!
@mikibell
@ELUNO
vox po·pu·li
ˌväks ˈpäpyəlī,ˌväks ˈpäpyəlē/
noun
the opinions or beliefs of the majority.
@ELUNO I don’t vote for goat… I think I did once by accident because someone made me laugh out loud with the nomination … primarily so no one can say, “But you voted for me, so payback is golden” … or such.
@mikibell
I think it’s time for you to go ahead and vote.
@ELUNO is fighting enlightenment here. Let’s be kind and help him along.
I’ll put in my own nomination for April… After all, I’m an Aries. (Sure, different animal, still has horns)
@Mikibell for March!
@RiotDemon This totally counts as an extra vote for this month!
@ELUNO Sorry Charlie, RiotDemon already voted for me in February… can’t double count (or can you???)
@ELUNO too bad buddy, as @mikibell points out, I already voted for both of you.
@ELUNO
It does not count as a Feb vote for @mikibell.
Please do consult your early readers for instructions on how to parse @RiotDemon’s remark.
BTW I am kinda impressed about how your popularity surged as January came to a close.
@RiotDemon So maybe you can unvote for me?!?
@ELUNO I’ll think about it.
@RiotDemon
Don’t put too much effort into the thinking, but do take a long time. Even if you barely do any thinking at all, it can be tiring.
You will surely need many breaks and naps, and perhaps some nail-painting and head-banger music, and possibly even some alcohol consumption along the way.
Perhaps take 28 days before you change your vote? You don’t wanna rush things and act in haste.
@f00l @RiotDemon
Tempted to start making LotR references.
@PlacidPenguin
Those are always appropriate, Precious.
@PlacidPenguin @f00l I did have second breakfast, but no lunch yet. Must take more time.
A tyrant goat is no good for anyone! Unvote for me!
@ELUNO
Please Do Not Drop Rocks On Head
Aw… ok, go ahead. I don’t wanna listen to you whining all day.
@f00l
/giphy giant boulder
@ELUNO
/giphy missed
@f00l
/giphy "direct hit"
@ELUNO
Please stop hitting yourself. It’s not good for you, long term.
People just joining this thread!
You have to click on “Show more comments” in order to see where you can vote for @mikibell !
@ELUNO for once, being above the fold may be working to my advantage
@mikibell
@ELUNO
Just face it. You won and subsequently lost.
Of course though @mikibell lost and subsequently won.
@PlacidPenguin my good ol’ pal! Here to vote for @mikibell and unvote for me?!?!
@ELUNO
Once @PlacidPenguin casts a vote, @PlacidPenguin doesn’t react it.
@ELUNO
Ugh.
*redact
I blame you for the typo.
@PlacidPenguin You can still blame @jbartus for it. And possibly tomorrow you can start blaming @mikibell
FTFY.
@narfcake Nooooooo! Narfyyyy! I’m pretty sure there is a shirt out there that explains why should vote for @mikibell and unvote for me!
@ELUNO There may be … but I’m not going through the 6,700+ designs in the shirt.woot CATalog looking for it.
@narfcake Noooooo! You do it for everything else!
@ELUNO The closest shirt I found was one designed by @Slydon and destined for you.
@mikibell … maybe this one?
I wish I knew who finally chooses goat reign…
I would then query, if I concede that @ELUNO won, is this over? Is the game done??
I am having fun just yanking @ELUNO’s chain, either way, I will enjoy February…
P.S. Not ready to put @ELUNO out of misery yet…
@mikibell It’s not over until the fat goat sings!
@ELUNO oh dear, you found my photo… should I start singing now???
@mikibell lol, only if you accept your goatness for February
@carl669 … I see what you did there…
@mikibell YES! One vote less to go!
@ELUNO yeah, welllllll… I MAY have mistreated @carl669 in the past…
@mikibell i have no idea what you’re talking about. i’m just sitting here eating a dum-dum.
@carl669
I can’t find his thank you video which is downright adorable!!!
@mikibell was this it?
@carl669 yes… he is sooo cute!!
but the bacon one is THE best!
@mikibell here ya go!
@carl669 and the vacuum incident… goodness, you need to move just a LITTTLLLEEE closer… I would be a good auntie…
@mikibell hmm… i don’t think i remember the vacuum one. what was it?
@carl669 He was in the kitchen vacuuming under the fridge… dancing… so cute. Dark fridge, red vacuum… might have been a butt in a diaper involved.
@carl669
That child is way too adorable to have any possible connection to you.
Please notice, no swearwords. We are speaking of adorable children who are too good for us.
@mikibell found it!
@f00l if you could hear some of his smart ass remarks, there’d be no doubt he’s my kid.
@carl669 Hurray… no diaper though… and I guess I took the stove as the fridge… it is the color of his pants that reminded me of the pull ups my son had…
look at those piggies!!!
@barney realllllyyyy??? I still
you…
@jbartus
to you…
@ELUNO you are done for…
@mikibell you beat me to the punch!
I was trying to decide what specifically to say.
Why green?
@jbartus green or blue is for you… purple is solely for @barney.
@mikibell Well, since we can’t bring back 2016 (and who would want to), I’d thought we’d
/giphy party like it’s 1999
Ha, the story of my life. Can’t get anything right.
@mikibell I love purple.
@Barney I like that and the second better than the first one… it was creepy…
@Barney and we love you…
@mikibell You would think that there would have been a little purple in at least one of them.
@Barney a little more blue and the 1929 could be purple???
So because @ELUNO was being a jerk about my duties having been fulfilled and completed in a bid to reduce the number of days of blame for which he is responsible (I had 31, buddy!) I have decided to shift my vote to him.
Furthermore, if it’s at all possible, consider my nomination of @mikibell for February rescinded as well. See you for March nominations, @mikibell! This time I’ll get the year right.
I would like to invite @sammydog01, @Thumperchick, @MrsPavlov, @mfladd, @cattylaq, @JanaS, @mehbee, @RiotDemon, @dashcloud, @Mehrocco_Mole, @carl669, and @Barney to join me in creating a landslide in favor of @ELUNO’s election to drive the point home.
@jbartus noooooooooooo!
/giphy backstab
@ELUNO should have thought of that before trying to saddle me with your rightful blame.
On the plus side we get to elect @mikibell again next month!
@jbartus nominate… and possibly vote for… not a foregone conclusion that I will win… third time is supposed to be the charm…
@mikibell ah, but aren’t you counting? This was the third time, next will be the fourth.
It has come to my attention that @ELUNO has defiled the Patriots logo in an attempt to curry favor with me. Burn him.
@jbartus
/giphy "patriots fail"
@jbartus yes, I am counting, that is why I think the opportunity is lost…
Oh, I wouldn’t mess with the Pats… nope, not at all… even if I am not a fan…
@mikibell Sorry I’m late to the party. You got my vote for goat.
@mikibell are you trying to convince me to switch it back? O_o
@lisaviolet I still
you too
@lisaviolet YES!
@jbartus Nope… I thoroughly respect your adoration of the Pats…
@ELUNO you are still in the lead…
@jbartus Yes, do it!
@mikibell I was referring to your insistence that I need to get you while the getting’s good.
@ELUNO quiet, the adults are speaking.
@jbartus
lalalalalalalaalalalala
@mikibell well now that’s just rude.
@jbartus that didn’t come out quite right…
@mikibell are you sure?
@jbartus yes, I am certainly sure that didn’t come out the way I meant it to…
@mikibell how was it meant to come out?
@jbartus That I was keeping quiet too…
@mikibell something more like this was what you had in mind perhaps?
@jbartus So should I change my vote to @ELUNO because of the Patriot disrespect? A gauntlet has been thrown in some way - I am just not sure which.
@mfladd
Late to the party, one-celled organism.
@mfladd yeah but the time is past now. Next election is @mikibell’s turn!
@jbartus I feel responsible for @mikibell possibly losing this election. If I hadn’t of opened my big mouth, she would have won huggggeee. She would make a most excellent February goat. No offense to you @ELUNO. I think you are cute.
@Barney so it goes. At least it made things more interesting. The election was looking wrapped up firmly before your comment.
@Barney Hooray!
@Barney regardless of it all,
@wondermeh get over here and vote for @mikibell! Stat!
@lisaviolet who else can we call in as the cavalry?
@lisaviolet sigh… with friends like you…
@mikibell what about me?
@jbartus I already
ed you…
@jbartus
I could call in mister violet, but that wouldn’t be ethical as he doesn’t read or post. Don’t know who else…
@mikibell true… I guess I didn’t connect the two.
@lisaviolet Mister Violet has his own pulse, he counts!
@jbartus I’d ask him, but he’s busy and he’d give me the old stinkeye. I hate the stinkeye.
@lisaviolet roust him for March voting in 26 days!
And it’s done.
The Fates Have Spoken.
Let the new Goat now go forth into glory.
@f00l
@ELUNO
I can’t believe I gained more votes post-election :S
@ELUNO Just to be clear…YOU WON FAIR AND SQUARE!!
@ELUNO I have also garnished more votes – but you are STILL winning!!!
@mikibell I think our links posted elsewhere have brought plenty of aftermath attention.
@mikibell @carl669
Sigh… Talk about scandalous. I blame @ELUNO
Low levels, and they just don’t look fully tempting to grab at.
@PlacidPenguin You should have purchased Chupa Chups!
@ELUNO
Don’t/can’t eat them.
@ELUNO
They don’t sell them near me, so I can’t get them (easily). As a result, I don’t eat them.
@cinoclav - I couldn’t find the pickles.
@PlacidPenguin
@PlacidPenguin https://www.amazon.com/Chupa-Chups-Lollipops-1000-box/dp/B004VS9DU0/ref=sr_1_11_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1486074170&sr=1-11&keywords=chupa+chups
@ELUNO
Oh hush.
@PlacidPenguin dum dums are never as good as I remember.
@RiotDemon That is actually true for a lot of candy and junk food from my youth… either they changed the product or as a kid if it was forbidden it automatically tasted better…
@Kidsandliz our tastes change over time, so that’s a factor too.
@Kidsandliz
There are certain foods which as a kid I couldn’t have (for various reasons). Now I’m able to though.
Unfortunately I’ll never know if how they taste now is how they always tasted.