@PlacidPenguin Nominations already? It feels like just yesterday that @f00l was elected goat. Are we sure we don’t want to make him go for a second term? It’s 8-ball endorsed!
@f00l has been a wonderful goat but there is a certain someone who dodged the bullet a year ago and then somehow managed to hide from us for the last year. She’s a mehmber of the community who is near and dear to the hearts of so many of us. Kind and caring to all and self sacrificing to the point that despite having fulfilled her own obligations to the Meh. exChange she volunteered to send @ELUNOa box in place of the one he never got from the person who was assigned to him! She even volunteered one of her own jimmies-covered Meh 2nd Birthday t-shirts for me to send to @mfladd had Meh support not been able to supply one.
I am, of course, referring to @mikibell, your candidate and mine for scapegoat for January 2016. If I sat here longer I’m sure I could come up with many other examples because she’s just that awesome but I don’t think anybody here needs my help.
@jbartus ooooooooo…that’s a good choice. Also, a good way for you to dodge a bullet again. Hmmmm…football season is coming to an end - and we did say you would be goat during football season. @mikibell may have to wait until February.
@mfladd not true, we agreed that I’d be goat when Brady came back from his suspension. The chance was missed, you’ll have to convince Goodell to come up with some bullshit reason to suspend him again!.
@jbartus i’m throwing my vote behind @mikibell. i’m still trying to get through the dumdums. i don’t see how’s it’s going to possible without putting me or the kid (or both) into a sugar coma. and the t-shirt. i mean, what kind of person send an awesome truck shirt that brings joy to a child?? i mean, look at this face:
anyone that would make a child’s face do this, deserves to be a goat!
@jbartus oh no…not for superbowl month… What I know about football would fit in a thimble!
If you notice, my friend, I haven’t blamed a goat in quite a while or voted for Goat (except by accident, when I really like a comment)… I stay out of that arena…
I even felt bad that you were going to win while you had such obligations. I don’t think it is really fair, but you conceded!
In all seriousness I won’t be around in January. I have a server deploy to finish, new offices to wire and set up, security cameras in three aircraft hangars to spec, wire, and install, a VR training simulator to install, and that’s all with the month not having even started yet. Gonna be working long long long days, and all of this is at a job site an hour’s drive away. @jbartus for absentee goat!
@PlacidPenguin I am not responsible if you choose to elect me knowing in advance that I will not be available. I’d rather have fun with it and do something creative like a goat comic or something fun with my tablet, but business comes first.
@jbartus OK so then you for Feb. Oh wait that month is short. How about March??? We could vote on that now too. Perhaps start a March goat nomination thread right now too? To make sure we get jbartus. What do others think?
@narfcake quit manipulating the 8-ball. I’ve refreshed this thread four times now and each time you’ve had a different set of answers up, most every time damning you!
I backstopped your nomination but truthfully you’re the only reason I even considered @f00l. @ELUNO is still on my list.
@jbartus I’m active at shirt.woot and I was goated after the Fukus were shipped with thrift store shirts and meh sold an AA shirt after I was taunting @snapster for a lack of shirts. Hence, shirtgoat.
(And YES! I finally tried out a feature on an app I got which besides editing a pic can upload it to imgur. In case it’s not obvious, I tried the Imgur upload feature.)
If you really wanted, though, I have a Nexus 5 sitting in a drawer doing nothing. I could always sell it to you…
Of course though, it’s 3 years old, so it’s older than your Moto E 2nd Gen, but it’s already rooted, and ready for ROMs (though I believe it’s running a Nougat ROM already anyways).
And then again, if you really had an interest in using it as your daily driver, you could root your phone…
Poor @jbartus is way too busy in January 2017 to be Goat, so he claims.
Waaaaaaa!
Feel so baaaaaad for you!
Let me see.
How about during January 2017 you simply:
Don’t watch football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t think about football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t read about football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t listen to football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t discuss football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t be aware or conscious of the existence of football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
See? Plenty of time to handle being Goat. Problem solved.
Re: Goat Voting… Just gonna sit back and watch for now.
There are several worthies. But one seems to be destined to be the Goat with the Mostest.
@f00l my family would be amused at your exaggerated notions of how much time I spend on sports in a week. By about a factor of a million. They literally accuse me of “not being interested in sports.”
Also I have zero interest in sports commentary, sports talk, or sports personalities outside of active athletes of note.
@PlacidPenguin Rooting a phone - is that where you put it in water so it grows roots and then plant it in the back yard since now it is useless as a phone?
@PlacidPenguin No to be fair we should let @jbartus off for January. We have accepted other dubious excuses like the falling shed roof, others have weaseled out due to work and they were awarded the their goat icon in a later month… We then also should have heightened expectations due to the grand promises used to further strengthen the postponement request and appropriate punishment if @jbartus then fails to deliver…
You are called to account. These are questions and explorations, not an offer. I ask on my own behalf, but you speak to us all:
If you happened to be let off as Jan 2017 Goat due to your whiny and business reasons and your pathetic excuses, do you promise promise promise to have lots more free time soon during a month that contains 31 days, and do you promise to let us all know about said month in advance so that we can start your horns growing? And soon means within 12 months at most!
Do you promise to be extra entertaining as Goat when we finally assign the horns to your wee little head? How might you fulfill the “extra-entertaining” requirement?
Who might you suggest as a Jan sub?
You nom’d @mikibell in a blatant attempt at buck-passing. There’s also @kidsandliz, @ELUNO, and who else looks ready for our consideration? I might think of some.
I recall not being ready and getting slammed with it anyway. Which only cost me a week on next-to-zero sleep due to anxiety, before I decided to just wing it. And inflict literature on people in a blatant attempt to discourage the whiners and blamers.
Yeah I coulda done a better job with a few more months notice. I must blame myself, and @placidpenguin who was ScapePenguin during my election.
So I suck. So what. Exactly why shouldn’t you suck also? It’s true that you are not the only potential worthy - just the only potential worthy who publicly tracks Brady’s stats in these forums. You do know how to be attractive and turn yourself into a front-runner.
@Kidsandliz I don’t see anything wrong with February, by 3 days before the close of the month the fun’s usually died down anyhow so missing out on 3 days isn’t really an issue from where I sit. As for you being on some people’s lists, I assure you your name has come up in some discussions.
@f00l I will promise and commit to nothing. You have chosen to knowingly try to elect me to be absentee goat, that’s your issue not mine. As for @mikibell I brought forth a legitimate nomination, if you disagree then that’s fine but there was no buck passing involved.
@f00l If I were to practice the kind of political speech you’re used to listening to it would have to consist of smearing my opponents and nobody currently nominated deserves that.
Also, why are your ears and eyes baited? Are you trying to attract some kind of rodent to come along and gouge your eyes out and chew your ears off or something?
@jbartus
Just making a point that I wasn’t waiting with baited breath.
Breathing normal.
Ok since you’re opposed to giving us a speech give us a meta-speech about why you won’t give us s speech about not giving us a speech because if you did you might just sloganeer and insult everyone.
@f00l I should certainly hope you haven’t baited your breath, wouldn’t want those rodents to start eating your internal organs too! As for a speech… fine:
“Vote for me cause I won’t be here to be goat and then I’ll have been goat and can join in with the chorus of former goats insisting that they cannot be regoated!”
All right, not bad, but you could spread the bullshit thicker. It’s a political speech, even tho a meta-speech, so bullshit is. expected. Don’t be stingy.
“Vote for me cause I won’t be here to be goat and then I’ll have been goat and can join in with the chorus of former goats insisting that they cannot be regoated! If elected I will work to ensure that everybody gets free VMP and knives and speaker docks will be replaced by refurbished smart phones, chromebooks, laptops, and other desirable consumer electronics! Any shortcomings in this department should be blamed on February’s goat.”
@PlacidPenguin the fulfillment deadline would be 11:59:59 PM on 01/31/2017 and the instant we passed said deadline it would be February goat’s problem.
@jbartus Yeah, you say three days isn’t a big thing, but when my month went on for THIRTY FOUR DAYS, because of a weekend, it was agonizing. Did I get a rebate, or extra credit? Nooooo.
You all have current votes registered for @jbartus for Jan 2017 ScapeGoat.
See thread above or this post. We encounter resistance. What, it anything, should be done here?
We all know @jbartus richly deserves to be Goat for Jan. 2017. It’s so obvious that no stated reasons are necessary.
However, @jbartus claims to by need and obligation be extremely busy for reasons of commercial necessity during that month. Forthermore, since he has warned us if this, and we have failed to tease his out of this attitude, and he has so far not been able to get us to retract our GoatVotes for him, he has made clear his intentions:
He has now changed tactics and is actively campaigning to be the Jan 2017 Goat. He intends, once elected, to refuse to honor the obligations of the office, and to ignore the entire thing. Then the month will be over, and it will all be the Feb 2017 Goat’s fault.
And he will be free to enjoy his perfidious lack of blame-taking on the grounds that he warned us, we elected him anyway, so we have it coming. And since he will already have spent a month with the Goat insignia, he will after next month be exempted from future Goating by customs and traditions.
In this circumstance, do we wish to still Goat him and wind up with a non-goat-Goat? Or find someone more willing or able to bear this heavy office in Jan 2017?
@jbartus has intimated that he will be a better goat “later on”. He had not promised this however.
Do some of you wish to reconsider your votes? Or leave as is? I as current Goat make no recommendation. I believe his resistance makes this a worthy topic.
Obviously, it
Is @f00l’s fault @jbartus is
Being contrary.
@jbartus:
To Goat Or Not To Goat?
Make ScapeGoat Great Again?
Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law.
(In this instance)
@f00l I warn you, I get told I’m making excuses. I concede and agree to be what you want, I get accused of being underhanded. How do I win?
Also I won’t refuse to honor the position, I simply don’t expect to have time. Big difference. You might recall that I have previously been steadfast in my defense of the integrity of the position of goat.
That said if you try to saddle me with the title for all of 2017 I will definitely refuse to honor the position!
@PlacidPenguin said 39 minutes ago
’…Do something…(X) is already looking for ways to become goat and not fulfill any promises. Worse than people who make them and don’t keep them.'
Now who does that remind me of? What is this, foreshadowing of the time after Jan 21?
@OldCatLady besides the fact that you decided to drag real world politics into this for no reason whatsoever, every politician is guilty of that. All of them.
@f00l my ‘campaign to be voted goat’ was simply my bowing to the inevitable as I saw it. You guys are determined to vote me goat, regardless of my time constraints, who am I to stand in the way?
Oh btw whatever we accuse you of, customary manners for you as a potential goat-candidate require that you agree with us, no matter the accusation. Just plead guilty. Everyone does.
Altho you can bitch and moan and whine a lot too if you wish.
@f00l my ‘campaign to be voted goat’ was simply my bowing to the inevitable as I saw it. You guys are determined to vote me goat, regardless of my time constraints, who am I to stand in the way?
It’s early days, re voting. Also we hoped we could jolly you along, and you’d see the sense in giving in and starting to plead guilty on principle.
I forget. What side am I on? Or is which not what? Huh? What was which? Are you a penguin? Are you sure? How can you tell?
Which way is up, now? Or is it down, then?
I wish for all to be confusing and non-linear and good-natured and sometimes funny and paradoxical and absurd. And sometimes informative and helpful. I do get a sort of intuition: If too many things can be laid out in an orderly fashion, something’s wrong.
@f00l pleads guilty to these crimes against Meh and against the Universe.
@f00l AFAIK it is traditional for goat nominees to deny the ability to serve or at least give reasons to defer. It would seem that a campaign to become goat would be antithetical to the entire concept.
Please consult the Mehcronomicon for any more detailed information, @carl669?
I did momentarily consider rescinding and reassigning my vote, but… Naaah!
To goat, or not to goat, that is the question: Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer. The posts and comments of outrageous claims, Or to take offense against a Sea of lies, And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep.
Will be working on-site at client’s today (and all days for the foreseeable really) and would much appreciate it if my phone doesn’t go off every 20 minutes with a new email notification from Meh. If you could all avoid tagging me with @ I would appreciate it greatly. @less mentions are fine!
@lisaviolet No he did not. There was one abortive attempt to make him and his lame excuse was going out of the country to work on the star wars film. Because he said he is retiring and his business should be sold in 20 days and that was some days ago, he should have scads of time on his hands I would think. LOL
I am assuming your phone won’t go off if you are addressed as @f00l just did.
If you wind up becoming Goat, as Master @Pavlov The Great recommends, and you are all that busy, and stuck at client sites all day long, perhaps change your phone’s email notification behavior?
We don’t want you falling out of the rafters while you are installing security hardware.
@f00l a previous goat changed their notification preferences and ever so helpful@shawn changed it back and locked it… likely that is not a solution. Perhaps deleting that email address, leaving the known universe and entering a black hole might work? Either that or bribery.
@PlacidPenguin We’d never do that. Really. Honest. Cross our hearts and hope to die. @lisaviolet and I might, however:
think about, contemplate, consider, review, reflect on, mull over, meditate on, muse on, deliberate about, cogitate on, dwell on, brood on, ruminate on, chew over, puzzle over, turn over in one’s mind (@shawn we need a /synonyms command).
I was referencing the settings for email notifications on $&@87#%~£]?jbartus’s phone. Such as set to vibrate, not ring.
Or, if it’s a separate email address, use a diff client app, so that he doesn’t accidentally install an orc instead of a security camera just because his phone went off.
@narfcake I don’t use Gmail and while the rest of such could probably be configured it’s really a bunch of effort. I made a request, people have been nice and honored it for the most part today, I have zero complaints.
after some careful consideration I have decided that I I’m 100% okay with being January’s goat. I still have all of the same time commitment issues as mentioned previously however inspiration has struck and I have what I think will be a really good idea for January 2017. I know you don’t need my permission to pick me or to create a thread if I am chosen but I would like to humbly request that if I’m chosen you allow me to create my own thread as I have a plan in mind that I think everybody will enjoy.
If @jbartus is needing a sonnet @jbartus had better work on that
As @f00l’s poems are quite lame
And @f00l’s not to blame
If @f00l wrote one, @jbartus would vomit.
after some careful consideration I have decided that I I’m 100% okay with being January’s goat.
Um, okay, but really not up to you. But thanks for the all granting us permission and shit. This statement of your’s above should be enough to get you goated twice.
I still have all of the same time commitment issues as mentioned previously however inspiration has struck and I have what I think will be a really good idea for January 2017.
I hope you get some balm for where it struck.
I know you don’t need my permission to pick me or to create a thread if I am chosen
Damn Skippy. Now you’re getting it.
but I would like to humbly request that if I’m chosen you allow me to create my own thread as I have a plan in mind that I think everybody will enjoy.
Gheesh. Whatev. The fuck is this, Burger King??
Fine - have it your way. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
Anyhow, I only asked to be allowed to make the thread. You guys could deny that ask but then you’d miss out on my idea which I think will be a good one for everyone here.
@f00l Right, this thread got huge, so I’ve only skimmed, but it looks like @jbartuscan be the goat for January now? So I don’t need to change anything?
@f00l
Your antics don’t confound anybody
Don’t you go getting too haughty.
Your attempts to force rhymes
Are simply word crimes
that demonstrate incompetent prosody.
@f00l incompetence is so well known
Why does poor @jbartus still moan? @f00l’s mind is so sick
Quite thick as a brick
Acceptance be the only milestone.
@f00l I have the utmost confidence in you,
Why don’t you feel that way too?
I feel sure that if you just gave it a go
You’d do far better than you know.
I think you should try, don’t you?
Weariness stops tired @f00l’s brain.
And madness @f00l cannot contain
If @f00l seeks @jbartus
He’ll just do a Fartus @f00l brain would be in so much pain!
@jbartus @f00l willl only make up a word
Cause @f00l mind and thoughts are quite blurred
It’s now New Year’s Eve
And it’s time to receive
Wine that causes @f00l’s thoughts to go slurred.
@PlacidPenguin Deal - as long as the rule is every time you blame the goat you also have to put $25 (USD, genuine, legal tender, no sneaky loopholes) into my gofundme or send it to MDA on my behalf so I can get enough of that bill paid down that they will continue to see me in 2017. It will take 168 blames to do that - 5.42 blames a day. I can handle that. Of course the bill will continue to rise as it will be a new insurance year and my premiums, deductible and out of pocket rose significantly, thus any extra blames that month will help for the future. To cover just 2017 insurance, deductible, and out of pocket for the year (co-pays never end) I need 781.21 blames. Thus the grand total of blames needed is 949.21 blames (oh I forgot - so I can live the life of luxury - plus 12.2 blames more to pay for gas to Houston, a cheap motel, parking… so I don’t have to continue to sleep in my car when I am there, I will continue to eat out of a cooler so no blames needed for food - as I am not greedy, besides food stamps pays for ice) so this comes to 30.62 blames a day (or 31.1/blames a day if you count that I have no teletransporter to get to Houston) . Hmm… hopefully then with that rule it will be a miserable, wretched, blame worthy month to get enough blames. Let the whining blaming being! HA!
@PlacidPenguin Examining this further - the goat crown is not the king crown LOL. Hmmm unfortunately no one died and made me king to make the rules… So I must retract the word “deal” and substitute “there are others who are more blameworthy and ahead of me in line. Being polite and having manners (exception - obliging @carl699 and trying to be helpful so fuck this LOL) I will not cut the line”.
@PlacidPenguin I see you starred my comment… so would you care to explain why? Oh wait… that is a yes no question. No good. Do tell why. Waiting with baited breath… and a dragon in the wings.
@f00l What or who is PM? And you do realize that at my mom’s there is only internet in the lobby so soon I will need to wander back to her apartment to do all those helpful I had kids so they could be my slave daughterly things like clean spots off the rug, fix the broken closet knob…and eat raspberry sherbet (because after all she is on a diet and if I eat it then I will remove that from temptation).
@PlacidPenguin And I still have zero votes, not even yours, so I am definitely not getting a “reader’s choice” award. You are going to ruin your reputation… You need to nominate winners… YYYUUUUUGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE winners. LOL
Actually, this is all working out with my thinking process. Whereby the nomination thread has a person ahead by a decent amount, someone who’s only a bit behind, a few others, and you.
@PlacidPenguin So you win LOL But we already knew no one would vote for me so you already knew your goal would be achieved - (a) the 3 way tight race last month, (b) done nothing goat worthy, not part of the meh popular crowd, (d) only brought up once before and that was very early on… I’d say all that means it was a no brainer I’d get no votes.
@PlacidPenguin well that’s annoying (c ) comes up as copyright when you have no space . I wonder how to prevent that from happening. But back to the point - what then is the point of this little game you are playing?
@f00l Ha! It will take more than one vote and @PlacidPenguin said the goal was to keep anyone from voting from me or talking them out of it if they did… and of course neither of us know why as we have been unsuccessful in guess and also since apparently there is a cone of silence that has been evoked…
Besides, I am here all the time in Goatly readiness to apologize and assume blame and write horrible limericks when they are required. It’s an attempt at professionalism.
@PlacidPenguin Well @snapster did bring this site to existence. And he did win the most votes twice. And has not sold any catshirts here. So yeah, perpetual blame is valid.
@RiotDemon Even death can suffer from the horrible pain of a tarantuconda poison sting. @mfladd I wouldn’t go drinking any soups for the next couple of days…
There are a bunch of free goat apps for android in the Amazon AppStore right now. I think it’s part of the Amazon Digital Week Promo but not sure.
I didn’t bother to check whether these offer in-app paid upgrades or what crap they install on your phone. They appear that have tolerable reviews, if that’s worth anything.
Wait. Already? Hmmm… Get back to me tomorrow or Tuesday.
@PlacidPenguin Nominations already? It feels like just yesterday that @f00l was elected goat. Are we sure we don’t want to make him go for a second term? It’s 8-ball endorsed!
@f00l has been a wonderful goat but there is a certain someone who dodged the bullet a year ago and then somehow managed to hide from us for the last year. She’s a mehmber of the community who is near and dear to the hearts of so many of us. Kind and caring to all and self sacrificing to the point that despite having fulfilled her own obligations to the Meh. exChange she volunteered to send @ELUNO a box in place of the one he never got from the person who was assigned to him! She even volunteered one of her own jimmies-covered Meh 2nd Birthday t-shirts for me to send to @mfladd had Meh support not been able to supply one.
I am, of course, referring to @mikibell, your candidate and mine for scapegoat for January 2016. If I sat here longer I’m sure I could come up with many other examples because she’s just that awesome but I don’t think anybody here needs my help.
@jbartus ooooooooo…that’s a good choice. Also, a good way for you to dodge a bullet again. Hmmmm…football season is coming to an end - and we did say you would be goat during football season. @mikibell may have to wait until February.
@mfladd not true, we agreed that I’d be goat when Brady came back from his suspension. The chance was missed, you’ll have to convince Goodell to come up with some bullshit reason to suspend him again!.
@jbartus i’m throwing my vote behind @mikibell. i’m still trying to get through the dumdums. i don’t see how’s it’s going to possible without putting me or the kid (or both) into a sugar coma. and the t-shirt. i mean, what kind of person send an awesome truck shirt that brings joy to a child?? i mean, look at this face:
anyone that would make a child’s face do this, deserves to be a goat!
@jbartus @carl669 @mfladd
@mikibell February. Just you wait.
@jbartus oh no…not for superbowl month… What I know about football would fit in a thimble!
If you notice, my friend, I haven’t blamed a goat in quite a while or voted for Goat (except by accident, when I really like a comment)… I stay out of that arena…
I even felt bad that you were going to win while you had such obligations. I don’t think it is really fair, but you conceded!
@carl669 And I would do it again, if I knew his address! Your boy is sooooo adorable…move closer and he would have an auntie who doted on him!
@mikibell you don’t have to know about football to be blamed for it!
@jbartus for January goat!
I don’t believe I need to give reasons.
@shruggie
Insert reason relating to the NFL here.
@shruggie for January goat!
Hiding behind a nom de deceptor!
In all seriousness I won’t be around in January. I have a server deploy to finish, new offices to wire and set up, security cameras in three aircraft hangars to spec, wire, and install, a VR training simulator to install, and that’s all with the month not having even started yet. Gonna be working long long long days, and all of this is at a job site an hour’s drive away. @jbartus for absentee goat!
@jbartus
We already had goats do that. Preferably you’ll come up with a new theme.
@PlacidPenguin I am not responsible if you choose to elect me knowing in advance that I will not be available. I’d rather have fun with it and do something creative like a goat comic or something fun with my tablet, but business comes first.
@jbartus OK so then you for Feb. Oh wait that month is short. How about March??? We could vote on that now too. Perhaps start a March goat nomination thread right now too? To make sure we get jbartus. What do others think?
@Kidsandliz you do realize that you’re on an awful lot of short lists too?
Also what’s wrong with February?
Reasons for @jbartus:
And remember, we could always “forget” to do a February nomination …
@narfcake but you nominated @f00l
@jbartus
@narfcake also nominated me. Several times.
HOWEVER,
After him comes you (in both cases). Since he can’t be goat again, that leaves you in the prime position.
@PlacidPenguin so what you’re saying is that @narfcake should be goat first.
@jbartus The 8ball denied it.
Better not tell you now
Signs point to yes
/8ball Did I nominate @f00l?
/8ball Did @jbartus nominate @f00l?
@narfcake quit manipulating the 8-ball. I’ve refreshed this thread four times now and each time you’ve had a different set of answers up, most every time damning you!
I backstopped your nomination but truthfully you’re the only reason I even considered @f00l. @ELUNO is still on my list.
@PlacidPenguin Wasn’t it only in the pre-penguin days?
@jbartus Guilty as accused. Also, no shirt, no scapegoat!
@narfcake
Wasn’t what in the pre-penguin days?
@PlacidPenguin Me nominating you.
@narfcake I’m not sure how that’s relevant.
@jbartus I’m active at shirt.woot and I was goated after the Fukus were shipped with thrift store shirts and meh sold an AA shirt after I was taunting @snapster for a lack of shirts. Hence, shirtgoat.
@narfcake I was referring to your point about the flightless one.
@jbartus Flightless?
/image flying penguin
@narfcake they’re gliding!
@jbartus
/giphy flying penguin
@narfcake he jumped…
@narfcake @jbartus
How about I fly us out to New Zealand and we could look at them in person?
Unless, y’all would rather go to Antarctica to watch Emperor Penguins…
@jbartus Penguins can fly.
/image shirt.woot not what I meant
@PlacidPenguin Kiwi birds fly too, right?
/image shirt.woot I want to fly
@narfcake
Penguin conspiracy confirmed!
(And YES! I finally tried out a feature on an app I got which besides editing a pic can upload it to imgur. In case it’s not obvious, I tried the Imgur upload feature.)
@PlacidPenguin What are apps?
@narfcake
You have a Moto E 2nd Gen…
@PlacidPenguin True. But I don’t have it on me. I basically just use it like a mini tablet at home. And I’m not home.
The camera quality (or lack thereof) is a big holdback from it seeing daily use.
I also don’t think it’ll ever see Marshmallow either.
@narfcake
It won’t. Just checked software update site for Motorola USA.
@PlacidPenguin Yeah, figures. Lenovo did release it for the Indian market, but not the US.
Then again, I’m using a phone with a practically dead OS.
@narfcake
When did you switch to BlackBerry?
If you really wanted, though, I have a Nexus 5 sitting in a drawer doing nothing. I could always sell it to you…
Of course though, it’s 3 years old, so it’s older than your Moto E 2nd Gen, but it’s already rooted, and ready for ROMs (though I believe it’s running a Nougat ROM already anyways).
And then again, if you really had an interest in using it as your daily driver, you could root your phone…
Actually, doing the math, Windows has a larger market share than BlackBerry.
@jbartus
Poor @jbartus is way too busy in January 2017 to be Goat, so he claims.
Waaaaaaa!
Feel so baaaaaad for you!
Let me see.
How about during January 2017 you simply:
Don’t watch football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t think about football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t read about football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t listen to football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t discuss football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
Don’t be aware or conscious of the existence of football or other sports or sports news or sports commentary or sports talk or anything about sports personalities or their families.
See? Plenty of time to handle being Goat. Problem solved.
Re: Goat Voting… Just gonna sit back and watch for now.
There are several worthies. But one seems to be destined to be the Goat with the Mostest.
@f00l my family would be amused at your exaggerated notions of how much time I spend on sports in a week. By about a factor of a million. They literally accuse me of “not being interested in sports.”
Also I have zero interest in sports commentary, sports talk, or sports personalities outside of active athletes of note.
@jbartus
Just give up any activities on that list that you might have a penchant (or a penguin) for committing.
Voila! So much free time.
Goat Express!
@f00l with the workload I’ve got coming up they’ve all been removed.
@jbartus
Thou dotheth protesteth too fucking mucheth.
@f00l honesty is a virtue.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Elect me to absentee goat, it’s fine.
@jbartus
Even if you’re only here part of the time fulfilling your duties, that’s still better than some other goats (and a penguin).
@PlacidPenguin did I mention I’m a snek?
@jbartus
Not sure what that is.
OK, so I just Googled it. Never seen you say that that’s what you are.
Although that should give you an idea or two for a theme for your goathood whether it’s January 2017 or later.
@jbartus What is wrong with Feb? 28 days. That is what is wrong. You need 31.
And as far as short lists… None that I have seen unless you count the short list of those who can wear short
sin the winter due to the weather…@Kidsandliz @narfcake
Even 31 won’t be enough. Though I suppose we could try making it work.
@PlacidPenguin We just need to “forget” the February nomination thread. Technically, he’ll still be at one-term goat.
@PlacidPenguin Rooting a phone - is that where you put it in water so it grows roots and then plant it in the back yard since now it is useless as a phone?
@Kidsandliz
Just what one needs: a tree/bush which gives useless phones.
@PlacidPenguin No to be fair we should let @jbartus off for January. We have accepted other dubious excuses like the falling shed roof, others have weaseled out due to work and they were awarded the their goat icon in a later month… We then also should have heightened expectations due to the grand promises used to further strengthen the postponement request and appropriate punishment if @jbartus then fails to deliver…
@Kidsandliz
And what would YOU define as an appropriate punishment?
@jbartus:
You are called to account. These are questions and explorations, not an offer. I ask on my own behalf, but you speak to us all:
If you happened to be let off as Jan 2017 Goat due to your whiny and business reasons and your pathetic excuses, do you promise promise promise to have lots more free time soon during a month that contains 31 days, and do you promise to let us all know about said month in advance so that we can start your horns growing? And soon means within 12 months at most!
Do you promise to be extra entertaining as Goat when we finally assign the horns to your wee little head? How might you fulfill the “extra-entertaining” requirement?
Who might you suggest as a Jan sub?
You nom’d @mikibell in a blatant attempt at buck-passing. There’s also @kidsandliz, @ELUNO, and who else looks ready for our consideration? I might think of some.
I recall not being ready and getting slammed with it anyway. Which only cost me a week on next-to-zero sleep due to anxiety, before I decided to just wing it. And inflict literature on people in a blatant attempt to discourage the whiners and blamers.
Yeah I coulda done a better job with a few more months notice. I must blame myself, and @placidpenguin who was ScapePenguin during my election.
So I suck. So what. Exactly why shouldn’t you suck also? It’s true that you are not the only potential worthy - just the only potential worthy who publicly tracks Brady’s stats in these forums. You do know how to be attractive and turn yourself into a front-runner.
Make your case. Why should we be merciful?
@jbartus
Oooh. Tough guy! Snek!
@PlacidPenguin lol, I was referencing my discord avatar:
@Kidsandliz I don’t see anything wrong with February, by 3 days before the close of the month the fun’s usually died down anyhow so missing out on 3 days isn’t really an issue from where I sit. As for you being on some people’s lists, I assure you your name has come up in some discussions.
@f00l I will promise and commit to nothing. You have chosen to knowingly try to elect me to be absentee goat, that’s your issue not mine. As for @mikibell I brought forth a legitimate nomination, if you disagree then that’s fine but there was no buck passing involved.
@jbartus
I don’t use Discord, so it’s not like I’d have known that,
@PlacidPenguin you were on it at one point, unless someone was pretending to be you.
@jbartus
Oh come on. Play along with us. Give us a Great and Good political speech. We’ve all had recent practice listening, so give it a shot.
Go for magnificence and grandiloquence.
We wait with baited ears and eyes.
@f00l If I were to practice the kind of political speech you’re used to listening to it would have to consist of smearing my opponents and nobody currently nominated deserves that.
@jbartus for absentee goat!
Also, why are your ears and eyes baited? Are you trying to attract some kind of rodent to come along and gouge your eyes out and chew your ears off or something?
@jbartus
Just making a point that I wasn’t waiting with baited breath.
Breathing normal.
Ok since you’re opposed to giving us a speech give us a meta-speech about why you won’t give us s speech about not giving us a speech because if you did you might just sloganeer and insult everyone.
/giphy "Infinity and beyond"
@f00l I should certainly hope you haven’t baited your breath, wouldn’t want those rodents to start eating your internal organs too! As for a speech… fine:
“Vote for me cause I won’t be here to be goat and then I’ll have been goat and can join in with the chorus of former goats insisting that they cannot be regoated!”
Was that suitable?
@jbartus
All right, not bad, but you could spread the bullshit thicker. It’s a political speech, even tho a meta-speech, so bullshit is. expected. Don’t be stingy.
@f00l okay how’s this:
“Vote for me cause I won’t be here to be goat and then I’ll have been goat and can join in with the chorus of former goats insisting that they cannot be regoated! If elected I will work to ensure that everybody gets free VMP and knives and speaker docks will be replaced by refurbished smart phones, chromebooks, laptops, and other desirable consumer electronics! Any shortcomings in this department should be blamed on February’s goat.”
@jbartus
The shortcomings would be your fault since these promises should be fulfilled in January.
@PlacidPenguin the fulfillment deadline would be 11:59:59 PM on 01/31/2017 and the instant we passed said deadline it would be February goat’s problem.
@f00l
Do something. @jbartus is already looking for ways to become goat and not fulfill any promises. Worse than people who make them and don’t keep them.
He’s implying he won’t keep them.
@PlacidPenguin guess you’d better blame @f00l for it!
@jbartus Yeah, you say three days isn’t a big thing, but when my month went on for THIRTY FOUR DAYS, because of a weekend, it was agonizing. Did I get a rebate, or extra credit? Nooooo.
@OldCatLady it only went that long because you let it! You should have started the new blame thread yourself and been done with it!
@PlacidPenguin
@RiotDemon
@mfladd
@jqubed
@narfcake
@Pavlov
@shrdlu
@lisaviolet
@MrGlass
@2many2no
@communist
@ELUNO
You all have current votes registered for @jbartus for Jan 2017 ScapeGoat.
See thread above or this post. We encounter resistance. What, it anything, should be done here?
We all know @jbartus richly deserves to be Goat for Jan. 2017. It’s so obvious that no stated reasons are necessary.
However, @jbartus claims to by need and obligation be extremely busy for reasons of commercial necessity during that month. Forthermore, since he has warned us if this, and we have failed to tease his out of this attitude, and he has so far not been able to get us to retract our GoatVotes for him, he has made clear his intentions:
He has now changed tactics and is actively campaigning to be the Jan 2017 Goat. He intends, once elected, to refuse to honor the obligations of the office, and to ignore the entire thing. Then the month will be over, and it will all be the Feb 2017 Goat’s fault.
And he will be free to enjoy his perfidious lack of blame-taking on the grounds that he warned us, we elected him anyway, so we have it coming. And since he will already have spent a month with the Goat insignia, he will after next month be exempted from future Goating by customs and traditions.
In this circumstance, do we wish to still Goat him and wind up with a non-goat-Goat? Or find someone more willing or able to bear this heavy office in Jan 2017?
@jbartus has intimated that he will be a better goat “later on”. He had not promised this however.
Do some of you wish to reconsider your votes? Or leave as is? I as current Goat make no recommendation. I believe his resistance makes this a worthy topic.
Obviously, it
Is @f00l’s fault @jbartus is
Being contrary.
@jbartus:
To Goat Or Not To Goat?
Make ScapeGoat Great Again?
Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law.
(In this instance)
@PlacidPenguin
What else needs to be covered? Was anything unclear?
I pinged everyone who had a current vote registered for @jbartus.
@f00l Skip the January part. Keep the 2017 part.
@narfcake
Too late to edit post.
Am perfectly willing to Goat @jbartus later, given this non-cooperation.
@f00l
That wasn’t what @narfcake meant. He meant that we’d only have 1 goat for 2017.
@PlacidPenguin
Ok by me. Also. Perhaps thread title needs to be edited in that case.
@f00l I warn you, I get told I’m making excuses. I concede and agree to be what you want, I get accused of being underhanded. How do I win?
Also I won’t refuse to honor the position, I simply don’t expect to have time. Big difference. You might recall that I have previously been steadfast in my defense of the integrity of the position of goat.
That said if you try to saddle me with the title for all of 2017 I will definitely refuse to honor the position!
@PlacidPenguin said 39 minutes ago
’…Do something…(X) is already looking for ways to become goat and not fulfill any promises. Worse than people who make them and don’t keep them.'
Now who does that remind me of? What is this, foreshadowing of the time after Jan 21?
@f00l Yeah, what @PlacidPenguin said.
@OldCatLady besides the fact that you decided to drag real world politics into this for no reason whatsoever, every politician is guilty of that. All of them.
@jbartus
The whole point of the Goat position is that you don’t win. When you lose, you lose. When you win, you lose-lose. Get it?
And if voted in, you, kicking and screaming and complaining and bitching and resisting, graciously accept the honor.
Your clarification was welcome.
I thought your choosing to campaign to be voted goat rather than campaigning to avoid being goat was a material change in your attitude.
Even if you’re blame-free, which I leave to the judgement of others, I’m practicing blaming you, jic. Wanna be ready for anything. Capiche?
@OldCatLady @f00l @narfcake @carl669
I know the mehchronomicon doesn’t allow a double goat, but if we don’t vote on new goats, that wouldn’t exactly be considered double goating.
As such, it would be one long reign.
What says the mehchronomicon @carl669 ?
@f00l my ‘campaign to be voted goat’ was simply my bowing to the inevitable as I saw it. You guys are determined to vote me goat, regardless of my time constraints, who am I to stand in the way?
@jbartus
Oh btw whatever we accuse you of, customary manners for you as a potential goat-candidate require that you agree with us, no matter the accusation. Just plead guilty. Everyone does.
Altho you can bitch and moan and whine a lot too if you wish.
Just sayin’.
@jbartus
It’s early days, re voting. Also we hoped we could jolly you along, and you’d see the sense in giving in and starting to plead guilty on principle.
@f00l Let’s make him an @PlacidPenguin share goathood for January.
@ELUNO @narfcake @f00l
How about we don’t, and we never speak of it again?
@f00l
Sometimes it’s hard even for me to tell which side you’re on.
@PlacidPenguin
I forget. What side am I on? Or is which not what? Huh? What was which? Are you a penguin? Are you sure? How can you tell?
Which way is up, now? Or is it down, then?
I wish for all to be confusing and non-linear and good-natured and sometimes funny and paradoxical and absurd. And sometimes informative and helpful. I do get a sort of intuition: If too many things can be laid out in an orderly fashion, something’s wrong.
@f00l pleads guilty to these crimes against Meh and against the Universe.
@f00l AFAIK it is traditional for goat nominees to deny the ability to serve or at least give reasons to defer. It would seem that a campaign to become goat would be antithetical to the entire concept.
Please consult the Mehcronomicon for any more detailed information, @carl669?
I did momentarily consider rescinding and reassigning my vote, but… Naaah!
@2many2no
Wisdom and foolishness both have their esteemed and revered places in this discussion.
I’ll assist with the non-wisdom part.
@f00l
If one is upside down, then their head is facing what would be considered the floor one way yet up the other way.
Down is up and up is down is really all quite relative. But when one turns and looks around there’s really no alternative.
To speak the truth or tell a lie is up to each person, the consequences of those words can make reality worsen.
I’m horrible at taking words and making them match up, because after all you see, I really want to write orange.
@PlacidPenguin
Right the orange on its axis.
@f00l @jbartus
To goat, or not to goat, that is the question: Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer. The posts and comments of outrageous claims, Or to take offense against a Sea of lies, And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep.
My vote stands; goat him.
All this other crap is inconsequential. We’ve had goats that have been MIA for one reason or another - hell, I’ve been one of them myself.
Just goat the guy and be done with it.
@Pavlov
Honestly, I’m not sure what the fuss is about.
If he really wants to be goat then he’ll find time.
If he doesn’t want to be goat, then he should just take it and get it over with.
@PlacidPenguin Looks to me like it is just all an argument in furtherance and favor of crowning him goat.
@PlacidPenguin
Perchance To Dream
/giphy dreams.
@all a small appeal.
Will be working on-site at client’s today (and all days for the foreseeable really) and would much appreciate it if my phone doesn’t go off every 20 minutes with a new email notification from Meh. If you could all avoid tagging me with @ I would appreciate it greatly. @less mentions are fine!
Thanks!
@f00l I was temporarily insane for a couple of months this year, did @pavlov ever fulfill his duties as goat?
Since he was physically and mentally unable during his tenure?
@lisaviolet No he did not. There was one abortive attempt to make him and his
lameexcuse was going out of the country to work on the star wars film. Because he said he is retiring and his business should be sold in 20 days and that was some days ago, he should have scads of time on his hands I would think. LOL&$#%£¥!@+[}?jbartus
I am assuming your phone won’t go off if you are addressed as @f00l just did.
If you wind up becoming Goat, as Master @Pavlov The Great recommends, and you are all that busy, and stuck at client sites all day long, perhaps change your phone’s email notification behavior?
We don’t want you falling out of the rafters while you are installing security hardware.
@Kidsandliz
@f00l a previous goat changed their notification preferences and
ever so helpful@shawn changed it back and locked it… likely that is not a solution. Perhaps deleting that email address, leaving the known universe and entering a black hole might work? Either that or bribery.@lisaviolet Are you thinking what I am thinking? It would make entering retirement memorable… just sayin’
@Kidsandliz @lisaviolet
As long as neither of you start pondering, we’re all safe.
@PlacidPenguin We’d never do that. Really. Honest. Cross our hearts and hope to die. @lisaviolet and I might, however:
think about, contemplate, consider, review, reflect on, mull over, meditate on, muse on, deliberate about, cogitate on, dwell on, brood on, ruminate on, chew over, puzzle over, turn over in one’s mind (@shawn we need a /synonyms command).
@PlacidPenguin
/youtube AYPWIP
@Kidsandliz
I was referencing the settings for email notifications on $&@87#%~£]?jbartus’s phone. Such as set to vibrate, not ring.
Or, if it’s a separate email address, use a diff client app, so that he doesn’t accidentally install an orc instead of a security camera just because his phone went off.
I assume he will still receive the emails.
@f00l I need to be available for my other clients if they call or text or email, simply muting my phone would be problematic.
@jbartus How applicable are these tips?
http://www.pcworld.com/article/2978403/phones/4-ways-to-turn-off-annoying-notifications-on-your-android-phone-or-iphone.html
I’m sure there are tips out there for the
1%0% of WP users too.(My meh notifications are filtered/tagged/skip inbox on Google’s end, so I only see them if I go to the meh subfolder.)
@narfcake I don’t use Gmail and while the rest of such could probably be configured it’s really a bunch of effort. I made a request, people have been nice and honored it for the most part today, I have zero complaints.
@narfcake - 0.4%
@jbartus I was considering it so badly.
@PlacidPenguin we round numbers less than one half down.
Do I want to know what you were considering?
@jbartus
If that’s the case, then you’re the only person who has any votes to become the next goat.
And no. You don’t. I mean, you probably do. But you’d rather not.
@PlacidPenguin votes are counted in whole numbers as integers not decimals.
@jbartus
That counting method lacks imagination.
/giphy imagination
@f00l Where is the sonnet we were promised?
@PlacidPenguin @RiotDemon @mfladd @jqubed @narfcake @Pavlov @shrdlu @lisaviolet @MrGlass @2many2no @communist @ELUNO
after some careful consideration I have decided that I I’m 100% okay with being January’s goat. I still have all of the same time commitment issues as mentioned previously however inspiration has struck and I have what I think will be a really good idea for January 2017. I know you don’t need my permission to pick me or to create a thread if I am chosen but I would like to humbly request that if I’m chosen you allow me to create my own thread as I have a plan in mind that I think everybody will enjoy.
@jbartus I’m ok with it, as long as you accept @PlacidPenguin as your sidekick goat.
@ELUNO
I’m nobody’s sidekick. Also, I’m not a goat. I’m a penguin.
@jbartus Acceptance!
@ELUNO No sidekick.
@PlacidPenguin Here’s a penguin shirt for no apparent reason:
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/first-snow-1
@narfcake nooooooooo :’(
@jbartus
You demanded and promised that @f00l would come up with a sonnet.
@f00l watched this behavior with some amusement.
If @f00l does not produce a sonnet before the end of this month, @f00l supposes the Jan 2017 ScapeGoat will be to blame for that.
@jbartus
If @jbartus is needing a sonnet
@jbartus had better work on that
As @f00l’s poems are quite lame
And @f00l’s not to blame
If @f00l wrote one, @jbartus would vomit.
@jbartus
Um, okay, but really not up to you. But thanks for the all granting us permission and shit. This statement of your’s above should be enough to get you goated twice.
I hope you get some balm for where it struck.
Damn Skippy. Now you’re getting it.
Gheesh. Whatev. The fuck is this, Burger King??
Fine - have it your way. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!
@Pavlov I wasn’t giving permission? O_o
Anyhow, I only asked to be allowed to make the thread. You guys could deny that ask but then you’d miss out on my idea which I think will be a good one for everyone here.
@jbartus I was being playfully sarcastic.
Even if someone / staff makes a thread, you can always make your own right behind it.
@Pavlov I’ve not ever seen the staff around to make the thread at midnight the day of anyhow.
@jbartus
@Pavlov
@shruggie
@Hollboll
@galmaegi
@Moose
@PlacidPenguin
@everyone
If @jbartus is selected as Jan 2017 Goat, can we have his username changed for the month so that he can’t change it back till he’s no longer Goat?
I suggest
@jbartus_Skippy
Or just
@Skippy
if people prefer simplicity.
Thoughts?
@f00l why?
@RiotDemon
Cause calling him @Skippy all month long sounds fun.
@f00l you’re really cruising to have me simply not show up at all between January 1 and February 7th.
@jbartus
As long as you’re here for January, we can bear to wait until March to continue your goathood.
@PlacidPenguin I don’t even know what that means.
@f00l That’s as much unintended tagging to poor @skippy as folks complaining about meh to @meh.
(Sorry, @skippy and @meh, but I need to make a point that it’s not all fun and games when all the blame gets misdirected.)
@jbartus
You changed your post.
You originally said you’d leave us Feb 1st to Match 7th. Then you changed it.
@jbartus
You already said you would accept. I assume your word is good?
And: The position of Goat is a learning experience. What is required of the Goat changes from each incumbent Goat to the next one.
All previous Goats would attest to this.
@narfcake I
you for #6…
@jbartus
Your uid is safe I guess. There is already a Skippy at Meh, as @narfcake pointed out.
@f00l But is there a Skippy1
@PlacidPenguin I did nothing of the sort.
@f00l maybe wait and see what I have in mind before trying to augment my duties?
@f00l by the way, sonnet and that don’t rhyme and vomit is a stretch for sonnet. Your limericks need work.
@jbartus
And I’ve never deleted posts.
@PlacidPenguin That’s like me saying “I’ve never worn a catshirt.”
/giphy Pinocchio nose
@narfcake
That’s my point.
@jbartus
Near-rhymes within limerick
Work just fine if the writer is quick
To act as the @f00l
And be way beyond cool
Tho reader’s head be ever so thick.
@f00l Right, this thread got huge, so I’ve only skimmed, but it looks like @jbartus can be the goat for January now? So I don’t need to change anything?
@f00l that isn’t even a near rhyme though
@jbartus
Fake rhymes and near rhymes confound
@jbartus’s poor addled mind
So it’s all too much fun
To keep throwing out one
Be sure to write them all down!
@jqubed
Yes. @jbartus’s resistance is ebbing away. Goat @jbartus.
@f00l
Your antics don’t confound anybody
Don’t you go getting too haughty.
Your attempts to force rhymes
Are simply word crimes
that demonstrate incompetent prosody.
@jbartus
@f00l incompetence is so well known
Why does poor @jbartus still moan?
@f00l’s mind is so sick
Quite thick as a brick
Acceptance be the only milestone.
@f00l I have the utmost confidence in you,
Why don’t you feel that way too?
I feel sure that if you just gave it a go
You’d do far better than you know.
I think you should try, don’t you?
@f00l
And I just belatedly noticed you have quit the Haiku challenge that you once embraced whole heartedly…boo hiss
@Kidsandliz
Blame is still haiku.
Limericks for @jbartus.
All apologies.
@jbartus
Weariness stops tired @f00l’s brain.
And madness @f00l cannot contain
If @f00l seeks @jbartus
He’ll just do a Fartus
@f00l brain would be in so much pain!
@f00l Well then I unblame blame you for
notworking hard to fulfill your Haiku challenge.@Kidsandliz
@f00l’s haikus are not
Great literature but thanks
For all the unblame.
@f00l making up words now?
@jbartus
@f00l willl only make up a word
Cause @f00l mind and thoughts are quite blurred
It’s now New Year’s Eve
And it’s time to receive
Wine that causes @f00l’s thoughts to go slurred.
/giphy wine
I nominate @PlacidPenguin so he can be a true goat.
@ELUNO
Wait… What???
@PlacidPenguin Yes?
I nominate @Kidsandliz.
She mixes humor into her comments often, and considering how 2016 turned out, we should start 2017 with humor.
@PlacidPenguin Deal - as long as the rule is every time you blame the goat you also have to put $25 (USD, genuine, legal tender, no sneaky loopholes) into my gofundme or send it to MDA on my behalf so I can get enough of that bill paid down that they will continue to see me in 2017. It will take 168 blames to do that - 5.42 blames a day. I can handle that. Of course the bill will continue to rise as it will be a new insurance year and my premiums, deductible and out of pocket rose significantly, thus any extra blames that month will help for the future. To cover just 2017 insurance, deductible, and out of pocket for the year (co-pays never end) I need 781.21 blames. Thus the grand total of blames needed is 949.21 blames (oh I forgot - so I can live the life of luxury - plus 12.2 blames more to pay for gas to Houston, a cheap motel, parking… so I don’t have to continue to sleep in my car when I am there, I will continue to eat out of a cooler so no blames needed for food - as I am not greedy, besides food stamps pays for ice) so this comes to 30.62 blames a day (or 31.1/blames a day if you count that I have no teletransporter to get to Houston) . Hmm… hopefully then with that rule it will be a miserable, wretched, blame worthy month to get enough blames. Let the
whiningblaming being! HA!@Kidsandliz
Uh. I don’t know if you can do that.
@PlacidPenguin Examining this further - the goat crown is not the king crown LOL. Hmmm unfortunately no one died and made me king to make the rules… So I must retract the word “deal” and substitute “there are others who are more blameworthy and ahead of me in line. Being polite and having manners (exception - obliging @carl699 and trying to be helpful so fuck this LOL) I will not cut the line”.
@PlacidPenguin HA! See zero votes. I have not yet earned the privilege.
@Kidsandliz
It didn’t sink in yet why I really nominated you. Did it?
@PlacidPenguin Nope. I have no clue why : )
@PlacidPenguin
I think I get it. Hmmm. See PM.
@PlacidPenguin I see you starred my comment…
so would you care to explain why?Oh wait… that is a yes no question. No good. Do tell why. Waiting with baited breath… and a dragon in the wings.@f00l What or who is PM? And you do realize that at my mom’s there is only internet in the lobby so soon I will need to wander back to her apartment to do all those helpful
I had kids so they could be my slavedaughterly things like clean spots off the rug, fix the broken closet knob…and eat raspberry sherbet (because after all she is on a diet and if I eat it then I will remove that from temptation).@Kidsandliz
PM = Private Message (on Woot). Or at least in this context. Other possibilities
It’s how I communicate with some mehmbers away from Meh.
@PlacidPenguin Thank you for the explanation… but you are evading my earlier question…
@Kidsandliz
If it’s any consolation, @f00l didn’t figure it out.
@Kidsandliz
@f00l approves of raspberry sherbet in this context.
@PlacidPenguin
Oh thanks for letting the world know. Well I ain’t a mind-reader. Esp of your alleged mind. So there.
@kidsandliz
@PlacidPenguin
@f00l is at fault for
not guessing the reason to
What-the-fuck-ever.
@f00l
I didn’t tell the world what you said though. Although you did get a partial former reason.
And great, both you and @Kidsandliz made me hungry talking about raspberry sherbet.
@PlacidPenguin looking for snide suggestions for a 3 course penguin meal I ran into this
https://uk.pinterest.com/explore/penguin-party/
Definitely not what I was looking for but you might find it entertaining…
@Kidsandliz
Well…
Looks like I’ve got some planning to do.
@PlacidPenguin And I still have zero votes, not even yours, so I am definitely not getting a “reader’s choice” award. You are going to ruin your reputation… You need to nominate winners… YYYUUUUUGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEE winners. LOL
@Kidsandliz
That’s not what surprises me. It’s more of the fact that there’s no ballot stuffing going on. For the last few months, I had to deal with that.
@Kidsandliz Why do I get sniped at for bringing up current affairs and you don’t? It’s @f00l’s fault.
@OldCatLady
Gah! Must you bring up politics?
@OldCatLady Perhaps the
pointy headed - oh wait no longer the goatpenguin decided not bring attention to making a poor nomination?@Kidsandliz
Actually, this is all working out with my thinking process. Whereby the nomination thread has a person ahead by a decent amount, someone who’s only a bit behind, a few others, and you.
Well not YOU in particular.
@OldCatLady
@kidsandliz
@PlacidPenguin
@f00l is at fault when
People mention politics
And then they get blamed.
@Kidsandliz
I wasn’t going to say anything, but I changed my mind.
One goal was for nobody to vote for you, and if they would have, is have made them withdraw their vote.
@PlacidPenguin So you win LOL But we already knew no one would vote for me so you already knew your goal would be achieved - (a) the 3 way tight race last month, (b) done nothing goat worthy,
not part of the meh popular crowd, (d) only brought up once before and that was very early on… I’d say all that means it was a no brainer I’d get no votes.
@Kidsandliz I’m sure there being bigger targets isn’t a factor at all.
@jbartus OK so the rest of the reasons hold…hmm maybe it’s just that everyone hates me LOL
@Kidsandliz
C and D aren’t factors. Haven’t had a chance to look at the first two.
@PlacidPenguin well that’s annoying (c ) comes up as copyright when you have no space
. I wonder how to prevent that from happening. But back to the point - what then is the point of this little game you are playing?
@Kidsandliz
Also, B isn’t necessarily a factor.
But yeah, A is one factor.
@PlacidPenguin So do tell…what are the factors? Enquiring minds want to know how a penguin thinks.
@Kidsandliz
You will be Goat soon.
You might as well prepare now.
Blame it on poor @f00l.
@f00l Ha! It will take more than one vote and @PlacidPenguin said the goal was to keep anyone from voting from me or talking them out of it if they did… and of course neither of us know why as we have been unsuccessful in guess and also since apparently there is a cone of silence that has been evoked…
@somf69 Been used before but…appropriate here
@Kidsandliz yes I know, I post it every month…
for those who invoked it in this thread, the mehcronomicon is currently on hiatus. thank you for your fucking cooperation.
@carl669
Tell that fucking @mehcronomicon to get its fucking @mehcronomicon ass back here and put that fucking @mehcronomicon ass back to work bigtime.
Now.
/8ball Is this expectation Right and Proper?
You may rely on it
@carl669 @f00l
Carl, it sounds like f00l wants you bent over for a reason that sounds painful. Just beg him not dry.
We should just elect f001 to a long term contract since he seems to be here all the time anyway.
@cranky1950
That’s OK. I believe that f00l would graciously pass up on that opportunity.
@PlacidPenguin
@cranky1950
@f00l would need some serious incentives and recompense and even then @f00l would likely decline.
@PlacidPenguin What does that have to do with it? Sometimes greatmass is thrust upon you.
@f00l Free softsoap and kleenex for the duration.
@cranky1950
Those rewards won’t cut it. But you knew that.
Besides, I am here all the time in Goatly readiness to apologize and assume blame and write horrible limericks when they are required. It’s an attempt at professionalism.
@f00l See
@f00l Well ok Intensive care lotion then but don’t over do it.
I nominate @snapster because I refuse to accept the rules.
@thismyusername @snapster
Whenever something goes wrong for me, I blame the goatapus. Regardless of the official goat.
@PlacidPenguin Well @snapster did bring this site to existence. And he did win the most votes twice. And has not sold any catshirts here. So yeah, perpetual blame is valid.
I nominate @ELUNO for goat. He knows why.
@CaptAmehrican
and 
are on full alert! Ready to sting whoever votes for me!
RIP @RiotDemon and
@Placi@shruggieYou both got high doses of a very lethal spidersnake venom combination.
@ELUNO I’m already Death. It won’t bother me.
@RiotDemon Even death can suffer from the horrible pain of a tarantuconda poison sting.
@mfladd I wouldn’t go drinking any soups for the next couple of days…
@CaptAmehrican Don’t think I have forgotten about you! For nominating me your punishment will be very special…
@ELUNO I don’t have flesh for it to eat.
@ELUNO Hmm would that get me out of being goated by @JBartus in February?
@RiotDemon I’m pretty sure it could affect bone as well…
@mikibell no, totally wouldn’t.
@mikibell there is always March
@ELUNO Can’t you give a girl some hope??? (at least a temporary reprieve?
@ELUNO still. I’m Death. There’s really no consequence for me.
@ELUNO Be careful what you threaten. @CaptAmehrican likely can call upon a fairly large, just about world wide, armada. You could be doomed.
@ELUNO
Ah, the joys of voting.
Et tu, @f00l?
@Kidsandliz
@ELUNO
You chose not to have fun with us in the neverending thread. So why not?
@f00l No poison for you! You deserve something worse!
@ELUNO
Any machine that I could wear as Goat you will also be able to wear as Goat.
Except that you came up with that device at nearly the end of my tenure. I’ve got a really tough hide now. Nothing hurts. No longer care. Nearly free.
@f00l
I have a blame for the next goat in mind already.
You can’t receive it since it won’t happen until midnight.
@PlacidPenguin
You gonna start right away or wait until a thread is created, or until the insignia changes hands?
I’m ok w any of the above.
@f00l
Midnight EST.
@PlacidPenguin
Then
/giphy Tick Tock
There are a bunch of free goat apps for android in the Amazon AppStore right now. I think it’s part of the Amazon Digital Week Promo but not sure.
I didn’t bother to check whether these offer in-app paid upgrades or what crap they install on your phone. They appear that have tolerable reviews, if that’s worth anything.
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_st_price-asc-rank?keywords=Goat&rh=n%3A2350149011%2Ck%3AGoat&qid=1483217705&sort=price-asc-rank
Some of these apps are not free on Google play, so I suppose this is actually a time-limited sale at Amazon.
All right, I’m setting up @jbartus as goat, absentee or not. It seems reasonable to blame someone who isn’t around.
@dave
Am I free yet? Can I wash off the barnyard smell yet?
Yes! Yippee!
@f00l nooooooooooooooooooooo.
/giphy forever goat in our heartz
@ELUNO
I will always remember and cherish my Goathood.
@dave can we have @f00l as our honorary permanent goat? In addition to the monthly goat, naturally.
@jbartus
You know someday I might have to do something annoying and over-the-top.