Autumn is coming (September 2016 goat nominations)

@ELUNO I did my time as shirtgoat already.

@narfcake Come on @sammydog01 why didn’t you tell me this before I posted it?!?
/giphy I blame you!

@ELUNO She’s a goat, not a psychic.
/image psychic goat

For additional reading, here’s last month’s nomination thread:
https://meh.com/forum/topics/the-goat-days-of-summer---august-2016-nominations

@mfladd aww that’s cute you thought of me

@mfladd There’s @fool and there’s @f00l. You’re nominating the latter, right?

@mfladd so if anyone stars this then those 4 get 1 vote? I am confused.

@mfladd Pff, August has passed. Who wants to be Sept. Goat. That’s lame.

@capguncowboy does that mean you accept?

@thismyusername Break them up and do what you want with them. I posted them because they are all deserving. And I don’t have time to do otherwise

@RiotDemon does it matter?

@narfcake yes

@narfcake hang on? srsly? we have @fool and @f00l?

any ideas on how to get around ambiguity here?

/giphy ambiguous characters

@mfladd so just to be be clear, you didn’t have time to make separate nomination posts… was it because you had scheduled 3 hours of frolicking in the forums?

@Yoda_Daenerys You goat him, that’s how!

@RiotDemon oh crap. I forgot him. Yes, too!

@RiotDemon and to add fuel to the fire @jbartus sent my son an ipod nano, and a meh “jimmies” t-shirt that my daughter wears as a nightgown, and my wife wants for no apparent reason. He sent them for no other reason but that he is good… The ipod was sent to @jbartus by @Yoda_Daenerys. My son is now listening to Bruce Springsteen, Muse, and other assorted good tunes. He had to wear it into Royal Farms with him. People gave him cute looks.

(my daughters headphones - he made me buy him a “boy” color)

@mfladd the shirt was meant for you but I’m glad you daughter is enjoying it!

I thought it was agreed I would be goat when people would have Brady activities to blame me for?

@jbartus Thanks, but I am not wearing a pink jimmie shirt “just say’n”. Looks better on the girls.

But, still greatly appreciated.

Your time will come.

I will also add that @jbartus offered to send my kids used electronics each month for a couple of years. - I said no. My daughter said why didn’t you take him up on it. I said, because…

you have enough s***. I need my children to be more appreciative for what they have some times.

I think I need to send them out with @daveinwarsh’s sign some times.

@mfladd I know your daughter appreciates how good she has it as evidenced in her project to pay it forward to a classmate who isn’t as fortunate. That said, when my baby sister’s kids were little, she called me one day and said she had a favor to ask. She told me she knew I loved her kids and while she was grateful for that could I please stop buying them stuff for awhile? Sweet as those babies were they had gotten to a point where being given something was well…a given. It was very hard to tell those faces no, but I did it and they’re better grown ups for it.

@mfladd Oh and I’m saving this pic for the next time my dogs misbehave, which could be any second now. I need to put the fear of having to work for their treats in them. Not that I think it’ll work…sigh

@mfladd wow, i had lost track of who @jbartus was gunna pay it forward to with that iPod. so nice to see this update.

there’s not just a “little bruce” on there, but, if i recall correctly, it may be the entire first 7 albums of THE BOSS’s career, REMASTERED!

And the other stuff, well just ask mr. jb cuz he said he was gunna listen to it all. it’s defs all top shelf tho, but maybe some explicit lyrics for yunguns?

i’m toats stoked mr. jb paid it forward (and i hope the charger was included). i will go to my grave happy if you pay it forward to the boy of @carl669, or any other aMeh.rican, Meh.tizen or Meh.xican of your choosing, to spread the Gospel of @springsteen.

/youtube just like fire would

@Yoda_Daenerys where was little steven that day? i can hear him, but i can’t see him, hmmm.

@Yoda_Daenerys Thank you. Charger and all sorts of extras (cords and such) came with it. And when the time comes, my son will also pay it forward - it is what we do.

@mfladd awe shucks, i’m getting all teary eye’d

there is certainly no hurry, and i’d be happy to field any music questions on the mix

from yours truly, @dmlivezey, @yoda_daenerys, @mflassy

 __________________________________
( constant confusion is at least a )
(  constant                        )
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        o   ^__^
         o  (oo)\_______
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/image constant confusion is a constant

/youtube constant confusion is a constant

/giphy constant confusion is a constant

@springsteen you will suffer for @mflassy in this life, or the next. ;)~

But thanks for all the great music.

@yoda_daenerys wait…the above post was meant for you. I thought @springsteen was another incarnation of you. But after a check of the age of the username I am guessing not.

@mfladd you were correct in your original thought process link

from yours truly, @dmlivezey, @yoda_daenerys, @mflassy, @springsteen

@springsteen

@Yoda_Daenerys supplemented what you sent even.

@jbartus please elaborate.

so when @mfladd is thinking about that vodoo doll for @mflassy, (s)he can lessen the needles by the content attributed to @dmlivezey, and of course The Boss, @springsteen

 __________________________________
( hang on, what about              )
( yoda_daenerys?                   )
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        o   ^__^
         o  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

@mehbee Good point. But she is still a sh*t sometimes. But I still love her moooooore than anything.

@Yoda_Daenerys more cables and such.

@mfladd She has to keep you on your toes…it’s what we women do…it’s our JOB

@thismyusername

@jbartus this really should be a t-shirt

@jbartus nice design!!

@jbartus I nominate you twice because you didn’t save that snaptember picture smaller and it keeps crashing this thread.

@RiotDemon I blame your device for having some sort of bizarre issue. The giphy gif in the prior reply string above (gladiator one from @mfladd) is double the file size.

Say, weren’t you the one who runs like 200 open tabs?

@capguncowboy that could definitely be arranged.

@narfcake any suggestions of zero-minimum DTG printers I could put it on for @capguncowboy? Spreadshirt perhaps?

@Kidsandliz thanks!

@jbartus send one to snapster as well

@Kidsandliz Money is tight right now, I probably wouldn’t even buy it myself truth be told

@jbartus Maybe we could take up a donation… What would it cost to print 3?

@Kidsandliz I have no idea. I was hoping to stick it up somewhere like Spreadshirt and let anyone interested buy one. I pinged @narfcake as the resident shirtsumer to get thoughts on where is best to put it up.

Don’t worry about me, though! I’m not super fussed about having one, I could have one printed any time I like down the road.

@jbartus I believe that was @f00l with the 200 tabs. I try to keep mine under 100, lol. The large giphys just take forever to load, but don’t give me problems. That photo is another story. It crashed the entire thread. I ended up changing how many comments/replies load on threads to less, so now it hides your reply and it loads fine.

You can’t blame my 3 year old phone, sheesh. That’s not outdated technology at all.

Goating for you!

@jbartus put it on shirt woot and we can all vote it up.

@CaptAmehrican Derbies have themes; this would be rejected.

@RiotDemon That pic crashes my it-was-so-cheap-it-cost-less-than-a-couple-catshirts Moto E too, even when it’s the only page.

@jbartus Cheapest on-demand print? Probably via Amazon Merch. $9.31 base + $1.50 for AA + $0.01 minimum commission + 15% Amazon markup = $12.73.

Do I suggest it? FUCK NO! As I can tell, Amazon has taken control shirt.woot’s printing operations, meaning they don’t get the priority anymore, hence even the dailies being DTG instead of screened. Nevermind the platform has been easily exploited by design thieves stealing designs from real artists and Amazon not giving a fuck about it because they make money no matter what.

@narfcake so your suggestion would be…?

I simply assume any zero minimum program is going to be DTG given the realities of screen printing so that’s why I specified.

@ThumperChick Would you mind swapping out the original image in my post with this one? Maybe link the current one for people who want it full size if you feel like it, completely up to you. Just trying to resolve the inexplicable phone crashing issue.

@jbartus Just print it out, duct tape it to a t-shirt, and call it a day. It’s going to be irrelevant in a few days anyway.

@narfcake I’m not even the person who wanted it. O_o

Guess I’ll just put it on Spreadshirt or something, thanks for your expertise.

@jbartus If we could change the light blue to white, I bet I could talk the hubby into printing them up. I don’t like 3 color screens, that is why I suggest changing the light blue - such a pain trying to line up three different screens for one shirt.

@mikibell feel free to alter it for print if you want, I won’t get upset.

@capguncowboy https://www.spreadshirt.com/create-your-own?product=1012823970&view=1#?affiliateId=8054/sb/1472665907_T_P_G_L

Also @capguncowboy

myself @RiotDemon

And @DrunkCat

@RiotDemon hahaha. you sneaky demon. You have soooo saved yourself and they other two by making @fOOl the primary target here. But even a Demon’s time runs out eventually.

@mfladd #RIOTTOBER2016

@mfladd haha, I just put it in the order you said!

@RiotDemon you can’t fool us! We know you saw your nomination of my esteemed personage gaining little traction and got desperate to find a scapegoat!

@jbartus I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Was just trying to help… Just a happy coincidence that @mfladd put our names in that order, and I didn’t think to put them as separate comments instead of replies to myself.

Should I blame @sammydog01?

@RiotDemon it is her month.

I should have never been nominated.

I don’t know how to be a goat, let alone
a wise and good one. Please don’t vote for me. I cannot perform this task.

I had hoped I might go unnoticed by being very very very shy and never speaking up and always agreeing with everyone. How has this failed me? I was Under The Radar, wasn’t I?

I have absolutely no knowledge of what goats do to accept shame/blame properly. I was never educated in the social forms.

I have absolutely no idea how to be entertaining.

I stopped voting in goat elections, once I realized The Horror. Who could do that to someone?
Ye of little compassion!

I have not read most goat threads, certainly not recent ones, and am thus uneducated in the traditions.

Some goats clearly go above and beyond the Goat-Call. I am not capable of this. I was born with a congenital brain coding error in this regard. Medical science has no remedy to offer, and cannot even alleviate my suffering.

During the fall, I will be consumed with making sure my various fantasy football players are all injured and out for the season, unless they are world-class fumblers. I won’t have time to be goat.

And consider some of the other, better qualified candidates! I will make the case for a worthy alternative:

If @OldCatLady is goat, she might take us on vacation, with appropriate Human Resources employees to assist.

Therefore I whole-heartedly endorse @OldCatLady The Wise and humbly decline my nomination.

@OldCatLady has seniority in being deserving of this great honor, and I defer to her greater claim. She will serve the Meh community as it deserves to be served. She will bring to us A Shining Goat On A Hill.

In case of emergency, I nominate @JerryJones to be on call and instantly available, to serve as Meh-Vice-Goat, as I hope this responsibility will keep him away from his football team.

In fact I propose that @JerryJones be proclaimed Meh-Vice-Goat for life, by acclamation. If our fine Meh Community Goat is ever unable to go forth: Let the worst NFL General Manager and the Universal Gravity Well Of Blame and Shame be called forth in readiness to respond for all eternity.

---

Footnotes:

My life is currently located <seriously> in the Catastrophy Quadrant. Prolonged Unconsciousness may be the only remedy.

My sanity hangs by a thread. (Not snark - surely this is obvious).

The Universe Is Already Sufficiently Random.

/giphy unstable pending supernova

/giphy I cannot do this

@jbartus
Dammit. That image causing crashes may have nothing to do with its size, but it causes them. And nothing to do with browser tabs.

Clean Firebox with 1 tab, cleared cache or data, etc, on BOTH iOS (iPhone 6+) and Android (Nexus 6). Still crashes.

And the browser page often crashes right when I scroll down past the image.

I wrote a long post, wasn’t crazy about the giphys, and couldn’t edit the post in time because so many crashes. Which happens every time I’m on a thread with that image.

Would love to know the secret techy-image-nutty cause of this.

@f00l

I had hoped I might go unnoticed by being very very very shy and never
speaking up and always agreeing with everyone. How has this failed me?
I was Under The Radar, wasn’t I?

@mfladd
No comment

/giphy Radar MASH

@f00l BTW your editorial above was very funny and entertaining #goatworthy - “just say’n”.

@mfladd
Fuck you. Just sayin’.

And I should be left off simply due to FF. You know this.

/giphy Help me, Obi-Wan.

@f00l You may worthy/required to be gOAt just for being a resident of Texas.

@f00l me too.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@mfladd
May All Of Texas Fuck You Then

/image Show Band of the Southwest

/image Texas sunset

@compunaut
@jbartus
@snapster
@Shawn
@Hollboll
@CallingAllTexans

Normally I avoid politics in public. But I have a practical question.

As reasons for the inevitable divorce, I offer @mfladd’s treachery against the Fantasy Football season by supporting me as goat:

After Texas Secedes, will Meh still ship to the pathetically small and crippled remaining Continental United States?
So Much Trouble. So Much Whining. Perhaps we should just Build A Wall.

…

To quote my ancestor’s bro, Colonel Travis:

“I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, & our flag still waves proudly from the walls - I shall never surrender or retreat.”
…
“Victory or Death.”

William Barret Travis

Lt. Col.comdt.

P. S. The Lord is on our side - When the enemy appeared in sight we had not three bushels of corn - We have since found in deserted houses 80 or 90 bushels and got into the walls 20 or 30 head of Beeves.

/giphy doge on our side

@f00l You are making my case for me.

(p.s. don’t ever google “fuck Texas” gif images…NSFW!)

@mfladd
Have a phallic symbol

Live feed
http://tower.utexas.edu/

@f00l

@mfladd
/giphy excellent

@sammydog01 Bonus points to @OldCatLady for being a two-time recipient of Irk.

@sammydog01 it’s only a matter of time before OCL, that old sex panther (I mean cougar) gets hers.

@mfladd My plan is to stay vewy, vewy quiet for the last few days of each month so people will forget about me. Something has gone terribly wrong this month, and it’s @sammydog01 's fault. And I’m a little nervous.

I’m voting for @OldCatLady because I hope she will plan a wonderful vacation for all of us. Believe me, I need one.

@OldCatLady That’s what I usually do. Didn’t work so well for you though did it?

@Mehrocco_Mole Your turn is coming, fucker.

@OldCatLady And I love you too. By the way, it was another beautiful day here in Pensacola. I went golfing. You?
[edit] Almost forgot the sarcasm thingy. ;}

@Mehrocco_Mole Weather is much improved; last night the final hurrah came through, but only rain. Sympathy to all the East Coasters, especially those in Virginia Beach, where Springsteen is playing tonight. He famously plays through any and all weather. The city could shut it down, but it’s not really much wind.

@OldCatLady I was in Virginia Beach when Hurricane Charley hit in '86. I went to a movie. Flight of the Navigator I think it was.

p.s. Primary goat for Sept. must be chosen. “Honorary” goat is in name only.

@mfladd Sure, I understand. I’m still not voting it up, just in case. I voted for someone, though (not snapster, we already did that, and those votes were wasted).

@Shrdlu I understand. I have done my job - that I needed to do. Respect.

@mfladd I see that @Shrdlu has disabled the stalker features but I would bet she has one of the highest altruism scores around. That alone is worth a vote.

@sammydog01 There are some folks here that I will always regard as goatimatcally immune – and @shrdlu is one. If she gets goated, it better be for thanking.

@f00l has a high enough score anyway, not to mention the zeroes instead of ohs for a username. Now that’s a fair reason for goatdom.

@narfcake shrdlu is immune from goat - I have said it before. I have already said this an honorary position. It is just props given.
https://meh.com/forum/topics/feburary-nominations-and-fuku-apology-tour

@narfcake here’s what i have to say about your last post…

WHAT?

hang on, maybe huh?

or… hmmm, ya afiiha asdfijh

@CaptAmehrican Hmmm

I am honored to be nominated, but I really don’t see that I am very deserving. I feel that many others have done much more to earn the goat title than I.

@baqui63 But you are. Deal with the nomination

@baqui63 yea, you’re right, you suck

NOT, wait, coil those emotions back in, i’d be honored to have you as GOAT

@Mehrocco_Mole make your vote count by selecting one. It is that close of a race. Pick the appropriate post/candidate to vote for. Adding a comment here does not count.

@jbartus What are you pointing at me for? Clearly it is @sammydog01 s fault

@MrGlass it may be @sammydog01’s fault but it was your responsibility!

I have votes for both @OldCatLady and @f00l, but with a slightly stronger preference for the latter. Once again, @mfladd summonned @fool, who’s innocent, instead of @f00l – with zeroes, not ohs.

I may unvote @OldCatLady if @sammydog01 agrees, though!

@narfcake I voted for both, so whatever you decide.
/giphy decision is in your hands

@sammydog01 I’m blaming you for not giving me a clear answer!

@narfcake I have already pulled back the OCL vote - yet she is so deserving. But @f00L is getting my vote just for Texas. OCL in Florida is next.

@mfladd what do you have against Florida?
/giphy squinty eyes

/giphy Florida

@mfladd I understand my mistake. Thank you for the clarification of my bad posts. Another reason @f00l should be goated. Fucking zeros.,

@mfladd bad post again. meant for @narfcake. Again, blaming on @f00l.

@mfladd

If I am chosen:

@mfladd I shall destroy your next attempt at Fantasy Football, and will do so without participating live in a draft.

/giphy revenge in this life or the next

@f00l You can’t fool us! You are soft and cuddly like a puppy on the inside. Just like a goat!
/giphy f00l 4 goat!

@ELUNO
Not to @mfladd

/giphy hatred

@mfladd FUUUCCCKKK - I should not be September goat because I have a fucking tropical storm zeroing in on my house right this minute. I have peanut butter and water but I need to go shopping NOW.

@OldCatLady Oh no, buy some bread, ice, batteries, and toilet paper. On second thought those things are already sold out. Good luck- let us know how it goes.

@narfcake
Those ZEROs are there for a reason

/giphy no comment

@OldCatLady
My condolences regarding those wee little storms.

However, how does a Cat 5 hurricane, even, compare to incurable acute brain fever?

Are you sure you would subject me to this?

Decisions, decisions. The Cat, or the the f00l? Tick Tock. Goatness is coming.

@mfladd Let’s see which image is better:
/image fool goat

/image cat goat

@narfcake omg. Cat goat is so cute!

@narfcake
/giphy f00l goat

/giphy cat goat

@narfcake p.s. the lack of goatiness voting is excruciating to me. I want more votes. Arghhhh! gOAts are good.

@narfcake I have a zillion, and I have the ‘Exercise- Some Motivation Required’ dino shirt, and and and… I could use one or two more.

@narfcake Which one is the owner of more catshirts?
/giphy catshirts

@compunaut Both are candidates are qualified, so it boils down to non-critical aspects. Also, that .gif sucks.
/image catshirtwoot

@narfcake I agree on both counts. Catshirts is the tiebreaker: Owner of more is winner!
/giphy catshirt winner

@narfcake
@OldCatLady claims to have a zillion. Whatever that means.

Well, if she can be so vague, then I, following her estimation technique, have: <drum role>

(Way less than one zillion)^[<zillionth]

Obviously my ass is in a “whupped” condition. My numbers don’t compare to hers.

So there

If accuracy is the standard, then (guessing, I’m not at home, and some shirts are at another location due to “moving” issues):

Perhaps 15? Not sure. Plus possibly 5 more purchased as gifts?

A total of shirts (all subject matter) purchased from woot plus shirts I heard about from woot - 35? 40?

Plus perhaps 5 “other” (hoodies etc)

Plus perhaps 12 totes. I make myself stop re totes.

With those numbers. I begin, finally, to appreciate greatness.

@narfcake, I am humbled to be in your presence.

@narfcake
Need a little hint here. Which staff members accept bribes? Who to ping?

Let us note that I don’t have hurricane probs and can deliver.

Staff, don’t be greedy. Just pick your fav or make a suggestion. Remember, your alternative is to hope for a bribe from someone who will temporarily have to swim to the Post Office

can do, for example:
BBQ from further west than Dallas
Chocolate Truffles.
Black Forest Cake
Pies (various)

@f00l I only know about cookies.

@sammydog01
If you can influence this process, I could do some cookies for you if desired.

Obviously, you are at fault for this.

I can only surmise that @f00l is cheating less than @OldCatLady’s claim of “zillions”.

@f00l: 14
@OldCatLady: 15

@Yoda_Daenerys Mad? Yes. I wish my ties went on so easy. (p.s. - I hate ties and work)

@RiotDemon Unless it’s a staff member yes, so far.

@RiotDemon inb4 they pick me out of nowhere!

@ELUNO for goat!

@RiotDemon I’m the Bernie Sanders of this race. I stand no chance.

@OldCatLady why is his ass smiling?

@OldCatLady
No matter, we’ll travel on your magic carpet just anytime.

So, got a hurricane-cam? We premise you’re somewhat safe, since you’re posting.

What coast? Or inland?

@OldCatLady What kind of sport requires a kilt, no shirt, and shin guards? And where can I watch it?

@f00l Jacksonville. First we got the TS warning, gusts to 60+ mph, hurricane strength, 5-10" of rain, now they’ve added Tor:Con 7. We are so screwed. The map is very colorful. At least we’re on the east vs. west coast; they’re getting a minimum 7 feet of storm surge in Tampa.

@OldCatLady
I have some Sarasota memories.

Not what it looked like today perhaps.

@f00l It did here in Pensacola. Except the beach sand is whiter.