Official January 2017 Goat "Blame" Thread

@f00l

PS I like your thread idea here. Even if you are a pathetic Patriots fan.

@f00l

Later I’ll reward you with half of a star.

@PlacidPenguin
I’ll take any part of a star that comes my way.

/giphy "Bart Starr"

/image “Bart Starr”

@f00l

/image broken Hollywood star

@PlacidPenguin

@mikibell

@narfcake thanks for the unblame, I guess it’s kind of positive?

@narfcake

I’m positive that I can’t think of things to be positive for, so the other thread will be for people who want to blame the goat without any positives added.

@jbartus Most goats only have one thread.

(Last month’s got so long, though, I wondered if it was going to be split up!)

@narfcake

But not long enough.

Do you think I should post all of War And Peace into it? Or perhaps just a novella?

@PlacidPenguin as somebody who declared themselves to not even be a goat I don’t think you can call anything anygoat does into question.

@jbartus

Pfft.

@jbartus

And just for the record, I was willing to accept any blame aimed at the scapenguin and/or spacenguin/spacepenguin.

@PlacidPenguin I am promoting positivity

@f00l I’m sorry for your principles

@jbartus
Hey I listed positive stuff - and meant it.

And my principles feel sorry for you, Pats addict!

(This is in fun, remember?!)

@f00l I am sorry for any impression of non-fun.

Go Patriots, beat those Dallas Nerfherders!

@jbartus

Uh huh. Have you in your snow.

Today is a happy barefoot and sandals day here.

I’m happy for Jan 1, 2017 Texas weather. So there.

@f00l right 75 in Florida

@f00l You’re still goat. It’s still your fault. @jbartus has good ideas but no power- yet.

@f00l I am sorry for your short term memory loss

@jbartus

Don’t feel sorry over short term memory loss - often, in that direction lies Happiness!

@OldCatLady

Ok ok ok ok ok the Goat situation is a bit ambiguous.

@f00l is sorry that
@f00l lacks a brain. So sad to
Live with zero brain.

@f00l

@narfcake
/WANT

@f00l The image is linked to the shirt’s page.

@jbartus Unblame for the catshirt at catshirtswoot today, BTW.

@narfcake

Yeah i did click thru. But thx.

@PlacidPenguin i am sorry for the positivity but it’s not my fault you jumped the gun

@jbartus

Of course it is. You won the voting without any hacking cheating going on.

@RiotDemon I am sorry you’re not feeling well!

@jbartus only took about 7.5 hours for me to feel back to normal, so yay.

I think I will avoid shots mixed by other people from now on. I only had two, and a drink that I made for myself. This morning I woke up feeling like I swallowed razor blades. Must of been snoring like crazy last night or something. I could also feel my eyes rolling around in their sockets. Very unpleasant.

Is that normal hangover stuff? I didn’t think it was possible to be hungover from so little.

@RiotDemon I don’t think it’s just the quantity that makes hangovers. Some things that aggravate are liquors that add fancy coloring or other silly things, or that are distilled from various items like potatoes (Vodka and I are NOT friends).

I also gently, and with all the kindness I can muster, point out that as you age, hangovers occur more often, and with less provocation (dammit). I only drink wine, now, and that sparingly. I haven’t had a hangover in years and years, but I had a few in the long ago times that are still memorable. Very.

@RiotDemon

Did you know that if you are under the age of thirty, and you choose to drink more than 20 gin and tonics between 10 pm Sat night and dawn Sun morning, then once the sun is up, the sky might be a lovely shade of yellowish-green, and other persons might have to step in and make brunch, which they will do if they are nice, but it doesn’t stop them from laughing at you the entire time they are cooking?

This experiment is not recommended for persons over the age of thirty, persons in a non-taxi environment, and persons with responsibilities.

@Shrdlu I don’t normally drink vodka, and the two shots I had were both vodka. One was a peppermint flavored thing, and the other was vodka mixed with uh, cranberry, I think. I also had bottled sour mix, which I don’t normally have.

I haven’t been shit faced in probably 15+ years. I’m not a big drinker.

@f00l I can’t even imagine how that would feel. I think the most drinks I’ve had in an entire evening is 5 after the age of 17.

@RiotDemon

NYC. Was young. I suspect there was assistance in terms of other intoxicants in play to keep people going. Memory imprecise. In Manhattan, when the bars and clubs close at 2am, no one goes home. People just head for the after hours places.

I haven’t messed around like that in many many decades. And would not. All part of being young - and getting around at night in Manhattan happens by taxi or walking, so nobody’s going to be dangerous with a vehicle.

I think that was my personal record by a long long way. Usually am not that kind of drinker - am barely a drinker. 2 is quite a lot.

But that night we were betting. Whoever couldn’t keep standing and drinking had to pay. I don’t remember much. It involved a number of bars. But I didn’t have to pay.

@f00l crazy. I just never understood paying so much money for a night that I might not remember, lol

I’ll go months without a drink, and then occasionally I’ll buy a pack of something like Smirnoff Ice and have one a night for a few nights, or I’ll grab a drink at a restaurant here or there.

@RiotDemon

One of the things people with youth and stamina on their side do if they are in “taxi cities” is, once in a while, get completely toasted out on the town with some friends, and do it while still being rather civilized and intelligent during the proceedings, and try to be lots of fun and if possibly, somewhat literary or philosophical along the way.

I did it for the fun with friends, not the memories. And I think we achieved all those goals. One of the company was a Roman history nut and he wound up telling us all the most lurid stories. The Romans were not short on lurid stories. Only he fell by he wayside in the drinking, so he volunteered some $$$ for our drinking so far and someone poured him into a taxi. I wasn’t so far gone yet. Then it’s s blur of quick images.

I do remember the next morning. Roomie and I had guests staying and more people coming for brunch. The prev night was at least 3x the alcohol I had ever consumed in 24 hours.

I actually got up. And I tried to cook - we had croissants and I did get coffee started and then I was trying to do something with eggs. I was a great omelet flipper when sober.

My houseguests came into the kitchen to watch me try to cook. They toId me I would survive the morning but mostly they couldn’t stop laighung and deliberately making helpfully erroneous cooking suggestions. This stage didn’t last long - i was a mess. I was about ready to throw eggs at my lovely guests when they gently took over the cooking, made me lie down in the couch, and fed me water, coffee, oj, and bits of cheese.

My house guests had not been drinking with us the prev evening so they were mostly ok. Then people came for brunch. I kinda sorta tried to participate, but mostly my brunch guests just observed me in a humorous clinical way and made comments about me as tho I were some sort of medical specimen. Everyone was amazed I hadn’t thrown up at all.

The consensus opinion was that we should all drink less and consume more of other intoxicants. In my life, that was a kind of one-off. I was never that big an intoxicants fiend except for one year in NYC.

@RiotDemon you’ve had a very positive drugging lol

@RiotDemon Sweet booze and me do NOT go well together. Gives me a massive headache.

My problem, back in the daze of yoots, I never puke. Worst drinkerpower ever.

@CaptAmehrican I am sorry you get to indulge in bacon wrapped tater tots alone!

I hope your New Year’s Eve wasn’t too disappointing, sorry to hear your party got cancelled!

@CaptAmehrican

Special holidays are for eating stuff you normally would not allow yourself to eat.

Enjoy!

@f00l I am blaming you for blaming jbartus. He is blameless as long as you have the goat icon

@CaptAmehrican

Ok Ok.

@f00l is to blame for
Blaming @jbartus when @f00l
Still has Goat icon.

Bad Bad @f00l.

@jbartus: it was indicated that I should take some blame, and I did. So there’s your positive, Pats fan.

@carl669 Hmm. Since hangovers are things that literally hang over, something that is compressed would be the opposite. So you can be UpTightMan. No? How about FastMetabolizerMan?

@OldCatLady hmm… interesting suggestion, but it doesn’t really flow that well.

what are the benefits of not getting a hangover? like the ability to function the next day. or go get your friends food while they’re while they’re sitting there saying things like “i’m dying” or “i hate you”.

@f00l he should be blamed that it’s the 3rd but you’re still goat. So you get the blame automatically, sorry.

@RiotDemon

@f00l is sorta still
Goat. @f00l earns blame by being
@blamed. @f00l deserves blame!

@f00l

@jbartus is guilty of foolishly drinking over the holiday weekend while suffering from a cold and accepts all blame for doing so and the probable ensuing prolonged illness.

@jbartus is, however, grateful that he had good company over said weekend which influenced such a decision and would absolutely do it again.

@jbartus

@f00l will assume all
Blame for @jbartus drinking!
Celebrate something!

@f00l

@jbartus is to blame because it’s a combined Monday-Tuesday, work-wise, and those always suck beyond all sucking suckage.

But some happiness for this moment because so far this morning, the weather is decent for January, and also a piano has not yet fallen on @f00l’s head today.

The day is young, but @f00l has optimism about that risk of falling piano thing.

@f00l I get the feeling that people aren’t taking the positivity side of things as seriously as I’d hoped they would.

@jbartus

As long as people don’t take the negativity thing too seriously either, there is balance in the force, padawan.

Also I still have the Goat icon following me around.

@f00l maybe @hollboll or @shawn decided to make your position a permanent appointment.

@jbartus

Naw. They’re just still hung over.

@jbartus You and the Feb goat may escape with 28 days each. I’m sure they’ll be intense days, though. Make them count! And you get the blame because my paperwhite narcissi are apparently going to bloom in January after all.

@OldCatLady you put too much stock in the icon, I’ve been taking responsibility for being goat since 12:00:01 on January 1 and you could have denied responsibility as of 12:00:00 the day after your month

@jbartus
@OldCatLady

Oh look who’s got his eye on the clock!

@mikibell there is more to be optimistic about in life than most people account for. Even in 2016 this was true.

@mikibell
@jbartus

Ok I’ll own up.

@jbartus, I intend to torment you as Goat - once you are fully Goated - as much as possible - so long as it’s fun.

but I admire your approach

Which doesn’t mean you don’t get tormented. Perhaps, once I’m not even a whisp of a Goat, I’ll have time to try to write a sonnet tormenting you.

Realistic caustious optimism is good.

People who have that trait easily and naturally statistically find more success in life, and they should. Because if you spend your energy calculating the odds and goodness/badness of everything as far down as you can, you not only spend a lot of time calculating, you kill your own energy to move forward.

People who are realistically optimistic have the energy and the hope it takes to take risks, start things, make changes.

A cynic is “a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

Oscar Wilde

So I salute your goal of encouraging optimism - at this exact picosecond.

I’ll be back to tormenting you shortly.

@f00l is to blame for
This recess from tormenting
@jbartus non-stop.

@f00l encourages
Optimism. Must always
Blame @jbartus too!

@jbartus

@jbartus is Goat!
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
Blame blame @jbartus!

Hey? @jbartus? How about something to celebrate?

I’M NOT GOAT ANYMORE! Party Time!

You can come to the party too. We invite barnyard animals so long as they are well groomed and polite.

@f00l

/giphy polite goat

@jbartus I was blaming you for being overwhelmed, not optimistic

@mikibell that’s fine, I was simply noting that people often miss all of the many things they have in life to be optimistic about.

@f00l close enough. I am sorry for causing you to sneeze!

@jbartus Very good that your father is in a hospital. He will have their full attention, probably a lot more than he ever wanted. I’m thinking good thoughts for him. New fridge models come out in spring, so you ought to be able to get a deal on a 2016 model. At least all this didn’t happen on a Friday night about 11 PM, which is when stuff usually goes sideways.

@jbartus

I’m sorry about the fridge. I’m a believer in buying old appliances for under $100 and then they last forever (pricing of the new ones irritates me), but perhaps that’s just @f00lish.

Really really sorry about your Dad, but glad they caught it, and he’s under good care, and they can do amazing things now.

Better that he finds out now and deals with things than not to know.

Keep us updated pls.

@jbartus Can we do anything??? Not that long of a drive!

@mikibell if you have a pocket sized teleporter you could lend me that’d be great, otherwise there’s not a whole lot to do but wait and play the hand we’re dealt.

@jbartus Had a Pocket Teleporter (last iteration of Popeil Pocket Fisherman); got rid of it. Only thing it would reliably send was an orange, or my car keys. Kinda useless.
Seriously, thinking positive thoughts re: your dad.

@jbartus

For your dad
Cheer him up.

Not the Bluebird of Happiness -
the Cardinal of Happiness.

Our cardinals often stuck around during the sort-of-winters we get in N TX.

@jbartus My friend…if I had one, I would share with you in a heartbeat! to dad…

@jbartus I hope everything goes well with your dad.

@jbartus You have my sympathy (and concern) for your father, and he’ll be in my thoughts tonight. Here’s a little smile for you:

@OldCatLady @f00l @Shrdlu @RiotDemon @compunaut @mikibell

Dad is okay, he had two massively obstructed arteries and they had to install two shunts. He’s been admitted for two days for observation and such but they expect him to be okay.

@compunaut is your name Nakor?

@jbartus here’s to a speedy recovery! Glad it was caught early!

@jbartus

Thx let us know if he continues to improve.

@jbartus Ummm, Nakor? Seriously?
Nope

@compunaut but you teleport oranges!

http://midkemia.wikia.com/wiki/Nakor

@jbartus Thanks for the education
But Nakor’s just magic, like Penn & Teller. He’s not doing teleportation

@compunaut ah but he is, his bag has the rough equivalent of a portal in it leading to a produce warehouse, hence the origin of the oranges.

@jbartus Then it’s not magic, is it?

@compunaut Nakor doesn’t have magic, he has tricks.

@jbartus Sure glad they caught that before a heart attack. Glad someone made him go to the ER. Also don’t forget there is a recent fridge thread. Also hope you live north enough that your back porch can serve as a temporary fridge/freezer until you get a new one.

@f00l a nice fresh breeze

@CaptAmehrican @f00l Yup agree. If the Pride was in port I hope you stole it and went for a nice little morning jaunt.

@mfladd your blame is summarily rejected for cause. No good things were mentioned!

@CaptAmehrican I will accept your impending shipment of new goodies as your positive and happily take all blame / credit for woot having items worth buying to sell!

@jbartus somehow basement lights to replace the busted ones doesn’t quite count as goodies. I now blame you for the basement lights with the industrial bulbs going kuput.

@CaptAmehrican well if new goodies can’t be the positive then I need to reject your blame for lack of positivity!

@f00l I haven’t watched the series beyond season 1 for a reason, shut up shut up shut up shut up. LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA!

@jbartus

If you haven’t watched beyond the first season, why are you complaining about GRRM’s writing pace? You’re as slow as he is.

@f00l nope, I’m just actively avoiding contributing to his jet-setting account. Viewership drives ad revenue, ad revenue drives royalties.

@jbartus

Public library.

@f00l Apparently NSFW; the local IT police don’t let that thru
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@compunaut

Take a look at that site when you get home. Except not around young persons. And not where you might have to experience why you are laughing so hard you fell on the floor.

@f00l
PS to anyone curious

These awards are given to writers and book which are otherwise good and worthy of attention. The writers chosen have, counting them all together, captured about all of the big literary prizes.

Good and worthy except that for some reason the writer felt they had to go all detailed and graphic about sex. Not their best idea, one could say.

The award was established by the Literary Review, a British magazine, and the winners therefore skew slightly toward British writers. But they’re open to considering any reputable writer in English who thought that a graphic literary description of sex could always use a few more metaphors, adjectives, and adverbs - and who then let the passage stay in the final manuscript.

The winning passages are so horribly funny that if one read them seriously, they might have put even Casanova and Colette off sex.

Many or all of the infamous (and happily brief) passages are online.

Winner’s List to date, from Wikipedia

1993: Melvyn Bragg, A Time to Dance

1994: Philip Hook, The Stonebreakers

1995: Philip Kerr, Gridiron

1996: David Huggins, The Big Kiss: An Arcade Mystery

1997: Nicholas Royle, The Matter of the Heart

1998: Sebastian Faulks, Charlotte Gray

1999: A. A. Gill, Starcrossed

2000: Sean Thomas, Kissing England[6]

2001: Christopher Hart, Rescue Me

2002: Wendy Perriam, Tread Softly[2]

2003: Aniruddha Bahal, Bunker 13

2004: Tom Wolfe, I Am Charlotte Simmons

2005: Giles Coren, Winkler[7]

2006: Iain Hollingshead, Twenty Something[8]

2007: Norman Mailer, The Castle in the Forest[9]

2008: Rachel Johnson, Shire Hell; John Updike, Lifetime Achievement Award

2009: Jonathan Littell, The Kindly Ones

2010: Rowan Somerville, The Shape of Her [10]

2011: David Guterson, Ed King[11]

2012: Nancy Huston, Infrared[12]

2013: Manil Suri, The City of Devi

2014: Ben Okri, The Age of Magic [13]

2015: Morrissey, List of the Lost [14]

2016: Erri De Luca, The Day Before Happiness

@f00l 2005 was probably the longest run on sentence I’ve ever read.

@RiotDemon Zorro. Hahaha!

@sammydog01 that scene should be used in a porno just because it’s so ridiculous.

@f00l I will take care of that right here and now. I blame @@f00l for the fact that the stupid motel heater in this apt only heats one of the two rooms (rather like it only cools one of the two rooms). No need for positive since you are not @jbartus. You are welcome.

@Kidsandliz

Motel heaters in
Apartments suck. So cold. But
@f00l is not Goat now.

@jbartus earns blame.
@f00l is not Goat. @jbartus
Owes two limericks.

@f00l does not matter you are not the goat. This is a procrastinated blame thus it is still a valid blame on your ex past watch. : )

@Kidsandliz

Yeah. That’s why you got some haiku action.

BTW you are acting very much like a future goat.

@f00l future like 2079

@Kidsandliz

You have all these degrees - what, a PhD and MBA - and you haven’t learned how to count days and months yet? How distressing. Calling elementary school teachers - you are needed here.

Re Goatiness: Try thinking hard about Feb or March 2017.

@f00l March. @mikibell has dibs on February

@jbartus

Ok re @kidsandliz. But soon.

And you owe us some limericks.
Drunk limericks are just fine.

There once was a fool named @f00l,
She thought she was too cool for school.
She was a goat a long time,
Committed word crimes,
And stiffed us on a sonnet, uncool.

@sammydog01

the curse of parenthood?

@sammydog01 I’d come to your defense that it was justifiable homicide…and also help you blame the schools… (well and the goat)

@sammydog01

@communist I do love that place.

@carl669

How sober were you during the workout?

@f00l very. apparently this crossfit thing requires me to have some semblance of coordination.

@carl669

@thismyusername it’s totally not like that! but, if you catching me talking in long strings of crossfit acronyms like AMRAP and EMOM, i give you permission to kick my ass.

@carl669 as long as your KIPPING it real

@jbartus

To me, the depth of your anguish is misplaced. Possibly the community didn’t understand exactly what you wanted - possibly we have wanted things to be lighter, more whimsical, and less intense than “I’m alive and safe and well-fed and my family is great.”

The whole point of having a Goat and a Goat thread is that it’s charming and funny and light, and plays off the individual personality of the monthly Goat.

And since we all enjoy a little kvetching now and then, the Goat thread offers an outlet for that also.

Your attempts at personalization were appreciated, I think. I liked it, anyway. Made it a fun challenge. But you didn’t provide ongoing examples or commentary to let people know what you were looking for. I understand why - the last two weeks have been pretty tough for you. But your relative absence did leave me wondering where you’d gone off to and whether things with your Dad were much worse than you were letting on.

Bear in mind that many of the things we complain about are infinitely silly. In those cases, why not have the positive element be silly also? Humor can lighten a load.

And also, one could take the view that every moment, every place, every choice, every action, every awareness implies the infinite, implies the universe. And sometimes when we have something go wrong, it is the tiny details and infinitesimals of life that bring us into a more normal perspective.

And there’s the motivation we have, that since you are Goat, we get to tease you. All good-naturedly, of course. And sometimes we wish to tease you a bit both with the complaint and with the corresponding “good thing”. And we hope you’ll enjoy it and reply in kind. Tease back. A bonding thing.

You started your term as Goat by warning us that the month would be stressful for you IRL. And that was before your Dad and before your fridge. I think everyone here is rooting for things to ease up for you, And we really want your Dad to be OK.

And besides, I bet you’re still a Pats fan. So there.

So why don’t you not give up on it just yet? We know you’ve prob been overwhelmed by life lately. So when you can, come back with more free time, tease us a little, add to the thread w in your own examples of blame and gratitude, and see what happens? Don’t shoot it, fix it. Use it. Let it evolve.

We haven’t given up on you, so don’t you go around giving up on us, Goat.

And when I am grateful that, say, traffic wasn’t bad, that’s a metaphor. What I’m actually grateful for is that life does not suck. Reason from the small to the large here. Don’t make me spell it out each time, OK? And I’m gonna try to make it funny if I can. “Don’t stand in the doorway, don’t block up the hall”, said someone, once.

How’s that for good news? Will that do for positivity, Pats fan?

William Blake
"To See a World…"

(Fragments from "Auguries of Innocence"
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

A Robin Redbreast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage.
A dove house fill’d with doves and pigeons
Shudders Hell thro’ all its regions.
A Dog starv’d at his Master’s Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State.
A Horse misus’d upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fiber from the Brain does tear.

He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar.
The Beggar’s Dog and Widow’s Cat,
Feed them and thou wilt grow fat.
The Gnat that sings his Summer song
Poison gets from Slander’s tongue.
The poison of the Snake and Newt
Is the sweat of Envy’s Foot.

A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy and Woe;
And when this we rightly know
Thro’ the World we safely go.

Every Night and every Morn
Some to Misery are Born.
Every Morn and every Night
Some are Born to sweet delight.
Some are Born to sweet delight,
Some are Born to Endless Night

So have a little faith, OK?

Hope you’re in a better mood now. Oh, and thx for you thoughts. But I didn’t say that, so don’t quote me.

@f00l oh have no fear, I’m not giving up, just trying to figure out how to make it better.

@jbartus

You could start with limericks.

@f00l you still owe me a sonnet.

@jbartus
I can’t write sonnets while I’m shivering in the dead of winter. Way way too cold. My poor numb fingers! My vacant numb brain!

It’s 63F outside right now. If I drink several ice cold beers and jump in a lake during a very windy spell, I might be a little chilly.

If I can only start a fire to warm self up, perhaps I’ll try.

@f00l If you’re shivering at 63F you need to get yourself to a doctor. I shall expect either a doctor’s note or a sonnet by the end of the week.

@jbartus

From The Desk Of Dr Strangelove

To Whom It May Concern

@f00l is not very stable
In fact @f00l can barely enable
@f00l’s "Civilized Mode"
For that would erode
Our own universe’s timetable.

Therefore:
@f00l is excused.

Sincerely,
Dr Strangelove

@DrStrangelove Imposter! Fraud! There was not enough bomb-loving!

From The Desk Of Dr Strangelove

@jbartus
We beg your pardon, sir. We presumed that, as a mine-shaft survivor, you were already properly indoctrinated.

We will send an indoctrination team to work with you personally.

Until the team arrives, please watch the following video on a loop whenever you are conscious.

Sincerely
Dr Strangelove

@DrStrangelove fraud!

From The Desk Of Dr Strangelove

@jbartus

You will feel better after your re-indoctrination has been completed, sir. Just try to keep calm until the team arrives.

Here is another video to assist in maintaining your self-composure.

Sincerely
Dr Strangelove

@Kidsandliz

Gad. Sux.

You could laugh at how bad things are, I spoze.

This is why you soldiered on till you got those degrees, right?

@f00l I don’t do Pollyanna. Never have. Never will. I do not manufacture things to be grateful for each time something goes wrong because in my opinion that then sends a message that what I feel is being discounted. There is a time to be grateful and a time to be pissed off. I will just be more pissed off to have to find something to be grateful for in the middle of a PITA situation. Right now I am pissed off. Under a different set of circumstances I will be grateful for having the job from hell, but now is not the time.

@Kidsandliz

Forrest Gump plays more the Pollyanna in this scene. But Lt Dan’s attitude might work for you.

@lisaviolet

@lisaviolet Oh your poor kitty (and you guys for the cost). I have a cat (almost 16) who keeps getting pancreatitis (had it like 4 or 5 times now; also has stage 2 kidney failure, diabetes in remission, hyperthyroid…). I was told by our vet if he hardly moves likely he is likely in acute pain from the pancreatitis (and there are drugs for that). Hope your baby feels better soon.

@Kidsandliz Thanks for asking.

He’s feeling a lot better. He’s not nearly as noisy as he had been and his appetite has perked up (he ate a can and a half of Fancy Feast with FortiFlora tonight) . He’s sleeping a lot deeper, too. The enrofloxacin makes him drool. The other antibiotic is doxycycline.

His BUN was a little above normal, but his creatinine was okay, so kidneys aren’t impaired. Whew. He did show as anemic, but she said that taking care of these other problems should fix that.

We’ve been going to this vet for thirty years and he cuts us a pretty good deal. And they like us. After the vet who checked Pete out came back in, she mentioned that Pete may need additional fluids (they gave him fluids when they took him back for the tests - no charge for the fluids), but that Dave (the owner) told her that I was comfortable giving subQs so I could do it here at home if need be. She asked if we need any (nope, plenty of fluids on hand as well as 18 gauge needles). We didn’t get charged for all of the x-rays that were taken and we got a discount on the overall cost.

After going through the stress of losing Bernadette, then right into the problems with Pete, well, suffice it to say I worry a lot when they’re ill.

@lisaviolet
your vet.

@KittySprinkles

Can your inner demon frighten this virus or whatever so it gets the fuck outta Dodge?

@f00l Apparently it’s not afraid of me. Have I lost my fucking edge?

Hell even I’m afraid of me

@KittySprinkles

whiskey and Theraflu

The new PB&J?

@KittySprinkles Tamiflu, and you both have a short window. Get thee to a doctor ASAP.

@OldCatLady No health insurance as of a couple weeks ago and now, no way to even get my existing medications.

@KittySprinkles Well, dammit. Sorry. The timing really does suck.

@OldCatLady Not going to lie, straight up scared as hell.

@KittySprinkles Sorry you are sick with no health insurance. You can still sign up for obama care in January, but if you don’t do it this month I think you are out of luck until Jan 2018 (well signing up the end of 2017). If you have no pre-existing conditions you could try the 11 mo temporary health insurance. That is cheaper and since you just had insurance there’d be no legal gap with respect to not allowing you to do that as your excuse would be that you have no insurance as of the end of Dec, it is Jan and you need temp insurance for 11 mo. The temp insurances are exempt from the obama care rules so it is legal to not insure you if you have pre-existing conditions and legal to have a life time limit…

@KittySprinkles get yourself some Airborne chewables ASAP, Doctor Goat’s orders. You might fend it off yet if you give your body the resources to fight!

@narfcake Um… two? Make sure to go for the WildSide jar! #Worth

@jbartus I haven’t figured out if those would work or not. It’s a commercial unit (ICB3) with the sound cover.

(Also guess again!)

@jbartus If I remove the sound cover, it’d work. Otherwise, it’s too tall.

A lot of money, though. I’ll have to hold off on it, what with the whole water heater incident that’s going to total almost $1k by the time I’m done with it. No point of filing insurance either, as it’s less than my deductible.

Maybe I’ll luck out and find a jar in another thrift store. That’s kind of how it worked with my current KitchenAid blender - $4 base in one store + $5 jar in a different store = $9 total for a $100 blender.

@narfcake Every time you post about another find, I get this itch to hit the local thrift stores, and then I come home with Stuff. Bad. You can apparently get a jar for your ICB3 on eBay for $42. unless I’m reading it wrong. http://www.ebay.com/itm/Blendtec-Blender-ICB3-Carafe-Jar-Pitcher-with-Lid-Red-Magenta-ICB3-MP-/360418221903

@OldCatLady All things Bad should be blamed on the Goat. So say we all…

@OldCatLady Yeah, I saw that one. Still an ouchie that it’s 7 times what I paid for the base, though!

@narfcake so 0.5 catshirts.

@jbartus Yep.
/image one half catshirt

@f00l the blame thread is for us to blame the goat… goats are not supposed to blame or unblame themselves, not that you or the penguin realize that

@thismyusername
No reason Goat can’t blame self. And this Goat wants the thread to develop in a positive or inspired direction. So the Goat should be around showing us examples and leading the way now and then.

Calling @jbartus!

@f00l have you ever heard of an infinite loop? cause the goat blaming themselves is how you get infinite loops.

@thismyusername
My internal processor loves infinite loops. Doesn’t everyone’s?

@thismyusername

@CaptAmehrican the JC pennys here has removed registers, but left the “guest services” signs hanging… so there are random groups of people who keep heading to the signs with their items wondering where the service went…

@CaptAmehrican I blame @jbartus because I didn’t got a $10 off $10 coupon recently at Penny’s and that’s how I get all my socks.

@RiotDemon
Triple unblame for @jbartus.

@CaptAmehrican I cannot in good conscience accept blame / responsibility for such an awesome thing which I had no hand in.

I accept all blame for my inability to take credit for something great I had no part in.

@jbartus
We blame you for not doing Goat Yoga and posting the pix here.

We celebrate cause those pix will be awesome!

@OldCatLady hooray for timely coupons!

@f00l sorry I’ve just been busy, only really been able to come to Meh for the FML competition because I feel obligated to see it through, life has been tossing lots of curve balls. Dad is doing fine, been eating better (and complaining loudly) and going for walks (of his own volition) so things are looking up in that department. New fridge is loved by all, my car is repaired for a bit under $250, and my brother’s girlfriend’s car was totaled but she’s excited about her soon-to-be new car.

All in all things are good I’ve just been busy as hell, worked all through the long weekend, even on my birthday on Sunday. Sometimes it feels like I never get time to breathe but, on the other hand, this is what I want to be doing and it comes with the territory. I am grateful to live in a country where starting my own business is an option and for having clients who like me enough to keep asking me back to do more work.

@jbartus
Good answer.
Triple unblame.
Pls celehrate in little moments between other moment working all the time. K?

@f00l okay.

Also I forgot to mention, I did warn you guys in advance that January would keep me busy so… I’m kind of sorry I’m not sorry in a way.

@jbartus
I’m sure you can find the energy now and then to be a contrarian. You just illustrated the principle. Want more, as you are able.

Blame @jbartus because he is a contrarian.

Unblame @jbartus because he is a contrarian.

So there.

@f00l

@jbartus

Are you sorry because you’re sorry because you’re sorry because you’re sorry because …?

Fun!

@jbartus I UFROGIVE YOU WINCE U POWSTED THE SAME CUTE GOAT IN THE FLM EARLY BIRD THING

@f00l Blame less than half of America’s voters instead?

@jbartus still gets an unblame that not everything has imploded … yet.

@narfcake Maybe everything has imploded & we haven’t noticed yet
/image slow burn

@narfcake can we blame more than half of the voters in more than a handful of densely populated metro areas instead?

@narfcake less than a 1/3 of eligible voters… be accurate

@f00l I’m not sure it’s right to blame me for an annual problem that you could solve by breathing only through your mouth for two months.

@jbartus

You mean you don’t think I’m a “mouth-breather” full-time and non-stop?

I might just forgive you for your lack of consideration and empathy.

@jbartus I’m pretty sure @f00l has not perfected the capability to drink beer (or absinthe) while breathing thru the mouth

@compunaut
@jbartus prob thinks I drink both beer and absinthe thru my my nose. And I blame him for that.

But I cherish my capacities to rise above both pettiness and allergies and I forgive and celebrate all.

@compunaut @f00l don’t breathe while drinking duh

@jbartus

And I have a wonderful capacity to celebrate your snark even though my eyes still itch like crazy.

@f00l you’re right, my snark is amazingly great.

@jbartus
You are a Great Snark, so I shall hunt you.

I have a Great Soul, so I’m counting to 1 billion in order to give you a head start and make it more fun for both of us.

Ready
Set
Go!!!

@f00l you do realize that even at one second per count (which is unlikely) counting to one billion would take over 31 years right?

Also, I should warn you, I have a vorpal sword and I know how to use it.

@jbartus Nobody likes a cocky goat
/image cocky goat

@compunaut I know, you all love me, it’s all good. I lo… er lo… l… lo… like you guys too.

@jbartus

Goat got legs and he knows how to use 'em

@jbartus

I count really fast. How fast?

Well faster than that!
No, faster than even that.
And way way faster than that.

Anyway, I have a Vorpal Ranged Weapon.

@f00l but it doesn’t go Snicker Snack. You’ll never kill the Jabberwock with that!

@jbartus
Onward, Technology!, thou Positivity SnarkGoat.

Am making progress on that 1 billion Vorpal Countdown. Concentrate in making the hunt interesting.

@f00l too tired. Still working… and it’s fucking friday… and I slept a whopping 8 hours over the last three days.

@jbartus
Why do you think I’m doing a countdown? Juniper pollen and perhaps your excessive workload will be done with by the time i hit 1 billion.

@f00l hmm…

/me orders a dump truck load of juniper pollen to be delivered to @f00l’s neighborhood and spread all over his neighbor’s yards.

@jbartus
A dump truck’s worth of pollen would be an insignificant addition to the amount of pollen that’s already here. No one would even notice the diff.

If it makes you happy, or even if it doesn’t, everyone around is rubbing their eyes and is miserable.

Most years I don’t notice. About 2-3 times a decade it gets so bad that it rates newspaper headlines, and in central Texas some people wind up in the hospital.

“Mountain cedar” (so-called) in Texas

@Kidsandliz
Bit did those pollen varieties drive everyone into full-on misery or insanity?

This January pollen is seriously hostile to human life.

When I am suffering, sometimes it helps to know I’m not the only one, even tho that is a horrible attitude to have and I should be more Zen.

@f00l Obnoxious wins! 7th Superbowl appearance for NE in 15 years. Last time Superbowl was in Houston, NE beat Carolina. Tom Brady is 4-0 vs Atlanta.

@f00l I accept this blame but don’t think it will get you anywhere with regards to the autocorrect matter.

@jbartus
You’re guilty of my January autocorrect problems whether you accept the blame or not.

I celebrate your Goat-headedness.

@f00l just because you say so doesn’t make it so!

There, I’m all caught up! (This is your positive antidote.)

@Thumperchick I accept all blame for your procrastination!

@f00l stop being a muddler!

@shruggie sock puppets don’t get to blame.

@jbartus

Sock puppets are an intelligent life form. By you trying to prevent a sock puppet from voting, you’re denying a life form from having a voice. (Blame)

Thankfully though, I’m not a sock puppet (unblame), but it still bothers me (blame).

@shruggie still haven’t disproven the claim or explicitly denied it. At least Irk’s the wholesome kind of troll.

@jbartus

How would you like me to disprove your theory?

@shruggie unblocking your profile would be a good start.

@RiotDemon

Blame. Florida.

Unblame. Florida.

Blame. I’m trying to process Florida.

@ilovehollboll I keep telling myself that one day I’ll move… I’m not sure what’s worse, the terrible heat, or blizzards. If Florida could just turn down the thermostat in the summer, it’d be almost perfect.

@RiotDemon As they say: It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity

@RiotDemon @compunaut

@dashcloud Drink details, please (perhaps in the Drunk thread)

@dashcloud Yes- I move one slot higher!

@dashcloud it’s my fault that I missed my own picks too.

@jbartus Now I might make it into the top 5.
But I doubt it

@compunaut I expect to fall like a rock.

@f00l

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/procatstination-9

@narfcake
No one treats me with the same respect that a typical human-owning cat receives.

@dashcloud

And never rainbow. NEVER!

@dashcloud I reject all blame for cause.

They’re called jimmies damnit.

@Kidsandliz
And you’re not currently winning the neverending thread.
Blame @jbartus if you feel inclined.

@f00l I was winning for 18 days until you resurrected it… that will be a record hard to break until someone locks it. I’m set.

@f00l nope I blame you since you posted last on that

@Kidsandliz
@jbartis is entirely to blame.

However all great fun so unblame and celebrate a day where we can alll blame @jbartus.

@narfcake my curiosity is piqued.

@jbartus At the time of the post, the last reply was in a different thread, which meant that thread’s image was at the top. And I didn’t want to see that racist’s mug – hence, this thread bump.

@narfcake I’m fearing this just went political so I’m gonna go ahead and discontinue this line of inquiry. I got what you were doing, was curious about the motivation thereof.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@narfcake Consider this blame acceptance to be antedated for Monday! I’m sorry you’ll have to buy coffee separately now!

@f00l P.S. - Still not taking the blame for autocorrect. Blame the new goat all you like!

@jbartus
You still have the icon. And the beard and horns.

And you still probably still smell like a Goat. Good thing you’re more than 1000 miles away.

I blame you for still being the Goat.

I celebrate that I can’t smell your Goatiness from this far away.

@jbartus

You will never get over the responsibility for my autocorrect errors.

Some stains can’t be washed off.

@jbartus It’s still January here on the west coast – so you’re still on the hook.

… which means you’re still getting blamed unblamed for catshirtswoot and catshirtsteeturtle.

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/live-long-and-prospurr

http://www.teeturtle.com/products/the-solar-system

@narfcake I will take the unblames but as of my posting this it was officially February at Meh HQ, I’m all done!

@f00l you can’t make me!

@jbartus It’s not over until the logo’s gone.
/giphy finish the goat

@narfcake you’re entitled to play by your rules, I’ll play by mine.

@jbartus And you’re playing along well!
/image it’s not over until the goat is gone

@jbartus
Re being Goat:

Wrong. You are still Goat at this moment. It’s done when they take the icon off your uid.

It’s not up to you. It’s up the the Fates.

And guess what?

Your Fate Is Meh.

@jbartus

Re autocorrect controversy:

@f00l you can’t make me!

Oh ye of little faith.

I can torment you. Just what did you think this was all about, anyway?

@f00l you don’t get it. The blame is only as good as the acceptance thereof. You’re best off stocking up your blame for February’s goat

@jbartus

Exactly WTF do you think this has to do with you choosing to accept or deny blame?
Except that if you reject blame, it’s all the more fun to pile it on.

You are not exactly in tune with the cosmos here. Time for you to consult with Carl Sagan.

To be precise:

You are Goat because we choose to deliver blame in your direction.

And that condition is both necessary and sufficient to mark you as Goat.

quod erat demonstrandum

@f00l can’t make me take the blame. I did my time, it’s somegoat else’s problem now!

@jbartus

Again. O, ye of little faith.

@f00l I said I would accept blame for the Super Bowl, not the inane ramblings of that delusional narcissist.

@jbartus
Media Week is all part of the SuperBowl.
And you know that so don’t weasel.

However, I celebrate that we both dislike the biased politicalization of NFL mgmt and the favoritism shown toward certain owners/teams/markets.

BTW, you still seem to be quite the Cosmic Goat, in server terms.

And servers are a manifestation of the Cosmos. Dont fight the truth.

@f00l again, I accepted the blame for the game, not for the delusional ramblings of a narcissistic madman. You can’t make me.

@jbartus
Uh huh.

@f00l this matter is settled, go blame @ELUNO.

@ELUNO already did, do you pay attention to anything?