March 2017 Goat Nominations - Rigged Edition
8It’s that time of the month again! Time to elect our precious escape goat of the month!
Since we all know @mikibell will be the goat for March, let’s all pretend to nominate other people as well so it isn’t so apparently rigged.
Don’t forget to vote or else my spiders and snakes will be out to get you!
Enjoy!
- 24 comments, 150 replies
- Comment
I obviously nominate @CaptAmehrican for getting me goated when I had no chance of winning!
The captain welcomes everyone aboard the Goat Boat!
@ELUNO Oh my. That water craft is glorious.
@ELUNO No chance of winning eh? I found this photo of you on the internet (not an alternative fact)
@ELUNO What month do we have @CaptAmehrican penciled in for? It better be pretty soon. I have a short attention span.
@Barney I am not sure, but it better be soon! Hopefully next.
@Kidsandliz I was trying to hand it back to @mikibell. It belonged to her!
@ELUNO Hmm… plausible alternative interpretation of this photo…
I nominate @mikibell because the Meh staff actually looks at votes.
@sammydog01 She has my vote.
@lisaviolet She has everyone’s vote
Err… I mean, NOT RIGGED!
@ELUNO @mikibell should get what she deserves. Heh-heh.
@Barney @ELUNO I’m in. And @mikibell is lucky that she won’t have to worry that something will overturn her popular win.
@Kidsandliz yep, no concerns about population centers making more rural areas irrelevant here!
@jbartus Nope no worries about that, rather the worry is the bias that exists when you have a very limited percentage of the eligible voters turning out to vote. Well that and already some of the voters are accepting bribes to vote for certain nominees.
@Kidsandliz
For or against, technically.
And I would like to remark that, excepting @DrunkCat’s bribe, which is intrinsic to @DrunkCat’s being, the bribes offered have been of remarkably poor quality.
Come on, folks: Are We Not Meh?
PS @kidsandliz, please keep in mind that you are penciled in for some excruciating future, as-yet unannounced, month.
@f00l And likely I will only get one vote - yours… I lack the popularity and the goat worthy actions : )
@Kidsandliz
I will reserve judgment on your conclusions.
@sammydog01 Wait, why are we goating @mikibell?
@jqubed
Well, she’s nice …
So perhaps the Meh community is carrying on the whole “no good deed goes unpunished” tradition …
@f00l I mean, I’m on board, just, how did this become a done deal? When was this decided?
@jqubed I’d say January of last year. Then she dodged the bullet somehow and hid in the background for nearly a year. We’re back on her scent, though!
@jqubed I don’t understand why more people aren’t questioning this…come on people, don’t take me being goated in March as a foregone conclusion…there are many other wonderful candidates out there! They are witty and well known - and they know how to make post work!
@jqubed It was never decided or a done deal. Are you taking the goat’s word for that? We just like her.
/giphy goats word
@sammydog01 Looks like I indeed help to rig these elections
@mikibell
You have not bribed me this month.
/8ball Will @mikibelll be March 2017 Goat?
Better not tell you now
@f00l
Cannot predict now
/8ball What about now? Come on, wake up!
@f00l
It seems that the /8ball does not want to get out of bed today.
I have some sympathy for that.
@f00l let me try. I think the issue might be the extra L.
/8ball Will @mikibell be March 2017 Goat?
You may rely on it
@jbartus how many times did you hit edit to get the that answer? LOL
@Kidsandliz
You may rely on it
/8ball Doesn’t it almost always take multiple rolls to get a “right” answer?
@Kidsandliz
No, it was ordained. As is @mikibell’s goatdom
/8ball Did I achieve the prior roll by any disingenuous means such as editing the post?
@narfcake Bigly rigged then!
@mikibell some peoples just have goutiness thrust upon them.
@cranky1950
goutiness
NOUN
See gout
Pronunciation
goutiness/ˈɡaʊtɪnəs/
gout
NOUN
1.mass noun A disease in which defective metabolism of uric acid causes arthritis, especially in the smaller bones of the feet, deposition of chalk-stones, and episodes of acute pain.
2.literary A drop or spot of something.
‘gouts of blood erupted from the wound’
Origin
Middle English: from Old French goute, from medieval Latin gutta, literally ‘drop’ (because gout was believed to be caused by the dropping of diseased matter from the blood into the joints).
Pronunciation
gout/ɡaʊt/
I don’t want any of this thrust upon me….
@cranky1950 would make a good goat, imho!
@mikibell Unfortunately I’ve embraced the TRUMP! It’s the other guys fault for being to stupid and Democrat to appreciate the perfection of me and my dogma. No really I’m not just talking out my ass.
@mikibell Good point. I’ll put him on the short list next month.
@Kidsandliz
Surely there’s at least one other mehmber who’d want you as the goat.
@PlacidPenguin I think @f00l is about the only other one…
@Kidsandliz
I meant besides @f00l.
@PlacidPenguin She nominated me last time no votes. I won by losing LOL
@mikibell @mikibell @mikibell
I think I have to vote for you in the end.
After all, you didn’t bribe me. And you’re going to win anyway.
It’s actually not so bad. Specially if everyone likes you. Which they do.
@jqubed Ahem. It’s that time?
@pooflady Ah, yes. I’ll probably make it over to Woot next week to launch the brackets. Certainly before the conference tournaments wrap up and the bracket is unveiled.
@jqubed
By “done deal” are you referring to @mikibell becoming March Goat? I think she was the consensus backup Goat in the voting for the January and February Goat?
https://meh.com/forum/topics/merry-goatmas-lets-pick-a-goat---january-2016-goat-nominations#5860976313f64b03f4cad017
https://meh.com/forum/topics/the-blame-must-go-on---february-2017-goat-nominations#588d195f2f824a0b70e9a216
By “done deal” to you refer to the:
“no good deed goes unpunished” tradition?
When has that not been a done deal, in the cockeyed evolution of karma? I thought it was always so?
Did someone say brackets?
@f00l This is my tenth year running an unofficial game on the Woot! forums
BRIBES SOLICITED HERE.
The Bribed-To-Be will only accept serious offers.
@f00l Vote for the captain and I will get a good word in for you to remain as deputy goat.
@ELUNO
You have not yet located a Bribe that would be considered Sufficiently Impressive.
I blame you for this.
Nominating myself as per.
@DrunkCat
Bribe? Yes?
@f00l Yes. Bribed.
@DrunkCat
All right then.
@f00l What?! I have offered more than that!
@ELUNO
@DrunkCat offers up that unmeasureable @DrunkCat Quality. This is no mean offering.
What has thou, Curse-Goat, offered me that measures up to @DrunkCat?
/giphy "drunk cat"
@f00l @ELUNO quality is no good?!?!?
@ELUNO
I am not soliciting offers to be Deputy Goat. Thanks so much for thinking of me.
@f00l It is not an offer. It is a bribe! One you cannot reject!
@ELUNO
A To-Be-Bribed individual can always reject a bribe.
Perhaps the To-Be-Bribed individual possesses honor and integrity. Hmmmm. Seems unlikely in this instance.
Perhaps the To-Be-Bribed individual is flat out greedy and intends to turn the screws. Hmmmmm. Ya think?
Perhaps a bidding war. @mikibell can bribe me not for her. Snd you can bribe me to vote for her.
Who wins?
/giphy innocence
Toss up between @Dalek and @Jasontoon.
/8ball Should I nominate @Jasontoon?
It is decidedly so
OK. I nominate @Jasontoon.
I nominate @snapster for the impending end to new VMP subscriptions. And for the lack of catshirts offered here.
Yeah, this election will still be rigged, but it’s still worth a try, right?
@narfcake
Doesn’t @snapster ignore us when we do this?
@f00l No, his minions ignore us when we do this.
@f00l
The empty Nov 2016 nominations did that. @Snapster had the most votes, but…
@narfcake I vote for @snapster . I agree with your reasoning.
This thread makes me sad… I do not want to become goat because I was the only candidate/rigged results…
… It is not the goat way. At least there was spirited debate[trickery] in last month’s thread.
@mikibell WHAAAT?!?! There are plenty of other nominations! CLEARLY not rigged!
@mikibell
It could be that we all just really really like you that much.
Or it could be that you have forgotten about something or other.
Bribe me. Make it good.
@f00l Police! Mehcurity! Stop this criminal!
@mikibell The trickery (debate) was that you will be March goat.
@mikibell there’s nothing rigged about near unanimity with regards to your qualifications for the job. Besides, @JasonToon has a few votes.
@jbartus Also I didn’t vote for @mikibell. She’s not to blame for the lack of catshirts here.
@narfcake that’s fine. I did say near unanimity after all.
@narfcake
I am opposed to @BallotStuffer voting, since I suspect that @BallotStuffer by any other name would not smell as sweet.
However, if @BallotStuffer wishes to appear and make a nomination … hmmm.
@f00l it is @ballotstufferer… there is an extra er… which is insulting to our intelligence! Disqualified in my book… who else can we disqualify so @CaptAmehrican wins??
@mikibell uhm you should be thanking me for getting you a 1 month reprieve.
@CaptAmehrican Thank you, ma’am. May I have another month, please?
@mikibell Never!
@CaptAmeherican How dare you gloat about such a heinous crime?!?!
@mikibell
Our mysterious @BallotStuffer has a number of alternative spellings. Perhaps even a number of alternative bodies and social security #'s. Who knows, save the ip logs at Meh, and even those …
/8ball Shall we ever know?
As I see it, yes
In April, I think we should just go on the nightly deal page and pick out some random poor soul (user) and make them goat. They will be like “what the fuck?” They can be the f00l goat of April.
@mfladd
I was the only @f00l Goat that can ever be.
And I will refuse to repeat until all who were Goated before me have repeated.
If we nominate some random commenter from the product threads, we will get ourselves a very inactive Goat.
PS
How many Goats does it take to fuck a Dornishman?
@mfladd but if you pick someone who doesn’t care about the rest of the forums, they might not bother to participate.
@f00l Oh believe me, you WILL be the first repeat goat
You are already the first Deputy Goat afterall!
@ELUNO
All words mean what I say they mean.
@f00l You are usually wrong
@f00l Visual image of some of your “many words posts” : )
@RiotDemon Then I will nominate @RiotDemon for April GOAT. Thanks for making my choice for me
@f00l Don’t worry, you will always be the biggest fool around here.
@mfladd
And you will always be my bitch.
@Kidsandliz
Oh, thanks! I am successful!
@mfladd meh. I already volunteered for April during last month’s voting. I’d rather be a Halloween goat… But I don’t think people will wait.
@RiotDemon
Turns out you and I are natural allies. See the personality test thread.
We must guard and protect our precious souls from corruption by the many unwashed and uncouth inferiors among the Meh masses.
@f00l What about us superiors?!?
@ELUNO
Go on thinking that, I am not responsible for your delusions.
PS you still smell Goatly for a few more days.
@f00l My deputy has taken some of my stink of me. I am on my way back to the top!
@ELUNO
I don’t smell the anything like a goat.
@f00l Perhaps maybe like this then?
@Kidsandliz Ooh! I am that romantic?!?
@Kidsandliz
Only for those who annoy me.
@ELUNO Only to another skunk. I believe that may explain the non-goat odor you claim you have… : )
@Kidsandliz @f00l @ELUNO
@PlacidPenguin @f00l @ELUNO What is this? A rose by any other name…?
I would nominate @ELUNO for writing “escape goat”, but I guess we don’t allow goat double jeopardy.
@jqubed
I would like to formally nominate @woodhouse. He is new, and as such he needs to understand what things are really like around here.
/giphy evil plan
@conandlibrarian
@woodhouse is immune.
@Jasontoon however isn’t.
@PlacidPenguin
Perhaps someone was hoping to sneak one by. New people don’t always know all the customs.
@f00l
@woodhouse - There’s a custom among mehmployees to go to @Snapster’s house with several cartoon of eggs and pelt his car with them.
@PlacidPenguin I can’t back this up, but it certainly seems plausible. Be right back, I have to go run some…errands.
@woodhouse - Hope you used the cartoon eggs?
@KDemo
Has @sammydog01 been goat yet? I am too lazy at this hour to look it up (yawn). Couldn’t sleep.
@mfladd
August 2016
https://meh.com/forum/topics/scapegoats-of-meh#58858c0db55f630830db06c0
@f00l Damn.
@PriceWaterhouseCoopers
@WarrenBeatty
@no1
@FayeDunaway
I liked her in her Bonnie outfit with the handgun and beret.
@JimmyKimmel
@MattDamon
Is @mikibell goat yet? I feel like this is taking forever
@jbartus
So you just wanna skip the end of the month? Skip Shrove Tuesday? There are gonna be a lot of unhappy drunk people in NOLA.
@f00l they can get drunk in March. St. Patrick’s Day!
@jbartus
Right now they can get drunk on both. Why should they give one of those days up?
@f00l call it a tax. That always works.
@jbartus Do votes for this post count as extra votes towards @mikibell ? I say they do!
@ELUNO works for me.
@jbartus
I think the drunks everywhere would notice the loss of a dedicated drinking day, and not accept that a “tax” was sufficient explanation. Revolution!
Furthermore Feb is already way short. And you wanna clip it further? Go pick on some other month. A big month.
@f00l it’s good for their livers. They’ll thank me some day!
@jbartus
They will not thank you. They may not have functioning livers, but they do have principles.
@f00l @jbartus Saint Patrick’s day in NOLA is awesome… I have lots o green beads from my time spent there
@ELUNO and Saint Joseph’s day… had to get a gigantic duffle to bring all the beads back (true story, before extra bag charges).
I’d like to nominate someone for goatdom… but I can’t remember who now.
@sohmageek is it @snapster? I heard he has a stash of speaker docks he has been hoarding for himself
Remember not to far in the distant past when there would be many, many more goat votes?
@mfladd
I remember!
@PepperidgeFarm I was waiting for that
p.s. Luv that as a username- so many possibilities.
@mfladd
Well once upon a time we didn’t have ballot stuffing.
I see there was a person named @baIIotstufferer.
Sigh…
@mfladd
Thanks for the cheerful reminder. Now pls go do something about it.
@mfladd yup… I am only popular with old goats!!! Come on people vote for someone (else…)
@f00l pfft. I am only a grumpy, tired, old goat.
@PlacidPenguin hahaha…now that’s funny.
@mfladd
/youtube Dora the Explorer grumpy old troll song
Last day to vote! VOTE OR ELSE!
/giphy "spider attack"
@ELUNO You think too small. Go bigger.
@mfladd Not big enough.
@mfladd You cannot tell the size from that picture. They are actually 1000 feet tall!
@ELUNO
@Eluno
Is that picture @rockblossom put up one of your selfies?
@rockblossom @Eluno @mfladd And here I thought we were electing a goat… My bad.
@Kidsandliz
You are the one who brought “thinking” into it."
Was that really necessary?
@f00l Not my fault. Blame @Eluno
@Kidsandliz
Calling @Eluno! Someone mentioned using a brain! I blame you, Curse-Goat!
@Kidsandliz You were electing a goat. Unfortunately, the spider had the goat as an hors d’oeuvre.
@rockblossom so I am off the hook?? I am spider
now?
@mikibell No, no. You are not off the hook, just destined (per the OP) to be chased by giant spiders and snakes. You could, theoretically, outrun them. Or maybe it’s lambs and lions in March. Isn’t there a saying for March? “Into a lion, out like a lamb chop?”
@rockblossom @mikibell Or is it chopped liver?
@mikibell @ELUNO @rockblossom
Maybe this?
@Dave @Snapster @galmaegi @Moose @Shawn @katylava @woodhouse @harrison
@mikibell is eager to begin her term as scapegoat and would hate to miss even a minute more than necessary. Can you help?
Congratulations @mikibell! Our new forever Goat!
@ELUNO
@mikibell hawt!
Just wondering @Eluno, @jbartus do you regret rigging this election??
@mikibell Whaa? The election was rigged?
@Barney yeah…uh huh…innocent…riiiighttttttt…
@mikibell
My vote was rigged by you. You declined to bribe me this time.
@f00l odds were overwhelmingly in my favor…saving my bribes for whatever in the future
@mikibell
I want bribes. Stop squishing my plans to get them.
Hurts my poor little feelings ya know.
@f00l That isn’t Deputy Goat behavior! Behave!
@mikibell Rigged?!? What?!? Where?!? When?!? How?!?!
@ELUNO