Make Your Own Meh Products: "Monster with Optimal Frankenstein"

Moose shared some links said
12

As mentioned in the recent Ninja sale, I put every Meh offer title in a Markov Text Generator and made a list of goofy new products that we wish we could sell.

Since @kdemo asked nicely, these are some of the best ones that I’ve come up with, a few of which were in the writeup:

Portable Bean Screen Laptop
Riviera RC Aquariums
4-Pack: Pepper Starter
Pillow with Seatbelt Cutter
Cool Bag Chair
Damson Blender Bottle Grill/Fry/Oven
Fleece Rock Knife
Samba Glass Breakers
Bluetoothbrush with Bluetooth
Illuminum Skaterproof Good/Better Discs
Zoom Socks
LED Dog Totes
Neat Mints
Monster with Optimal Frankenstein
Pocket With Headphones
Electra Wine Opening Watches
Saturday Single Set
Ray-Ban Eye Master
Your Choice Indoor/Outdoor Rock Socks
Expandable Dog Headphones
Onkyo 5.1 Channel Mug

And I also ran every Meh video title through:

  • Prank Television: Cheese?
  • Let’s Glen & Chad
  • ROSEANNE Theme from the Robot Shawn About Nineteenth-Century American Asshole, Part 12
  • Butter Teams: Maybe it Bothers Me More Than It Should
  • Introducing Mediocrebot is an Asshole Open Mic Friday Again
  • Hey, Goose Please Do You Want a Microwave Cat Pies, episode 01
  • Happy Helicopter Combat
  • Ask Irk: Nurse Me More Than It Should
  • Mediocre’s Fine
  • Ask Irk: Do You Live?
  • It’s Blue Again!
  • New Zealand - Selling Spouses?
  • Drinking Is Gross
  • Shiny Happy Birthday to Skin a Cat
  • Superiority Doppelgängers
  • A Few Words With Slow Cookin’
  • Looking Terrible with Saw Blade
  • Spoiled To Say I Love a Breaking Terrible Butt
  • Approved For Approved

This is the generator I have been using, and here is a .txt list of all of our offers (duplicates removed) and every Meh video title

Try it out and see what you come up with! I have found the Order is best set to 3 or 4. Most of what it spits out isn’t very funny or interesting, sometimes it actually gets a real product title, but if you hunt through you can find stuff like “62-Piece Breakfast Sandwich Matching Electronic Pain”

A brief and not-very-good explanation of what the text generator does: Given a bunch of text as Input, the generator will produce a random bit of text to start with and then will look at what usually comes after that, like your predictive keyboard on your phone. It has a short memory though, so if it sees “blue” then it will go letter by letter trying to say “Bluetooth”, but at a certain point it will only see “ooth”, at which point it might think we’re talking about a toothbrush, which is how we end up with Bluetoothbrush with Bluetooth