Product: Blender? Or Product Blender?

For regular folks, this Ninja is a 3-in-1 powerhouse of kitchen utility. It’ll crush, blend, and process. The single-serve cup allows you make something and take it with you in the same vessel. The Auto-iQ technology allows for timed blending, pulsing, and all the rest. But what’s most impressive? Thanks to Intelli-Sense, it’s smart enough to change the options on the screen based on what attachment you’re using.

But that’s not where its intelligence ends. What few people know is, for companies like ours, Ninja offers a rare attachment. It’s not included, and you won’t find it at just about any store. It’s called The Conceptor. Basically, it taps into the Intelli-Sense technology and the Ninja’s supreme blending ability to build new product concepts. We wanted to show you just how much it’s capable of, so we keyed in a long list of things we’ve sold before and let it it go to work. Check out some of the exciting combinations it* came up with:

Portable Bean Screen Laptop: All the processing power of a laptop, but now with more protein!

4-Pack: Pepper Starter: For when your pepper needs a little pep talk!

Fleece Rock Knife: Nice and soft to hold while you slice through those pesky rocks like they’re butter!

Bluetoothbrush with Bluetooth: The toothbrush is blue; it is designed for cleaning teeth that have been turned blue by blue beverages; the Bluetooth allows you to synch it with your phone and control its brush strokes via an app!

Damson Blender Bottle Grill/Fry/Oven: Why should “blending” be the only thing you can do on-the-go? What if you don’t want a protein shake? What if you want a brat, a fried chicken thigh, and some baked fingerling potatoes?

Electra Wine Opening Watches: You’re at a party. Someone asks, “What time is it?” You look at your watch and reply, “Time for more wine!” Cheers to that, amirite?!

Illuminum Skaterproof Good/Better Discs: Self-explanatory.

Pretty great stuff, right? Maybe someday we’ll be able to partner with manufacturers to actually make a few of these. Until then, we can only dream… and eat ice cream we made in our Ninja.

*These products were actually created by @moose using a text generator. There were many many more, all equally (or more) nonsensical. Perhaps he will share, if you ask nicely.