Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon

HAL
An interesting approach. And the name of the agent, in this case?

MACE
Roy Dillington, sir. Quite a hefty pension, if I may say so. But fear not, this was an issue of numbers. Two of my men were called away to other business.

HAL
You could’ve sent twenty, and it would have been the same result.

MACE
Excuse me, sir?

While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)