We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Victrola 50W Modern Bluetooth Turntable

  • 3-speed turntable with speakers that can also receive Bluetooth audio
  • This pair of 50-watt wooden Bluetooth speakers would be a decent deal on their own
  • Yes, it’s a Victrola, but no, you don’t have to turn a crank and it doesn’t play wax cylinders
  • Model: ITUT-420 (do we make a King Tut joke or a stoner joke?)
see more product specs

How long have you been in a coma?

That’s the easiest way to figure out how to explain this multifaceted, many-layered Victrola audio setup. What you need to know depends on what you don’t know. So think back to the year when you fell into a vegetative state, and read to that point:

Since 2008 or later: It’s a regular turntable with a pair of pretty nice wooden speakers. And the bonus is, you can stream music from your phone or laptop or whatever through the speakers via Bluetooth. So even if you never use the record player, these are pretty much the best Bluetooth home speakers you’re going to get for this price.

Since between 2004 and 2007: OK, so shortly after you laid down for your involuntary nap, this wireless connectivity system called “Bluetooth” became all the rage. iPods, phones, laptops, they all have it now. You can play music from those devices and hear it on these speakers.

Since between 1999 and 2003: Once it got to where you didn’t have to wait 43 minutes for a single Sublime song to download from Napster, people really started using their computers to listen to music. What’s more, they also started using these portable devices called “MP3 players”. But then people’s cellphones got really good, too, so people either put MP3s on their phones or, increasingly, used their phones to stream music over the Internet. No, not through RealPlayer.

Since between 1985 and 1998: The cool kids decided CDs suck and vinyl is where it’s at. Now a record costs 20 bucks, minimum, while you’d be lucky to get lunch money for your entire CD collection.

Since between 1981 and 1985: They have computers you can carry around in your pocket now and make phone calls with. And there’s this thing called “hip-hop” which is huge. It’s like the rap music you may have heard but with a lot fewer lyrics about pizza and middle school.

Since between 1947 and 1980: Everyone owns a computer now, usually multiple computers.

Since between 1877 and 1947: Almost none of the music that existed on Earth when you started your coma - we’re talking about everything ever composed, transcribed, performed, or recorded up to that point - ever gets listened to by anyone anymore.

Since 1876 or earlier: There are machines that can capture sound so people can listen to it in other times and places. Also, you woke up just in time for your beard to be back in style.

So far today...

  • 81775 of you visited.
  • 36% on a phone, 6% on a tablet.
  • 5919 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 257 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $19215 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?