Dicey

In honor of this D&D toaster that looks like a die and imprints die onto your toast, we present:

WHAT IT’S LIKE HAVING BRUNCH WITH VARIOUS D&D MONSTERS

The Beholder

You know that thing that sometimes happens? Where you sit down with a friend for brunch at a crowded restaurant? And you take two minutes to catch up? So that, when the server comes, you don’t know what you want yet? And they say, “Oh, I’ll give you another minute then”? Only that minute stretches into five? And then into ten? And you see your server wandering through the restaurant? And you keep trying desperately to make eye contact so they know to come over? But they always seem to miss your gaze?

You don’t have to worry about that with the Beholder. Eye contact WILL be achieved!

That being said, when its attention is turned on you, it can be a bit hard to eat your chicken and waffles.

The Owlbear

Due to being part owl, they’re not really attuned to being up early enough to eat brunch.

Plus, if they do show up, their bear tendencies will result in some pretty aggressive eating.

Not a fun time.

The Mind Flayer

It’s the late morning on the weekend. The place is packed. People around you are enjoying the bottomless mimosas a bit too much, and, as such, it’s getting pretty loud in there.

Thus, being able to communicate telepathically with your brunch buddy is absolutely priceless!

Also, they can read the minds of all the other brunchers and give you the hot gossip.

Ten out of ten. A perfect brunch companion.

The Gelatinous Cube

Now, as we said with the owlbear, it can be rough watching a sloppy eater at brunch.

But you know what’s even nastier? Watching a sloppy digester. Seriously, it’s difficult to maintain your appetite as you see each bit of eggs Benedict break down inside your companion.

There you have it. Of course, if you want to contribute your own brunch-with-D&D-monster scenarios in the comments, feel free. Otherwise, buy this ridiculous toaster.