TUCCI Italy 3-Piece Locking Luggage Set
- Hardsided, fashionable Italian luggage
- Each piece has a built-in combination lock, which is really cool
- Scratch-resistant and durable
- Easy to maneuver
- Can it make a Negroni: Eh, see what we did there?
Not Stanley's
Hello, I’m Stanley Tucci and Meh asked me to fill in for their copywriting department today so I could tell you how this hardsided Tucci luggage set is durable, scratch-resistant, fashionable, and easy to maneuver.
Now, just to clarify, I am not that Stanley Tucci. My name just happens to be Stanley Tucci. You’d be surprised how many of us there are. Tucci is not a wildly uncommon Italian surname, and Stanley? Well, that’s about as simple as it gets. Hence: I’m Stanley Tucci but not the actor, Stanley Tucci. I work in Tucci Disegno’s American marketing department.
The other thing I need to clarify is that, despite my last name being Tucci, I am not related to any of the Tucci Disegno founders or executives. Thus, my employment in this company is another mere coincidence.
I have explained as much to my coworkers. Countless times. And yet, still, each day when I walk into a meeting room to discuss the latest social media campaign or banner ad we plan to do, I must take a few minutes to erase ‘NEPO BABY’ scrawled in giant letters, on whatever whiteboard happened to be available. Most of the time, I ignore the snickering at the table behind me, but a few times I’ve snapped and asked what’s so funny in an admittedly injured tone, only to be it was only a joke and that I should lighten up.
These outbreaks of mine have earned me an unfortunate nickname, or nicknames–Touchy Tucci, or Stanley Touchy, depending on who you ask–whose origin story has naturally mutated via office gossip, and twice now, I’ve been interviewed by HR about certain ‘inappropriate behaviors.’ I assured them that that I’ve never done anything that might be construed as literally touchy.
As to the ‘crude and disturbing phone calls’ my coworkers claim to have overheard, I assured the HR representative that I was only explaining my non-participation in certain acts the callers asked me about. The reason for this is that I field roughly ten calls a month from people have Googled ‘Stanley Tucci phone number’ and then called my office line to ask about how I prepared to play George Harvey in 2009’s The Lovely Bones.
(Oddly, these people seem undeterred by the fact that said number appears on a luggage brand website. Nor are they put off by my picture, though there is an explanation to that; some people say I bear a striking resemblance to Stanley Tucci, which I disagree with. Personally, I feel I look more like British actor Mark Strong, but with glasses.)
So, that’s who I am.
Anyway, these Tucci luggage pieces are very nice.
