SyrenPro Water/Weather Resistant Speaker
- At this point, do we even need to tell you when the speakers we’re selling are bluetooth?
- Because this one is.
- If you buy two, they’ll work together for a true stereo sound experience (even if they are polar opposites and neither has ever had a partner before).
- Weather and water resistant, for poolside use.
- Wireless and portable.
- Model: SYRENPROWH. Now, I know the S stands for Syren and the P stands for Pro, but other than that, I’m totally lost.
Deep Bluetooth
When it comes to this SyrenPro, we know a few things. For starters, we know it has excellent sound. It might be portable, but thanks to its jAura sound enhancement technology it can fill entire rooms with a perfect balance of high, middle, and low frequencies. And we know it can be wirelessly connected to a second SyrenPro for a true stereo experience. We also know that it’s housed in weather and water resistant casing, which means it can get splashed without it being a problem.
What we don’t know is how it, in turn, affects the water we drink.
Think about it: with all that sound transmitted through the air via bluetooth these days, some of it must be getting into the many rivers, lakes, wells, and reservoirs we rely on.
So, should we be concerned? Scientists, thus far, are divided.
Professor Liz Peil of Harrington University thinks it’s a problem on par with secondhand smoke. “By my estimation, a hydrated child is consuming somewhere between two and six bluetooth-transmitted true crime podcasts a day by way of the tap water,” she told Meh. “There are preschoolers around the country dramatically narrating their playtime. And that’s to say nothing of the recent outbreak of juvenile vocal fry in urban areas like Brooklyn and the Bay Area.”
Others see it differently. Dr. Ellen Remnington, a scientist conducting research on a grant provided by the Kenner Institute of Music, believes there’s only one major side effect of bluetooth consumption. “I call it ‘subtle dance disorder,’” she said in an interview. “The principle is, we’re all drinking music in our water all day, and so we’re constantly doing a subtle dance to songs we can’t hear without realizing it.” When asked how it was possible to dance without being conscious one is doing so, she explained: “If everyone’s dancing, it becomes a sort of baseline. Thus, the dancing goes unrecognized as it fits seamlessly with the tapestry of human behavior around us.”
Dr. Remnington does not see this as an issue. “If anything,” she told Meh, “it means we might be seeing great things from the world of dance in the coming decades. Think about it: if dance becomes basic movement from a young age, who knows what new dance frontiers we could discover.”
As for the validity of this theory, we remain skeptical. What we aren’t skeptical of, though, is the quality of this SyrenPro speaker.
