Beats By Heart

On the Amazon page for this thing, you’ll find the following review from user(s?) “Dennis & Sandy.” (and yes, that period is included in the username):

Works as expected

Cool! Thanks, Dennis and Sandy period! That’s super helpful!

Now, to be clear, we’re only being slightly facetious here. With something like this, that’s all you really want to know. Does it do what it says it does?

Does it quickly and accurately measure your blood oxygen saturation? Does it tell you your beats per minute? Does it work sitting still or while exercising? Is it simple to use and easy to read?

The answer, according not just to our friends Doug and Sandy but also to about a hundred more reviewers on Amazon, appears to be yes.

And that’s great. Really, it is. The only problem? The product isn’t very exciting. Whether or not you want to buy it comes down to:

A. Do you want/need to monitor your heart rate/blood oxygen level? And, if yes, then…

B. Do you not yet have a product to do so?

There’s no real sales pitch there. Furthermore, there’s not much potential for discussion in the comments. So, that leaves us two options: we either have a quiet day on the forums, or we have a lively chat about something totally different.

I say we opt for the latter. Here are a few random topics to get some chatter going.

TOPIC 1: What are some of your favorite recent(ish) middlebrow/low-to-mid-budget thrillers/action movies? This was inspired by the trailer to the film The Last Stop in Yuma County. Not only does it look delightful, but it seems like the sort of movie you really don’t see anymore: not an arthouse movie, nor part of some billion-dollar superhero/mega-action franchise. Just some good old-fashioned grimy shenanigans. Some of my recent faves along these lines include The Outfit, Small Town Crime, and Riders of Justice. What are yours?

TOPIC 2: What are some fun recent half-hour TV shows? Like the above-mentioned middlebrow/mid-budget film, the half-hour television series seems to be a dying breed. Show creators have instead taken the opportunity presented by streaming’s lack of set time slots to churn out bloated episodes of mediocrity. Like, seriously, I enjoy Stranger Things as much as the next nostalgia-addicted millennial, but not every episode needs to be film-length. Meanwhile, shows like Only Murders in the Building and Barry prove you can have a lot of fun in 30 minutes without sacrificing plot or substance. What shorter shows have you been enjoying?

TOPIC 3: What’s your go-to comfort food that doesn’t leave you feeling wildly uncomfortable? Fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, some deep-fried Brussels sprouts, a nice big plate of nachos–it’s like a warm blanket while you’re at the dinner table. But later on, it’s like a hot towel left in your tummy by a clumsy surgeon. And yet, eating healthy doesn’t always have to be kale salads and green smoothies. So what do you eat when you don’t want a gut bomb but also want to, you know, enjoy your food? I’m a fan of roasted spaghetti squash with a nice tomato sauce and some homemade meatballs, myself.

There you have it. Some things to talk about. Of course, you can discuss today’s product if you want to. We’re just giving you some options.