The Dream Steam

Hello, I’m a steampunk guy, and I’m here to tell you: when it comes to getting my garments good and wrinkle-free, there’s no product I trust more than this Sienna Vela Handheld Garment Steamer.

Look, when I roll into a maker faire, it doesn’t matter how perfectly styled my beard is. Nor how diabolical yet stately my suede plum-colored top hat looks upon my head. My goggles? My boots as imposing a locomotives? My R2D2-like robo-assistant made from a prohibition-era whiskey barrel and brass and covered in an excessive array of gages that signify nothing?

It’s all for naught if my three-piece muted cobalt blue paisley-printed suit is wrinkled.

Seriously, just imagine if someone asked me for the time! I’d have to take out my pocket watch that looks like a gear from my wrinkled jacket, and then fetch my green-tinted prescription monocle that also looks like a gear from my wrinkled vest. Why, I’d be laughed right out of the convention hall and sent home in my copper-accented PT Cruiser with my head hung in shame.

Luckily, I don’t have to worry about stuff like that with my Sienna Vela Handheld Garment Steamer.

Its 1200 watt power supply is enough to take care of the most stubborn wrinkles, but I can also switch it to lower power mode if I’m dealing with some of my more delicate costume pieces. And I don’t need to worry about it overheating, thanks to its convenient intelligent auto shutoff feature. Which is to say nothing of the sanitary benefits. A nice burst of hot stream protects your garments from all all sorts of nasty stuff that can accumulate on fabric.

Best of all: it’s very portable! And that’s especially important for me, because a) I attend a number of out-of-town cons and faires throughout the course of each year, and b) I travel long distances exclusively by Zeppelin, where luggage space is very tight.

At any rate, if you need any advice on how to make it look a little more steampunk using tinfoil and reclaimed wood, let me know. In the meantime, I better go and get some things done. After all, my dog made out of a series of antique radio transistors isn’t going to feed rusty bolts to itself, amirite!