Rowkin Bit Charge Stereo Bluetooth Earbuds
- Thanks to Bluetooth technology these can can grab delightful music FROM THE AIR ITSELF.
- As in, whatever you’re playing from your Bluetooth-enabled device.
- WaterSafe nano coating makes 'em IPX5 sweat-proof & water resistant.
- The magnetic charging case powers up your buds 15 times and you can charge your phone with it, too.
- Having trouble with connectivity? Try a factory reset.
- Model: NAAB10AC, NAAC11AA, NAAC12AA To pronounce them correctly, you have to say the A’s like a sheep noise.
I wish I could say that I miss you. Alas, to suffer only a heavy heart would be a great relief! The truth is much worse than that. I write this letter because I am in grave danger, and I fear that I will suffer not death, but something much worse: a living death of sorts.
Yes, “fear”: a word you likely never thought you would see your husband write. For eight months, I cohabited with wild gorillas. For eleven, I roamed with a pack of wolves. For three, I swam with electric eels. I was buried a whole year among the bulldog ants of Australia in an attempt to understand their tunnel structure. Never once, in any of those cases, did I feel even remotely afraid. But none of them compare to this.
Though it may void my contract with the research firm, I will give you the full details of my current assignment: I was sent to integrate myself into a community of EarPod wearers, so that I might discern once and for all what makes them such incredible assholes.
I have, for the last month, been living among them somewhere in the Bay Area in what I believe is an apartment, but also seems to be a concert venue and startup. The startup is focused on an app of some kind but no one here actually programs. They all work as “organic social marketing disruptors” though many also dabble, I’m told, in graphic design. They wear their EarPods always. And so do I.
This is what I mean by a living death, Martha. Since putting the EarPods in, I have begun to have thoughts that seem not to belong to me. At first it was just, PLEASE DONT FALL OUT PLEASE DONT FALL OUT PLEASE DONT FALL OUT PLEASE DONT FALL OUT PLEASE DONT FALL OUT PLEASE DONT FALL OUT on a constant loop. But as I acclimated, I began to think things like It’s too bad the world isn’t as present as me, or My podcast is better than this one, or What idiot called these EarPods instead of Lil’ Listenies? The other day, I thought once again about them falling out, but this time, it was, If these EarPods fall out, what’s going to keep my head from floating away?
Martha, I am losing it. Or: I am losing myself. So please, come quickly. Unfortunately, I am not sure my exact address, so you will have to fly to San Francisco and look for posters for a show we are hosting, featuring a performance by an artist named Transl8. He does electro-folk, as well as politically-conscious trip-hop.
Also, please bring a pair of Rowkin Bluetooth Earbuds. Just as I needed to take measures in order to avoid the bends when I resurfaced after spending those weeks with the angler fish, so must I do the same now. And those Rowkins are stylish, wireless, and way less obnoxious than EarPods. They should return me to myself in no time.