Now all you need is more fingers.

Look, doctor, I didn’t come here for a bioethics lecture. I just need to know: are you going to sew these extra fingers onto my hand or not?I’ve got the donor fingers on ice right here in this styrofoam cooler. What? Of course they’re legal. I bought them myself in Tijuana, where the government doesn’t insist on butting into your private business. Well, I think “abomination” is a strong word. I’m just trying to correct evolution’s mistakes. I mean, look at all that space between the pinky and the wrist. You could fit at least two more fingers and a thumb over there instead of this pointless flat edge. Really dropped the ball on that one, Darwin!Maybe this imperfect hand was acceptable in the pre-MMO age. But now that we have the Razer Anansi gaming keyboard, it’s time to give the human physique a little shove down the evolutionary timeline. It adds 7 thumb modifier keys and 5 gaming macro keys to the existing 100+ keys on a standard keyboard. There’s no way I’m going to work this thing with the same hand structure as a gorilla.So what’s it gonna be, doc? I’m ready. I’ve got the fingers. I can pay. Are you gonna do this operation for me, or do I have to book another trip to Tijuana?