Not rechargeable. Sorry, Earth.

You should buy rechargeable batteries. But you won’t. Because rechargeables are a pain in the ass. And you are lazy.

You don’t need the aggravation. Do you have any charged batteries? Did you remember to put new ones in the charger when you took those? Are those four batteries done charging yet, so you can charge four more? And these batteries just sitting here in the drawer, are those charged or not?

Just buy the maximum quantity of 9 packages of these batteries and forget about it. Four packs of AA and five of AAA adds up to 240 of each battery. Unless you’re still rocking a cassette Walkman or something, that should last you a decade or so (which is how long these batteries are guaranteed to work).

There’s no question rechargeables are the more responsible choice: less waste, fewer toxic chemicals leaking into the environment, and probably more cost-effective for the consumer. You might feel the occasional pang of justified guilt over it. But that’s a small price to pay for freeing your mind from worrying about batteries all the freaking time.

Oh, and yeah, there’s a tiny chance you’ll contribute in some small way to the death of the only planet our kind has ever known. At least your first thought in the morning will never, ever have anything to do with charging batteries. God help us, we think it might be worth it.