Get It Together

Hello. My name is The Air In The Winston House, and I’ve been clean two months.

Those of you been coming to these meetings a while heard my story before. It ain’t so unique. Started off with a little smoke here and there. Then I got onto the dust. Soon enough, I was freebasing pet dander and doing lines of cat hair in broad daylight. Some days, I wouldn’t even eat anything but a handful of allergens and then just ride the wave.

I didn’t think it could happen to me. It ain’t like I’m in one of the houses they rent to college kids near the university. The Winstons are upstanding people. Mrs. Winston’s a physician’s assistant, Mr. Winston works in marketing, two daughters in middle school, a dog, a cat, a guinea pig. A good family is what I mean. Do they let things slide occasionally, what with their busy lives? Sure. But who doesn’t?

Then they went on vacation for a week, and as soon as they get home, literally the first thing one of the girls says is, “What stinks in here?” That was when I knew I might have a problem. After that, I started to notice things. The mom looking at the hardwood floor in a sunbeam, grimacing at all the stuff that’d settled there. Or a daughter saying, “Is someone frying bacon?” three whole days after the last time bacon had been fried.

But even then, I didn’t want to face the facts. It’s winter, I told myself. Spring’s gonna roll in, the windows are gonna open, and I’m gonna get my act together. And sure enough, I did. For a time. Then, boom, heatwave. Windows close, air conditioning comes on, and I’m right back to my bullshit.

All the sudden, though, things changed. Mrs. Winston got a package from some deal website. She opened it and what was inside? A Partu BS-08 True HEPA Air Purifier with Night Light. She set that thing up in a corner, and just like that, my whole life improved. Well, not my whole life. But 160 square feet of my life, for sure.

The Partu taught me how to be my best self. It took me under its wing and helped filter out 99.97% of the bad stuff–the odors, the dander, the smoke, just about everything bigger than 0.3 microns. And I hate to sound vain, but it made me beautiful again. Like I could finally look at myself in the mirror. Only I actually couldn’t. Because I’m air.

Anyway, that’s my story. I got clean with the help of a Partu BS-08 True HEPA Air Purifier with Night Light.

Thanks for letting me share, and thanks for listening.