PALM Cooler with Brand Ambassador Kit
- First off, you get a PALM cooler. That part’s simple enough.
- Beyond that, you also get a PALM foam pad, a PALM Bottle opener, a PALM tie down kit for your car, and a PALM trucker hat or visor.
- You don’t get to choose the hat or the visor; it’s random.
- Maybe if you want a hat but get a visor, you can trade with someone on the forums?
- Or… maybe you won’t care that much.
- Oh, also, if you’ve decided to go all in with PALM and need that bottle opener, or tumblers, or koozies, or you have to have every trucker hat and visor, we’ve got a whole other event over going on at MorningSave
- Model: You seriously think there’s a model number for cooler-foampad-bottleopener-tiedownkit-trucker-hat? Well, I guess there is now.
Face PALM
Hello, millennials! Funny to find you here, at this coffee shop in close proximity to a variety of local start-ups. What’s crackling, as they say! Mind if I pull up my PALM foam pad and join this hashtag bongo circle?
Ha, no, despite sporting this fashionable PALM hat, I am not an employee of the wonderful company! I’m just another twenty-to-thirtysomething like yourselves, who prefers innovative marketing techniques over the traditional print and video ads. I mean, really, who has time for commercials on platforms such as YouTube. People don’t want to see something. They want an experience. That’s what the fox says, in my book!
Say, I’m really enjoying all your company. I know we’ve just met, but I feel a camaraderie with you that I imagine is common among longtime podcast co-hosts. Shall we toast this new friendship with a few brewskis? I have some here in my PALM cooler. Pretty cool, isn’t it? It appears neat and vintage yet also modern, and as blocky as many of the pixelated stones you might see in FortCraft. I brought it all the way over here from my loft in the cool neighborhood which I won’t name because we all know what it is. I attached it to my shared car by way of the PALM tie down kit.
Here, beers for everyone! They’re pale ales, from India, and they’re brewed with hops, I’m told. You can open them with my PALM bottle opener.
Oh, what a delight: we are joined by the barista. I am familiar with many baristas, as a typical millennial. In fact, I have many of the same tattoos, under this suit from Brooks Brothers. What’s that you say, sir? We are not allowed to drink beers in this establishment? Ha! Well, this fellow is a regular Leroy Jerkins! Certainly, you must be joking?
Alas, new friends, it appears he is not. In fact, judging by the conversation he’s just had on the phone, it sounds as though the police are on the way. But as a token with which to remember our brief and fleeting relationship, please take this printed out QR codes that, when scanned, will lead you through the steps to purchase a PALM cooler.
At any rate, good bye. It has come time for me to swipe left out of here, as they say. I mean, as we say.
