Microfiber Comforter
- “Microfiber shell with a polyester fill” sounds like a lyric from a terrible hip hop song
- Medium weight for medium temperatures (this feature brought to you by Medium. Medium: It’s in the middle)
- Life hack: two medium blankets make a heavy blanket
- Compartments keep the fill from clumping, and look neat
- Colors:Khaki, Ivory, Blue, or Chocolate (sorry, no Brick, Wood, Rock, Wheat or Sheep to trade)
- Sizes: Twin, Full/Queen, King (no lesser gentry sizes like Duke or Baron)
- Model: none (So let’s make some up: MFC-60000 sounds pretty intimidating. 1A-ur5-CCBLNKT follows the traditional nonsense, hyphen-happy approach. B0145 looks nice but won’t stand out in searches.)
Blanket Statements
“Hey. Hey. Hey Steph, wake up. Sorry.”
“Nggh?”
“So sorry to bother you. So sorry. Do you have an extra blanket? It got a little cold in the guest room.”
“Oh … sure. Let’s see … here you go.”
“Hm, OK. Do you have something a little lighter? Again: So sorry to bother you.”
“Lighter?”
“Yeah, this is a big down comforter, which is great for the winter, but it’s not that cold in there.”
“OK. Fine. How about this?”
“Ehhhh, that seems a little too lightweight. Do you have an extra microfiber comforter? That would be perfect. Though I really hate to bother you.”
“No, I don’t have a microfiber comforter.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“How about a macrofiber comforter?”
“Macrofiber? What even is that?”
“I don’t know but it’s probably real. Do you have one?”
“No.”
“Wow, good thing this isn’t an Airbnb or I’d have to knock off a few stars.”
“Catherine, I’m letting you stay here for free.”
“At the risk of bothering you, can I brew a pot of coffee and explain the benefits of microfiber for springtime temperatures? Future guests will thank you.”
“Coffee? What time is it?”
“5:30am”
“OK, fine."
“Fine? I actually prefer coarse-ground coffee. If it isn’t a bother.”
-
Microfiber Comforter 53
-
Ask Irk: Great Socks? 20
-
What is your current bedding situation? 32
-
The IRS is Keeping Me Prisoner 44 -
Brian Wilson, The Texas Law Hawk, The Talons of Justice, America's Loudest Lawyer, has a new commercial 10 -
Need Cat Videos 52 -
HA! I knew it. Night owls are mutants! 17 -
United Airlines Training Video 0