Meh Face Pillows
- There are two of them: one in black, one in white, both not really that into your idea for a screenplay
- The only product guaranteed to be as unimpressed with you as you are with them
- Polyester? More like Poly-meh-ster, amirite?!
- Pillows model correct response to previous bullet point
- Model: R05EMEHR4RY5B4BY
Let Me Clear Meh Throat
Friends! It seems only fitting that I use this 2-pack of Meh Face Pillows to introduce myself, the new word-face of Meh.com while @skemmis is away. Or, part-time word-face. @Matthew still does some of them.
Anyway, hello. I am @dseanadams, coming to you live from an undisclosed capitol city in Iowa. You may recognize me from such ecommerce sites as Woot.com a long time ago, or the Meh forums more recently. During my long absence from writing about speaker docks and home security systems, I published some short stories and earned an MFA from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. Which is why every write-up from now on will be very serious and heart-breaking. As an example, for these pillows I might do something like:
Rusty couldn’t tell if it was the smoke of his cigarette that clouded the room, or if his eyes had finally given up their pursuit of small details. He was a quitter, just like his father had been, so why should he expect anything more from his vision?
He finished his whiskey in one gulp. It burned and for that he loved it. Nothing else could make him feel. He tried to stand but couldn’t, fell back into the couch, his head landing comfortably on his Meh Face Pillows. It was like staring into a mirror. He wondered: when was the last time he’d truly smiled? Before the accident? No, Rusty thought. That didn’t count. He’d been a different man then.
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I’ll save this for my forthcoming novel, Portrait Of An Artist As A Neutral-Faced Pillow. At any rate, I’m excited, after years away, to finally be back making dumb jokes about products that most people probably don’t want.
In conclusion, I have a dog.
