Too late It’s over

iTouch Explorer 3 Smartwatch

Comes in a variety of cool-looking colors
Get notifications, weather updates, and snap pictures from afar
Track sleep, heart rate, steps, calories burned, exercise, water intake, and more
Connected GPS provides workout stats such as route & pace information
Works with Android & iPhone
Can it make a margarita: No, but it can tell you when it’s 5 o’clock somewhere! (Because it is still a watch)

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Some people can just decide they want to do something and do it.

They’ll say, “I need to drink more water,” and they’ll just start drinking more water. Or they’ll say, “I want to move more,” and they’ll just start moving more. Or they’ll say, “I should start running,” and they’ll just start running, increasing their distance each time they go out, until, one day, you scroll past their marathon photos on social media.

These are probably also the people who you see on TV saying things like, “After a decade as the top-paid corporate lawyer, I decided to start cooking. And now, just two years after I made my first plate of food ever, I’m the chef and owner of a Michelin-star restaurant.” Or the kind of people who, when you confess, a week into your diet that you’re really jonesing for some cheddar and sour cream potato chips, look at you funny and say, “Why don’t you just eat three grapes and a mini rice cake to tide yourself over?”

What we’re getting at is this: if you aren’t one of these people, you shouldn’t try and be one of these people.

And so when you decide to do something like drink more water, or take more steps each day, or start running, you can’t just make a proclamation and hope you follow through. No, you need to set concrete goals. And what’s more, you need to monitor yourself. You need to turn your life into an RPG, where you see clear numerical evidence of your character (you) leveling up in the areas of hydration, step-taking, and jogging.

That’s what this thing is for.

Well, actually, it’s for a whole bunch more than that. You can do all the basic smartwatch stuff: get notifications and weather updates, set alarms, snap pictures remotely, etc. But one thing it’s especially great for is monitoring your health. We’re talking steps, heart rate, calories burned, exercises completed, and yes, even water intake.

So buy one today, and follow through on your goals the only way you know how: by guilting yourself into it and/or pretending your life is a video game. And leave the effortless self-improvement to all those super-driven people out there, those friggin’ assholes.

iTouch Explorer 3 Smartwatch

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