Hugo By Hugo Boss Sunglasses
- You like the sun
- The sun does not like you
- That’s why we’re selling sunscreen
- Wait, no: sunglasses
- We’re selling sunglasses
- Model: 83-8055Y
Totally Boss
“Whoa! Those are some boss sunglasses, Hugo! What kind are they?”
“These? They’re Hugo Boss!”
“Oh, cool.”
“…”
“What?”
“I just kinda thought… you were setting us up for some vaudevillian thing.”
“Vaudevillian thing?”
“Yeah, like I’d say, ‘They’re Hugo Boss,’ and you’d say, ‘I know they’re boss, Hugo! But what kind are they?’”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t really make sense. ‘They’re Hugo Boss’? Why would anyone say that unless they were talking about the famous brand, Hugo Boss?”
“But you started it! You said the word ‘boss’ first!”
“You know, this is the thing with you, Hugo. You’re always so desperate to turn everything into a ‘fun scene’ in your mind that you barely live your life. This is why Janine left. Because she got tired of all this.”
“Uh, hello? Janine left to take a two-year balloon trip around the world so she could spread the ashes of her late beloved aunt one teaspoon at a time.”
“Is that what she’s been telling you?”
“No! It’s what she told me before she left. She hasn’t been telling me anything because, at the altitude the balloon travels, there’s no cell service.”
“Janine moved to Boston, Hugo! She’s dating an engineering PhD at MIT.”
“What? You mean she’s not fulfilling her Auntie Liv’s desire to travel? A desire that Liv put off for the entirety of her own life so that she could take care of her family?”
“No! Of course not! I saw Liv at the grocery store yesterday. She told me she’d just gotten back from a trip to Turks and Caicos.”
“Wow. I’m… so hurt.”
“Aww, jeez, I’m sorry, Hugo. I got carried away. I shouldn’t have told you like that.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. It was shitty of me. C’mon, man. How can I make it up to you?”
“Well… you could… go along with the bit.”
“Really, that’s what you want?”
“More than anything right now.”
“Okay, fine. From the top: Whoa! Those are some boss sunglasses, Hugo! What kind are they?”
“These? They’re Hugo Boss!”
“I know they’re boss, Hugo! But what kind are they?”
“Silly, I just told you! They’re Hugo Boss!”
This conversation started in 1996. And legend has it, if you put your ear to the wind at just the right angle, you can still hear it going today!
