Hamilton Beach: An Appliance Musical

ONE NIGHT ONLY! The historical hip-hop stage sensation that’s taking America’s kitchens by storm: Hamilton Beach!

See and hear the ORIGINAL CAST bring history to life in this DAZZLING SPECTACLE about the founding fathers of an American appliance company! And also they rap!

Frederick J. Osius:
My dear Mr. Hamilton, my dear Mr. Beach
I shall pay you the sum of a thousand bucks each
For the use of your most mellifluous names
For my company, because “Osius” sounds pretty lame

Just LISTEN to what critics and theatergoers are saying about Hamilton Beach: An Appliance Musical!

Theatergoer: “Just what the late night coffee drinker ordered!”

Critic: “SUPERB”

THRILL to the rap battles that threatened to tear this young country apart, between full-pot Federalists and single-cup Republicans! Did we mention they rap?

Hamilton:
Each state brewing their own coffee?
That cannot stand! It’ll be anarchy!
We need a strong central pot! Step off, fool!
Or we’re gonna have to settle this with a duel!
Beach:
Forcing free men to drink from one pot
Is just the kind of tyranny the Revolution fought!
The question must be settled now, today
No coffeemaker can do it both ways!
Hamilton: Can we?
Beach: Can’t we?
Hamilton: Should we?
Beach: Shan’t we?
Hamilton: Dare I say -
Beach: Can it be -
Hamilton: Unity!
Beach: Unity!
Hamilton & Beach (unison): WEEE CAN DOOOO IT BOTH WAAAAAAYS!

Hamilton Beach is the most entertaining, most ambitious, most ALL-AMERICAN hip-hop musical about a coffeemaker EVER PRODUCED!

Critic: “Exactly what we needed!”

Theatergoer: “Can you see me giving a HIGH FIVE. And Dancing around my Kitchen.?? Yes it made me that HAPPY.” (sic)

Get your tickets NOW for this very LIMITED ENGAGEMENT of Hamilton Beach: An Appliance Musical! It’s HOT!