Great Bay Home 15lb Reversible Weighted Blanket
- Want a soft, comfortable weight on top of you at night, not unlike a cat?
- If the cat were spread out evenly and didn’t attempt to remove you from the bed?
- And didn’t wake you up at 5 AM for breakfast while you’re comfy in bed?
- This blanket’s for you.
- Model: WH800088, WH800089, WH800090. Like a very big owl beast or something.
Weight of Circumstance
This weighted blanket thing, I don’t really get it.
I mean, sure, a lot of people enjoy having a bit of weight on them when trying to sleep, makes things comfier. Definitely am not opposed to it being in the form of a blanket. You can only deal with sleeping under sacks of potatoes for so long, and those are perishable.
When you think of having a weight on you while you sleep, though, you can’t help but think of night terrors and sleep paralysis, right? Am I right? Of course I’m right.
See, sleep paralysis is this half-awake, half-dreaming state where it feels as though you’ve got your eyes open and some semblance of awareness. Only thing is, you can’t move, like there’s a weight on your chest, but you can see some wild shit. I kid you not, 99% of bogeymen are probably from this phenomenon. The other 1% is Mothman, but he is both real and my friend.
So with a weighted blanket, I feel you’re just inviting this sort of thing in.
Then again, it’s only 15 lbs, so instead of a bogeyman, it’d probably be, I don’t know, a modestly sized cat? Like a big, soft Norwegian Forest cat! Which now that I think about it, that isn’t that bad.
Yeah. You know what, I actually like the sound of that. That’s probably why these things help reduce anxiety.
If you want to sleep under a cat other than the one you own, one that will not kick you out of the bed or drool, this is the thing for you, I guess.
