It's almost the cheapest!

We’ve long been advocates of the maxim “when in doubt, buy the second cheapest.” It’s such a widespread practice that restaurants have started gaming it, often slapping an extra markup on the second cheapest wine, so that it may have cost them even less than a bottle of the cheapest wine on the menu.

So we’ve revised that a little bit: buy the best one that’s almost the cheapest. Start with the cheapest, angle your gaze upwards a little bit, and pick your favorite from those clustered around the next highest price tier.

The GoGroove Bluetooth Tower Speaker isn’t the best at any price. It isn’t the cheapest. But it’s fine for what it does and it’s almost the cheapest. It hasn’t cut every single corner possible in the production of cheap portable Bluetooth speakers. Just almost every corner.

The GoGroove Bluetooth Tower proves that the quality leap from bottom to middle of the barrel is a big one. Its specs aren’t the best, but they’re better than the absolute cheapest: 40mm drivers, 6 hours of life on a charge, 30-foot Bluetooth range. It’s decently loud - again, louder than the cheapest.

The best thing about it is probably its tall, skinny form, a shape that has been curiously neglected in the portable speaker market. If this would make it easier to fit in your picnic basket or saddlebag or that awkward leftover dead space on your kitchen counter, that’s worth an extra couple of bucks, right?

Sigh… must be nice to get away with being “almost the cheapest.” We sure can’t. If we weren’t the absolute cheapest online store, all the time, we’d die. Why bother jumping through our stupid midnight hoop if you could buy this stuff somewhere else for less? We’ll never make a living on our sparkling personalities.