100% BTTF-Free

Tired of being bombarded with Back to the Future II? Are you seeking a refuge from one more comparison of Marty McFly’s hoverboard with the so-called hoverboards of today? Have you had it up to here with cutesy stories about the Chicago Cubs?

Welcome, friend. This is the one place on the Internet that will not be indulging in wall-to-wall winking and nudging about the weakest of the Back to the Future movies.

This is a safe space where you’re free to linger without being triggered by graphic images of flux capacitors. You won’t hear us call Marty’s JVC techno-specs “the original Google Glass”. We won’t be indulging in any speculation about the Ortho-Lev machine.

And we certainly will not chuckle about how the filmmakers failed to anticipate email or smartphones, instead imagining futuristic payphones and fax machines on every streetcorner. Not here. Not today.

Enjoy this mystery fukubukuro bag of junk ‘n’ stuff free of any taint of Back to the Future II. No 1.21 gigawatts in the specs list. No Pepsi Perfect in the product image. No “The Power of Love” rickroll. Where we’re going, you don’t need those jokes.