The Right Fool For The Job

You want this so bad? Make it your own damn self.

That’s right, Do-It-Yourself culture has never been hotter, and we’re ready to cash in. Customers seem to love the satisfaction of crafting their own goods, and companies love selling people raw materials with “DIY” stamped on them for twice the price.

Never ones to say “no” to easy money, we’re now selling the first ever build-your-own Fukobukuro! Instead of receiving a bag of worthless odds-and-ends assembled by our expensive warehouse workers, you’ll put together your own collection of stupid shit (for more money) (and there isn’t really even a bag)! How cool!

Build-your-own Fuko is just the beginning. Starting today, all of our products will be sold in their raw material form, giving you the opportunity to put a personal stamp on each one. No more electronics at obscene “assembled” prices, just raw plastic, silicon, aluminum, and conductive wiring.

We’ll even let you build and manage your own customer support and software development teams. Skip the e-commerce middle-man (us) who charges for tasks you could easily handle yourself. Our 400-page “How to Meh” guide will give you all the tools you need to manage your own inventory system, draft interstate legal agreements, and even write your own product descriptions, all for only $129.99! That’s a steal when you consider the savings you’ll accrue with your very own Meh site.

All set? Don’t need us anymore? Great! We finally escaped the damn retail business once and for all. Anyone have a smoke?