ELWN Endure, Flight & FIT Bluetooth Earbuds
- We’ve got a pair for you, regardless of your New Ear(bud)s Resolution?
- Eh? Pretty good, right?
- For $24, you get the ELWN Endure Bluetooth wireless sports earbuds, which will last for 9 hours with one charge but do have a wire connecting the two buds.
- For $34, you get the ELWN Flight true wireless bluetooth sport earbuds, which are actually wireless and last for about 3 hours on a charge.
- For $44, you get the ELWN FIT true wireless bluetooth sport earbuds, which come with an infinity band (that does not add an infinite charge, but does add about 3-4 hours).
- For more than $44, you get something we don’t sell here.
- Model: ELWNENDU, ELWNFLIG, ELWNFITB. BUT WHICH IS WHICH?!?!
Tiers For Ears
We know, we know. It’s New Years Eve. You’ve gotta get the bubbly and set out the charcuterie and buy the noisemakers, plastic champagne glasses, and masks for everyone to wear for The Annual Ritual.
But we need to talk to you about earbuds. Because that’s what we’re selling today–bluetooth earbuds. And friends, we want you to choose the right pair. That’s why we’ve built for you something we call:
The Tiers For Ears On New Years
We’re going to run through a few price points, and tell you what you get. Let’s start at the bottom:
$0
In this tier, you spend nothing and you get nothing. Or, maybe if you’re lucky, your roommate cleans out his desk and finds a few pairs of old earbuds that came with his various Sansas over the years, and he gives a pair to you. They probably won’t be bluetooth, and they definitely won’t be comfortable.
$5-$15
This is the “pharmacy earbuds” tier, the kind you can grab in a pinch at your local CVS without even having to flag down someone with a key. Again, probably not bluetooth, definitely not comfortable.
$24
Now we’re talking: for $24, you can get the ELWN Endure wireless bluetooth sport earbuds. You get 9 hours of playback, IPX3 Rated Water Resistant Casing to protect them from your sweat, and one slight exaggeration: even though they don’t plug into a headphone jack, they’re not technically wireless; they have a wire that connects the two buds together.
$34
We’ve arrived at the tier for the ELWN Flight true wireless bluetooth sport earbuds. These are truly wireless. They also don’t last as long, about 3 hours. So maybe not a great pair for running a marathon, unless you’re like an Olympian. (I have no idea what a good marathon time is.)
$44
We are getting into the upper stratosphere (of stuff we’ll sell). These are the ELWN FIT true wireless bluetooth sport earbuds with an “Infinity Band,” which is a bit of an exaggeration, as it adds an extra 3-4 hours of playtime, rather than, you know, a never-ending charge.
$160+
IDK, real AirPods? Which are different from EarPods, something this copywriter only realized, like, 20 minutes ago. And you know why? Because that’s not what we do here. We’re not going to lie and tell you that these are “just as good” as some high end product. If you want premium earbuds, go elsewhere. These ELWNs aren’t about that life. They’re for people who need decent wireless earbuds on a budget (or, should I say… a bud-get? Eh?).
So, there you have it: our Tiers For Ears On New Years. Now, buy the pair that best suits you, grab your ceremonial cloak, and hit the town! And don’t forget to be safe tonight.
