Ella Jayne Hotel Comforters
- Sleep like the gentleman in room 302
- Microfiber on the outside, polyester on the inside
- 220 thread count, for those of you who count the threads
- Model: CF002120A, and it’s reluctant to share the Google results with anybody
Hotel Room, You’re The Real Comforter
What clever marketing, to call a comforter a “hotel comforter”! Everybody loves sleeping in hotels.
But… are hotels known for their excellent bedclothes? One supposes they might be durable, in an institutional way. They have to hold up to more frequent laundering than their average household counterparts. But that’s true of prison flatware too, which hasn’t garnered it any prestige in the retail space.
I’ve only ever looked upon a rental bed’s sheets and blankets with suspicion. What tawdry couplings transacted across these textiles? And how thoroughly sanitized have they been since?
But while I never fail to contemplate the many, many, many various and terrible ways in which previous guests must have defiled the comforter in my hotel room, in the end my sleep is never troubled much by them. In hotels, I sleep like a used bookstore’s old-ass resident dog. That’s due to the one special, relaxing feature common to all hotel rooms, and it ain’t the linens:
My problems are mostly outside.
That bathroom? Not my job to clean. The floor? Un-strewn with my children’s toys. Virtually every trivial-but-unresolved item on the mental to-do list that low-grade nags at me all day, every day of my life? Hundreds of miles away. Nothing to be done about it from here.
In the hotel, there’s nothing to do but marvel at how many superhero TV shows there are now, and get your much-needed sleep. Your everyday life and its hassles are far away, and — unless you checked in on the lam — not getting any closer while you snore the night away.
It would take a pretty shabby comforter to counteract the restfulness of that situation. And this here is no shabby comforter. Does it resemble one you might find in a hotel? Who cares? As long as you sleep under it less like your stressed-out home self, and more like your carefree hotel self.
