It might blow you away.

Sometimes it takes a minute to get everyone on the same page here at Meh HQ. Let’s eavesdrop a bit, shall we? Here we can jump right into the conversation about today’s deal as procurement tries to get marketing to follow along with how selling things works.

“…just two hundred and ninety-nine dollars.”

…

…

“Excuse me, what?”

…

A simple enough proposal, a daily deal offer of deep discounts on a pricy fan for anyone willing to both pony up the cash and field the inevitable unusual purchase alert from their credit card company following a $299 transaction on meh.com.

But still. The offer…the number…hung in the air like a funk in the tastefully austere boardroom.

…

“Can we do that? That’s like, Xbox kinda money.”

…

The premise was bold, but simple. An unusually high price tag in the context of typical meh.com fare like Bluetooth hair dryers and semi-expired baby food, yet also an actual fucking steal compared to what these things go for in the real world.

We’re talking about a $650 fan here. Dyson markets them with targeted ads featuring coupons for $200 off. Since when can you save $200 on a fan? It’s like the other day when we got a Panera Bread coupon for $5 off of a sandwich. There should not be $5 worth of room to negotiate on the price of a tuna melt, you artisanally-crafted asswipes.

…

“Like, not the high-end Xbox, but for sure the one with—”

“—STOP MENTIONING XBOXES.”

…

Of course, the real question here isn’t whether getting a $600+ fan for $299 is a good deal. Strictly from a market dynamics point of view, it obviously is.

…

“…maybe. Maybe we could do this. What if you pay the $300 and you get your fan but you ALSO get some sort of—”

“No no no! This is a ridiculously high-end product that people pay so much damn money for. We need to get our heads around just accepting a fair price for good stuff."

“This does not compute.”

…

So no, the question isn’t whether it’s worth it on the open market. The question is whether fancy fans have actually become so advanced that they can be a legitimately good value compared to, for example, their $20 box fan counterparts. (Or, you know, two dozen box fan counterparts…)

And it turns out that they are.

Because this isn’t just a fan. It’s also an air purifier. That is a huge (and pricy) distinction that really makes this thing stand out against fans that just blow air around. It’s going to actively identify and capture all sorts of airborne particles, ruthlessly entombing them inside the device thanks to it’s super legit HEPA filtration.

Plus while fans circulate air and air purifiers typically kind of just sit there, having a combination of the two unlocks the ability to round up all the stuff bouncing around your place and filter it properly, even if it’s waaaaaaaay over there on the other side of the room.

…

“So it’s a legitimate health product and not bougie nonsense for people with too much money!”

“Oh it can be both, let’s not go nuts here guys.”

…

Seriously, that purification bit matters. Approximately half of the pleasant smells you encounter in your house are actually carcinogenic cocktails that you probably shouldn’t be breathing in the first place.

New carpet smell? That’s formaldehyde.

Cleaning products that always take you back to childhood? Mostly benzene.

Your sweet old dog? Oh, you mean Ol’ Dander Bomb, aggravator of allergies?

Kind of like investing in halfway decent food to put into your body or household supplies that aren’t made of literal poison, getting a proper air purifier into the mix at home can be a staggeringly good investment when it comes to health and well being.

…

“Oh so we can be like goop.com!”

“This is not like goop.com.”

“So like Joe Rogan’s podcast then.”

“That’s just Goop for dudes. Please let’s move on.”

…

Look, we know it’s time to wrap this up, and the only reason we’re still at it is out of respect for the uncharacteristically steep asking price on this particular deal. But either way, we’ll just close out with a fun stat from Dyson’s (very fancy and aesthetically pleasing) website: 82 percent of reviewers of this fan would recommend it to a friend.

Honestly? Our first reaction was that 82 percent isn’t actually that high of a number when it comes to something as allegedly amazing as this. But then we realized that to recommend this product from Dyson’s website, you’d have to both (1) admit that you spent $650 on a fan in the first place and (2) have a friend or acquaintance who would be receptive to a new-car-payment-sized price tag on a fairly random luxury good.

With that in mind, 82 percent is pretty damn solid.

Of course, once you score yours for just under three hundred bucks, you can sing it from the rooftops.