We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Cuisinart SmartPower 350W Blending System (Refurbished)

  • It blends! It chops! It… uh… yeah, that’s pretty much it
  • 32-ounce blending jar, 8-ounce chopping cup, four 16-ounce to-go cups
  • Nice and compact for those without infinite counter space
  • It’s all BPA-free, duh
  • Also, dishwasher-safe and otherwise not a tremendous pain in the ass to clean
  • Model: CPB-300FR
see more product specs

SmartPower? Dumb name.

Well, Cuisinart, at least you’ve convinced us we’re not paying extra for a creative name. “SmartPower Blending System”? More like SmartPower Blanding System, amirite?

Let’s see here. You go to the trouble of creating a compact blender powerful enough to pulverize ice and veggies and fruits with equal ease. You add a chopping cup and some to-go cups for even more versatility. You even make sure the motor isn’t too loud. Then you take the product of all that hard work and saddle it with a name that sounds like a dollar-store surge protector.

You know your competition here is called the Magic Bullet, right? It’s snappy, it’s memorable, it lends itself to a distinctive product shape. It’s going to take more than “SmartPower” (we feel like we get dumber every time we say it) to get people to buy your blending/chopping/to-go-cups set, even at the rock-bottom price we’re offering.

So, gratis and free of charge, here are some name suggestions for giving this steak some sizzle:

Radioactive Cylinder: Plays on the cylindrical shape and the primal, widespread fear of nuclear catastrophe to really lodge in the ol’ memory bank.

Tooth of the Basilisk: Hype those razor-sharp blades with a name that no self-respecting D&D player will be able to refuse. Every smoothie becomes an epic adventure!

Deus ex Machine: Similar meaning to “Magic Bullet”, but smarter because it’s in French or German or whatever that is.

Blend Ops: Rogue Pulse: Most of your money will be made on the videogame tie-ins. Variety reports that Terry Crews and Bradley Cooper have been linked to the movie.

Chop ‘n’ Blend ‘n’ Pour ‘n’ Go NOW!: Fun! Apostrophes ‘n’ exclamation points are fun!

The Whirlyblur: Actually, never mind, we like this one. We’re keeping it for when we invent our own blender.

Steel Thunder Fist Hammer Tornado Punch Warrior: When in doubt, you can never go wrong with a meaningless string of macho babble

What about you, vox populi? Tell us what you’d call this blender in the forum. Don’t be shy. Your idea literally cannot possibly be worse than SmartPo- ugh. Don’t make us say it again.

So far today...

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And you bought...

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  • We sold out at 1:19pm.
  • That’s $13325 total.
  • (including shipping)

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