C. Wonder Bag Bundles

  • One is a tote.
  • The other is tote-ally a pouch.
  • We’re aware how bags work, right?
  • Model: CW0004. Which is also what it looks like when you start to shout ‘Cool’ but then just decide to cheer instead. With a 4 at the end.
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Observational Humor

In 1997, the great comedy writer Ian Terrance Gould was driving home from the studio where his sitcom, Nun Better, about the wacky goings-on of a seminary, was being filmed, when he came to a stoplight beside a truck carrying a dangerous experimental quick-freezing chemical. As the oft-told story goes, the tank just happened to spring a leak at that moment, and the roof just happened to be down on Ian’s convertible, and so he was rendered into a block of ice almost instantly.

The part of the story that many don’t know involves Ian’s sister, Gillian Audrey Gould, a renowned computer scientist and neurologist. When Gillian arrived at the hospital where Ian’s frozen body was being held, she immediately went to work testing for signs of brainwaves–which, though faint, she did find–and then, from there, writing a program that she could use to essentially download Ian’s mind onto a hard drive.

This was then used to create a comedy writing AI, known as I.An, that lived on a PC in Gillian’s house in Silicon Valley. When she left her high-paying job with Oracle to start her own tech company, though, she had to downsize and so some things went into a storage locker, including the aforementioned computer. And when her startup faltered, she ceased paying her unit’s rental fees.

That’s where we come in. We won the bidding war for the storage locker, and thus ascertained the computer housing I.An.

And today we’re going to use it for the first time in nearly twenty years! For what, you ask? To write about these C. Wonder Bag Bundles, of course! What will I.An say about these stylish tote-and-pouch bundles? What witty quip will it have when confronted with the many exciting patterns? What sly observation will it make about the simple, elegant all-black design?

We’re going to find out right now! We’ve run the program and here comes the reading:

Bigger bag to smaller bag: I shall call you ‘mini me.’

Hmm… might need to run some updates.

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