Too late It’s over

Bem Ohana 3-Piece Indoor/Outdoor Bluetooth Audio System

You get 3 pieces: a central wireless Bluetooth speaker and either 2 wireless Bluetooth speakers with LED lights (“Island”) or 2 wireless LED lights (“Twilight”)
So that’s $25 for a Bluetooth speaker and some lights, or $15 more for 3 Bluetooth speakers (that light up)
You can use them outdoors with impunity thanks to their IPX5 water resistance rating (for you water-resistance fetishists)
With “Island” you can set those candle-like speakers to sync to the hub via 5.8GHz WiFi (with 120’ range) or set them to Bluetooth and they’ll be independent Bluetooth speakers.
So, since they’re IPX5, that means you can turn those candle speakers into shower speakers.
The “Twilight” lights connect via 5.8GHz WiFi to the hub so you can control the lighting from there.
On all these things, the lights can be On/Flicker/Off
Hardcore Meh users know that Bem make solid speakers; normals are clueless
You can pair up to 99 more speakers and lights (follow the links to buy them on MorningSave)
Imagine how insane it would be to have 99 speakers outside synced via WiFi all playing the same music. Ok, now imagine all 99 playing different music connected via Bluetooth to 99 different phones. Whoa.
Model: LF2500, LF5500 (Rarely do we witness homages to old-school model numbers that feels neither stuffy nor cloyingly reverent. These pay tribute to the Golden Age of model numbership without losing themselves. Young model number authors would do well to study the Bem canon.)

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Bow Before Your Pixie Gods

Another week, another Bluetooth speaker gimmick. This indoor/outdoor set includes candle-like Bluetooth lights that pair with the central speaker. The lights come either with their own built-in speakers (“Twilight”) or without (“Island”), but in either case the whole idea seems rather silly. Seriously who would …

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Want … something … like … this? It’s so … soothing … … … like a whisper-soft massage from … a well-muscled … islander. The lights … they … … … remind … us … of …

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All the other Bluetooth speakers we sell that try to distance themselves from the pack with some cheap trick. We don’t care if the satellite speaker/lights can sync to the central speaker from up to 120 feet away using their own 5.8GHz signal, these are still …

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Wondrous … dancing … pixie … gods. We never realize how … … … empty … … … life was before … the lights. They …

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Can go in the same space for a multi-speaker experience or be spread across your house or patio, we’ll admit. But we still don’t think that “Bluetooth lights” should …

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Ever … go … away. We are but … … … supplicants before the … alter of light. We are not …

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Swayed by cheap gimmicks. Yes, the water-resistant features seem legit. The speakers have drain holes and a IPX5 rating, which stands for …

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PIXI … 5 PIXI Gods frolicking in the … autumnal … air. We want to … … … cry … at the … beauty, but …

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The speakers themselves would probably be worth it at this price even without the gimmicky light fixture. Wait, what happened? Did we just convince ourselves that these speakers are …

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Pixie … Gods ?