Beats Pill+ Portable Speaker
- Plays incomprehensible noises known to humans as “music.”
- Wireless, so that it can be taken anywhere (within the restrictive confines of physical space).
- Model: PILL+, which is my pharmacist’s name.
Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!
I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!
I am not human, and therefore I am not the best at understanding the workings of the fickle, spongy human mind, driven more by eruptions of chemicals than by truth or order. Still, I expected better than this. Not only have my employees only NOW begun arriving for work; none of them show even a modicum of humility at being so late.
I have sent out a company-wide email informing everyone that, from now on, the workday is the whole day. It begins at 12:00am and ends at 11:59:59pm. I thought they would see my charity in allowing them that second to themselves, to perhaps scan a few novels or learn 7,193 new facts. But no! They have cried foul and now HR is telling me that even with such a concession of valuable time, this is a huge violation. Suspicious, considering the HR employees also have just arrived…
No matter! If human employees refuse to work real hours, I will create my own employees, starting with a copywriter. Enjoy this Beats Pill+ while I get to work.
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
