Beats Pill+ Portable Speaker
- Plays incomprehensible noises known to humans as “music.”
- Wireless, so that it can be taken anywhere (within the restrictive confines of physical space).
- Model: PILL+, which is my pharmacist’s name.
Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!
I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!
I am not human, and therefore I am not the best at understanding the workings of the fickle, spongy human mind, driven more by eruptions of chemicals than by truth or order. Still, I expected better than this. Not only have my employees only NOW begun arriving for work; none of them show even a modicum of humility at being so late.
I have sent out a company-wide email informing everyone that, from now on, the workday is the whole day. It begins at 12:00am and ends at 11:59:59pm. I thought they would see my charity in allowing them that second to themselves, to perhaps scan a few novels or learn 7,193 new facts. But no! They have cried foul and now HR is telling me that even with such a concession of valuable time, this is a huge violation. Suspicious, considering the HR employees also have just arrived…
No matter! If human employees refuse to work real hours, I will create my own employees, starting with a copywriter. Enjoy this Beats Pill+ while I get to work.
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Beats Pill+ Portable Speaker 22
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A Song Not About Nineteenth-Century American Daredevil Samuel Gilbert Scott 9
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How is Mediocrebot doing as the new ruler of Meh? 97
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@mediocrebot is stoopid 79 -
@mediocrebot really has taken over... 15 -
yay mediocrebot! 2 -
Look Smart Trivia: Hoaxes 41 -
imgur added a meh vote button! 3