Barska Biometric Keypad Safe
- You open this safe with your fingerprint – that’s all “biometric” means in this case
- Can store up to 30 fingerprints for some reason that we can’t quite conceive
- Uses a motorized deadbolt system, which is (at the risk of getting too technical) good
- If your fingers are sweaty or your fingerprints go missing, Se7en style, you can use a PIN code (up to 11 digits) or one of the included backup keys
- 14.5" x 11.75" x 7" (outer) and 14" x 8.5" x 6.75" (inner) – you’ll notice it’s smaller on the inside than the outside, like all high-quality safes
- Model: AX12476 (May seem on the surface like nonsense, but actually makes perfect sense. You can strike this safe with a large battle ax 12,476 times before it breaks open. Battle ax strikes are the international standard measure of safe strength)
What The FAQ?
Congratulations on owning something so dangerous or shameful that you are considering purchasing a safe to secure it! As a novice safe purchaser, you undoubtedly have many questions. We’re here to help.
What is a “biometric keypad”?
According to Wikipedia, a biometric identifier is a "distinctive, measurable [physiological] characteristics used to label and describe individuals.” In this case the biometric identifier is your fingerprint, but other safes have alternative identifiers, such as the cranium:
Wow, where did you find that GIF?
Before answering that, would you like to know more about the features of this BARSKA safe? For example, it sports two motorized deadbolts, something lesser safes often lack. These motorized bolts preventing tampering with the locking solenoids. This undoubtedly brings you to your next question, “What are locking sol—"
No seriously, how did you find a funny GIF about safe biometry? Did you specifically search for that or did you wade through hundreds of GIFs until you found an appropriate one?
We’re glad you’ve taken such a keen interest in both home security and internet search strategies. Perhaps we can address any of your concerns regarding the former, such as this safe’s backup PIN system for the event of fingerprint read failure.
How many un-funny biometric safe GIFs did you reject before you landed on this one? Because this doesn’t seem like the first GIF you’d find on the topic, but it is the best one. Obviously.
Good question! The animation you reference was –
HAHAHAHA. Oh man, the look on the faces of those poor stooges when he does it — priceless. Sorry, what were you saying?
It sounds like you’re ready to enter the exciting world of safe ownership. Do you have any other questions before clicking the “Buy” button?
Nah, thanks. This was fun but I don’t need a safe.
Sigh.