Ashen Crossbody Bags by Parinda Handbags
- Bags for baggin’
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- *“Why, it’s Ashen Crossbody, bless his heart!”
- Made out of vegan leather is old Crossbody
Letters from the Mehditor
We hired a freelancer to write the entire Meh-rathon. But out of spite or laziness or or insanity he just wrote letters to random companies and people. Meh regrets the error.
TO: support@michelinman.com
SUBJ: Quick question
To whom it may concern,
I realize you probably get this question a lot but I couldn’t find a reliable answer anywhere online (Quora is useless): Does the Michelin Man have a penis?
I don’t need to know specific details. I’m not sexually attracted to him. Boy, even typing that out makes it seem suspicious. But I just have a morbid curiosity. You name him “man,” specifically. Presumably his manhood is a pretty central part of his identity. It just seems odd then that we don’t see a penis, presumably made of the same durable Michelin rubber comprising all your wonderful tires and the Michelin Man himself. Would it be siped? Studded? Sorry, I know I just said I don’t need specifics and now here I am asking questions.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some sex weirdo. I’m not expecting him to be erect or anything. God, no. That’s the last thing you want to see swaying towards you when you’re trying to pick up a set of reliable all-season tires. Nor do I wish it to be some overly exaggerated, impossible male aspirational fantasy. He doesn’t need to be hung. I’m just wondering why he isn’t anatomically correct.
Or maybe he is and you just can’t see it because of his “spare tire” belly hanging over. Is the Michelin Man a coy jab at the American obesity epidemic? Are we meant to look at him and wonder why can’t we see his penis, then have the terrible realization that we can’t see our own penises either, and immediately embark on a fitness regimen of walking 25 minutes a day minimum? Is the Michelin Man mocking us all?
Seems like you’d sell fewer tires like that.
I keep the chains on year round,
Meh
