As Seen On TV Bundle

  • Model: HR-6, 00349, 102-SLCIP-MC12, TSNAKEMO24
  • Ease the comedown from the holidays with this not-excessively-exciting gift to yourself
  • Includes the Slim Clip, a money clip
  • The Turbo Snake, a drain snake
  • The Hang Rite, a thing that takes the math out of hanging pictures
  • Sliding Robots, which are thick foam furniture pads and not robots in the sense of, you know, being robots
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Christmas Methadone

That holiday high. It’s so good when you’re on top. So, so bad when you hit bottom. Now you’re coming down. Your stash has dried up. Your spring-break supply is months away. All you see before you now is one dark, hollow day after another, dripping on your brain like a melting icicle. Drip. Drip. Drip. You don’t know if you can take it, man.

January is the hardest part. From New Year’s to MLK Day, it’s nothing but bugs crawling on your skin and babies crawling on the ceiling. If you can get through January, you can probably make it. But you need help. Just a little help. Just a little hit.

We’ve got a maintenance dose all lined up and ready for action. This As Seen On TV Bundle is a cocktail of the Slim Clip, a wallet surrogate with the immortal slogan “It Clips On Both Sides!”; the Turbo Snake, a drain snake for people who’ve never heard of drain snakes before; Sliding Robots Furniture Sliders, which ask you to believe that foam furniture pads are somehow “robots”; and the Hang Rite, a kind of t-square designed to help you mark the right spot to hang a picture, a poster, or the mirror you won’t be able to look at yourself in after you buy all this crap.

Yes, it’s all simultaneously boring and ridiculous, “As Seen On TV”. But it doesn’t really matter what the ingredients are. The important thing is that, sometime in early January, you’ll receive a box full of frivolous objects you’d never buy for yourself under normal circumstances. You’ll open the box. You’ll feel a mild jolt of the thrill of opening presents. No, it’s not as strong as the real stuff. No, it’s not as good as the real stuff. It isn’t supposed to be. It’s just a little cushion between you and the withdrawal monster, to take the edge off your post-holiday comedown. Hit us up, bro. We deliver.

So far today...

  • 52891 of you visited.
  • 36% on a phone, 12% on a tablet.
  • 4890 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 884 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $7422 total.
  • (including shipping)

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