Alpine Design Backpacks

  • Your choice of 3 serious-lookin’ backpacks
  • The Midwood is a basic 20L daypack
  • The Midwood Air is larger (30L) and has a framed back and sternum/hip straps
  • The Maple is a 65L overnight pack with lotsa bells and whistles (it literally has a whistle)
  • They all have an ice ax loop, which is pretty badass
  • Model: 252162, 252141, 252163 (You won’t find the backpacks searching with these model numbers, but you will find a tract of land in the Georgia mountains, an enormous house in Alabama, and sick t-shirt)
see more product specs

Run To The Hills

I’m writing this on Monday night, after the Dow dropped 1,175 points. By the time you read this on Wednesday morning, we’ll have a better sense of whether the markets were just jittery, or whether you should buy one of these Alpine Designs backpacks, fill it will food and ammo, and head to the woods to wait out the global financial collapse.

Meh writer @skemmehs here, writing from Hong Kong, where the Hang Seng Index has slid 4%, mirroring the U.S. market. I’m supposed to catch a flight home soon, but I’m tempted to fill my own backpack with dried squid and hunker down in the hills.

We know what you’re thinking — won’t a catastrophic financial breakdown affect shipping? Possibly. That’s why you should buy one of these backpacks immediately, so it can get to you in time. It’s only prudent.

As everybody will tell you, the stock market is not the economy. And as some economist once said, the stock market has predicted 9 of the last 5 recessions. But if the ship keeps sinking at the rate it did on Monday, these backpacks are going to look like a more and more reasonable retirement plan.

To get a read on consumer confidence, check out the sales breakdown at the bottom of the page. If we’re selling more of the small, 20-liter Midwood backpacks, it means y’all are expecting a short economic blip. If we’re selling a bunch of 60-liter Maple backpacks, it means y’all are preparing for a years-long collapse.

If we haven’t sold a single one … gulp.

Of course, stocks may have rebounded on Tuesday, easing fears. So you can afford to buy a nice backpack for your summer vacation. Phew!

So far today...

  • 73529 of you visited.
  • 36% on a phone, 5% on a tablet.
  • 5141 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 1164 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $31254 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?