Random 7-Pack of Piranha Polarized Sunglasses
- Plastic frames, plastic polarized lenses
- You don’t get to choose which 7 styles you get, but they’ll all be different
- Do not wear indoors or people might think you’re crying, or high, or a douchebag
- Seven pairs is just enough for you to get careless about keeping track of your sunglasses until you suddenly realize you can’t find any of them
That's less than two bucks an eye.
Seven pairs of sunglasses. Seven different random pairs! No repeats! And real ones, too, polarized and made by a real brand and everything. You only see these at your really nice truck stops.
What are you gonna do with 'em all? A different pair for each day of the week is the obvious, lazy answer. What about one for each Deadly Sin? You don’t want to wear your Lust sunglasses while you’re committing Gluttony. It wouldn’t be sanitary. We suppose you could wear a pair for each Heavenly Virtue, but these Piranha shades don’t exactly scream Humility or Temperance.
Or, if you’re tired of flailing through life with the sun in your eyes, devote each pair to a Habit of Highly Effective People. Then you can dramatically pull off one pair and put on another, to punctuate your transition from “Think Win-Win” to “Synergize”. Your colleagues and clients might think you’re having a stroke - or it might just add to your Highly Effective mystique. You won’t know until you give us your money (no refunds).
Maybe those stupid ideas don’t do it for you. There’s no limit to the number of seven-based cultural schemas you could apply your shades to. You could outfit your entire Ultimate team. Sacrifice one to each of the Seven Lucky Gods. Wear one whenever you’re saying one of the words you can never say on television. The possibilities are so vast and varied, we just filled a meaningless paragraph with them!
Of course, you’ll probably just keep them as backups for when you lose or break a pair. You know, if you hate fun or something.
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Random 7-Pack of Piranha Polarized Sunglasses 93
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