4-Pack of Foam-Back Blackout Curtain Panels
Our Take
- Serious blackout curtains that really do the job
- Bullshit rides a sunbeam, from space right to your face. Stop letting it do that.
- Tell that sunny idiot to wait outside until you’re ready.
- Available in 63" or 84" lengths
- Model: N1CE-TRY-0RB
Your Take
Midnight is whenever you want it to be
An asteroid streaked across the sky 65 million years ago from a billion miles away. It had the dinosaurs’ name on it and did the job with cold indifference.
The turtle pulled its head in and slept right through just fine.
…
The primates learned to throw sharp sticks and started eating everybody, roasted over fire. Nature became wary and disappeared within itself.
The turtle pulled its head in and slept right through just fine.
…
Sometime later the pointy sticks gave way to boomy ones. The meat piled high and was salted for the winter.
The turtle pulled its head in and slept right through just fine.
…
Steve’s department had a reorg, and now he has two bosses. He counts his time with spreadsheets and goes the extra mile.
But sometimes Steve calls in sick and closes his bomb-ass blackout curtains. He thinks not of spreadsheets and then he sleeps just fine.
…
You can’t be a turtle, because the turtles will not have you. But you can be a Steve for $39.
