The Jackhammer that is going on outside wake you up so you check the time to see what time is it to then find out that you only slept for hour and 50 mins and also see the notification that your stock fell ~15% and continuing to fall while your ac is not working and it nice rage inducing 87°F in your room. With only 3 and half hours left until your swing shift starts with a half hour commute your dog decides that you rolling over on your side to get the little confort you have left in your bed is an invitation for him that your face is an all you can lick buffet.
An empty metal trash can flying/bouncing across an industrial tile floor (sometimes hitting you) at 0430, accompanied by all 80,000,000 lumens of fluorescent lights being turned on simultaneously and someone roaring, “WAKE THE FUCK UP, PRIVATES!” while someone else walks around beating on a second empty metal trash can with a stick.
@Sapper I didn’t see yours before I just posted mine. Your version is so much more descriptive; I feel it, maybe because I was there.
Not to mention mortars going off in the middle of the night in the middle of a shit-hole country
When you’re a night owl and that is just how it is. Waking up to an enthusiastic morning person asking why you can’t fall asleep earlier at night.
Cue our prehistoric ancestors… it’s 6:30 pm… Florflig and his peeps can’t keep their eyes open and retreat to their kerplorps yawning, “We’re out.” Gipidippi and her couple of buddies are like, “ok whatever man. We’re going to finish up this game of teebimibininki and do the dishes.” “Don’t make too much noise, we’re trying to sleep,” says Florflig.
Nighttime is eventful for Gipidippi’s crew, gathering some tasty blopberries and making jam out of them, fending off a sabertooth tiger and a confused big stompy animal, as well as some snakes and what might have been a ufo (but this was before the history channel, so it’s impossible to say….) Anyways, the sleeping inhabitants of the kerplorps have zzzzz’d through it. Morning arrives.
Florfig sticks his giant head into Gipidippi’s kerplorp and yells, “HEY GUYS let’s go get some breakfast at IGPLOP before we go hunting and gathering! What’s the matter, you guys being lazy again??”
Gipidippi: um DUDE.
If you’re a night owl and this happens to you, tell the mother Florfig to get back in his kerplorp and take some time to think about how your ancestors saved his ancestors’ a$$es when they couldn’t stay up all night.
@kerryzero I LOVE this story! That’s so perfect. I’ve been saying for years that night people evolved because someone had to watch out for predators and threats while everyone else was asleep in the cave, but your version is brilliant! Five stars from me too!
@Kyeh YES!!! I’ve tried hard to fit into that box, sleeping pills at night, waking pills in the morning. Bleh. At this point I’ve settled into being a grumpy lady that cusses a lot in the morning, so remote work (blessed to be able to do that during Covid) has been nice for my coworkers