An empty metal trash can flying/bouncing across an industrial tile floor (sometimes hitting you) at 0430, accompanied by all 80,000,000 lumens of fluorescent lights being turned on simultaneously and someone roaring, “WAKE THE FUCK UP, PRIVATES!” while someone else walks around beating on a second empty metal trash can with a stick.
@Sapper I didn’t see yours before I just posted mine. Your version is so much more descriptive; I feel it, maybe because I was there.
Not to mention mortars going off in the middle of the night in the middle of a shit-hole country
@ELJAY, I’ve woken up to one of my renters setting off the security alarm when she left the house.
Four times she’s set off the alarm. One of those times the police were dispatched.
@ELJAY I agree that the SWAT team or “brace for impact” would be worse, but my mind went to the worst way I have actually been woke up, which is the fire alarm.
On multiple occasions, I have been awoken at 3 AM in a hotel room because some jack-ass thought it would be funny to pull the fire alarm and make everyone evacuate.
The Jackhammer that is going on outside wake you up so you check the time to see what time is it to then find out that you only slept for hour and 50 mins and also see the notification that your stock fell ~15% and continuing to fall while your ac is not working and it nice rage inducing 87°F in your room. With only 3 and half hours left until your swing shift starts with a half hour commute your dog decides that you rolling over on your side to get the little confort you have left in your bed is an invitation for him that your face is an all you can lick buffet.
When you’re a night owl and that is just how it is. Waking up to an enthusiastic morning person asking why you can’t fall asleep earlier at night.
Cue our prehistoric ancestors… it’s 6:30 pm… Florflig and his peeps can’t keep their eyes open and retreat to their kerplorps yawning, “We’re out.” Gipidippi and her couple of buddies are like, “ok whatever man. We’re going to finish up this game of teebimibininki and do the dishes.” “Don’t make too much noise, we’re trying to sleep,” says Florflig.
Gipidippi: “”
Nighttime is eventful for Gipidippi’s crew, gathering some tasty blopberries and making jam out of them, fending off a sabertooth tiger and a confused big stompy animal, as well as some snakes and what might have been a ufo (but this was before the history channel, so it’s impossible to say….) Anyways, the sleeping inhabitants of the kerplorps have zzzzz’d through it. Morning arrives.
Florfig sticks his giant head into Gipidippi’s kerplorp and yells, “HEY GUYS let’s go get some breakfast at IGPLOP before we go hunting and gathering! What’s the matter, you guys being lazy again??”
Gipidippi: um DUDE.
…………………………………………
If you’re a night owl and this happens to you, tell the mother Florfig to get back in his kerplorp and take some time to think about how your ancestors saved his ancestors’ a$$es when they couldn’t stay up all night.
@kerryzero I LOVE this story! That’s so perfect. I’ve been saying for years that night people evolved because someone had to watch out for predators and threats while everyone else was asleep in the cave, but your version is brilliant! Five stars from me too!
@kerryzero Yes, but at least there are stories online that say this:
“…owls do have a few advantages. Studies have found them to be smarter, more creative and more consistent in their work than larks.” That’s from the NYT, no less, in story that says most of the disadvantages to being a night owl come from trying to fit into a society that’s geared to larks.
This is pay-walled, unfortunately: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/23/smarter-living/no-night-owls-arent-doomed-to-die-early.html
@Kyeh YES!!! I’ve tried hard to fit into that box, sleeping pills at night, waking pills in the morning. Bleh. At this point I’ve settled into being a grumpy lady that cusses a lot in the morning, so remote work (blessed to be able to do that during Covid) has been nice for my coworkers
Anything when it’s a day I can sleep in.
Birds chirping right outside the window, especially when it’s like 10-20 minutes before the alarm clock is going to go off.
SWAT team
Waking up because your waterbed broke. Then realizing you don’t have a waterbed.
@yakkoTDI I was thinking of something very similar!
Having a dream that an elephant is peeing on your head, then waking up and discovering
Either way, your day is probably not going to be fantastic.
An empty metal trash can flying/bouncing across an industrial tile floor (sometimes hitting you) at 0430, accompanied by all 80,000,000 lumens of fluorescent lights being turned on simultaneously and someone roaring, “WAKE THE FUCK UP, PRIVATES!” while someone else walks around beating on a second empty metal trash can with a stick.
For 6 months straight.
@Sapper I didn’t see yours before I just posted mine. Your version is so much more descriptive; I feel it, maybe because I was there.
Not to mention mortars going off in the middle of the night in the middle of a shit-hole country
@Sapper Thank you.
@accelerator @Sapper Thank you.
While I’d kind of agree with the SWAT team, waking to a fire alarm is a close second…
On second thought, I take that back…
The worst way would be to wake to the voice of the Pilot on the airplane’s PA instructing everyone to Brace For Impact!
@ELJAY, I’ve woken up to one of my renters setting off the security alarm when she left the house.
Four times she’s set off the alarm. One of those times the police were dispatched.
@ELJAY I agree that the SWAT team or “brace for impact” would be worse, but my mind went to the worst way I have actually been woke up, which is the fire alarm.
On multiple occasions, I have been awoken at 3 AM in a hotel room because some jack-ass thought it would be funny to pull the fire alarm and make everyone evacuate.
The sound of a cat barfing
@ironcheftoni cats barfing sounds like someone plunging a toilet
@ironcheftoni @jnicholson0619
Cat peristalsis
Sounds like commode unclogging
That is what it is.
@ironcheftoni Even worse: the sound of a cat barfing on the comforter that you’re sleeping under.
@ahacksaw @ironcheftoni or the cat barfing coming from next to you under the comforter
The Jackhammer that is going on outside wake you up so you check the time to see what time is it to then find out that you only slept for hour and 50 mins and also see the notification that your stock fell ~15% and continuing to fall while your ac is not working and it nice rage inducing 87°F in your room. With only 3 and half hours left until your swing shift starts with a half hour commute your dog decides that you rolling over on your side to get the little confort you have left in your bed is an invitation for him that your face is an all you can lick buffet.
In the morning
Sausage instead of bacon and not crispy enough hash browns. Unacceptable!
Neighbor’s car alarm at an ungodly hour. Incidentally, did you know there is a 3 o’clock… in the morning!
@simplersimon Any relation to the 3 o’clock at night? I come across that time from time to time.
When you’re a night owl and that is just how it is. Waking up to an enthusiastic morning person asking why you can’t fall asleep earlier at night.
Cue our prehistoric ancestors… it’s 6:30 pm… Florflig and his peeps can’t keep their eyes open and retreat to their kerplorps yawning, “We’re out.” Gipidippi and her couple of buddies are like, “ok whatever man. We’re going to finish up this game of teebimibininki and do the dishes.” “Don’t make too much noise, we’re trying to sleep,” says Florflig.
Gipidippi: “”
Nighttime is eventful for Gipidippi’s crew, gathering some tasty blopberries and making jam out of them, fending off a sabertooth tiger and a confused big stompy animal, as well as some snakes and what might have been a ufo (but this was before the history channel, so it’s impossible to say….) Anyways, the sleeping inhabitants of the kerplorps have zzzzz’d through it. Morning arrives.
Florfig sticks his giant head into Gipidippi’s kerplorp and yells, “HEY GUYS let’s go get some breakfast at IGPLOP before we go hunting and gathering! What’s the matter, you guys being lazy again??”
Gipidippi: um DUDE.
…………………………………………
If you’re a night owl and this happens to you, tell the mother Florfig to get back in his kerplorp and take some time to think about how your ancestors saved his ancestors’ a$$es when they couldn’t stay up all night.
@kerryzero
@kerryzero I LOVE this story! That’s so perfect. I’ve been saying for years that night people evolved because someone had to watch out for predators and threats while everyone else was asleep in the cave, but your version is brilliant! Five stars from me too!
@Kyeh it’s so frustrating, right?!?!
@kerryzero Yes, but at least there are stories online that say this:
“…owls do have a few advantages. Studies have found them to be smarter, more creative and more consistent in their work than larks.” That’s from the NYT, no less, in story that says most of the disadvantages to being a night owl come from trying to fit into a society that’s geared to larks.
This is pay-walled, unfortunately:
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/23/smarter-living/no-night-owls-arent-doomed-to-die-early.html
@kerryzero @Kyeh
When you are the lark and the night owl decides to crank up the volume
@Kyeh YES!!! I’ve tried hard to fit into that box, sleeping pills at night, waking pills in the morning. Bleh. At this point I’ve settled into being a grumpy lady that cusses a lot in the morning, so remote work (blessed to be able to do that during Covid) has been nice for my coworkers
@Cerridwyn agree 100%! Be nice if the and respect each other
To this!
Ceiling caving in due to a massive hornet nest, landing on your bed
@TheGreatNico
Throwing up.
Two words: Cat Fight!
two more words: in bed!
A pet heaving, the one that sleeps in the bed with you.
Your boss texting/calling you wondering where you are because you missed the first two meetings of the day.
Cats, cats on your face.
The worst part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.
Dead.
The sound of your pet vomiting
I had a dog who would like my nose until his tongue went up my nostril 1000% woke me up!!
Old cat rapid-fire, full-on-in-the-face liquified snot sneezes
Anything when it’s a day I can sleep in.
Birds chirping right outside the window, especially when it’s like 10-20 minutes before the alarm clock is going to go off.
Kid having a nose bleed or kid peed the bed. No wait, kid vomited in the bed.
A wafting faint aroma of dog shit.
The entire day is going downhill from there.
Lightning striking a tree, 100 feet away from my house.
@Zaprz Yikes Hope everyone was ok!
The phone ringing…
Wet.
@Nate311
Depends…
@2many2no @Nate311
Depends is better
But the question is “the worst”
Depends dries it up
Any way that I wake up on a day that I have to be at work.
@werehatrack
Waking up to a 500 error does not improve the day, just sayin’.
That was not a fart.
Um…waking up?
Just saying.
O dark 30 - Metal Trash Can thrown down the hall between rows of bunks - Boot Camp
feeling the road beneath you, and hearing the words “Did anyone get the license plate number?”
In Carbonite on a bounty hunter’s ship.
@mike808
Wakeful carbonite
Time in the slab’s an instant
Thaw in a bad spot
you mom
@Pinkglasseskid
Please elucidate
Are you telling me I’m mom
Does your grammar suck