Too late It’s over

Gardenia Down Alternative Comforter

In your choice of colors as neutral as Switzerland, and even less offensive
Polyester fiberfill for those whose sinuses ain’t down with the down
A couple inches longer than the last ones we sold, which matters if those are your toes
Stitched into many compartments (even more than those other ones we sold) so the fill doesn’t get all clumpy
Medium-warmth, maybe? Year-round? All-season? Somebody should standardize this
Model: 90210 (wow, the least Google-unique five-digit number possible)

see more product specs

Ignore what your body is telling you.

Right now, just as you do every spring, you’re feeling the effects of the rising temperatures. Your thoughts are turning to the sweaty days and balmy nights ahead. Something is stirring deep within you, reawakening after a long winter’s nap, ready to shed some layers and catch some rays.

Tell that feeling to shut up.

At least long enough to buy a nice cheap comforter. Because right now, even if the nights are a little nippy, you’re not thinking about snuggling under a comfy new blanket. You’re more likely to be shopping for a new Speedo than a new comforter.

Six months from now, with temperatures dropping, is when blanket purveyors make their nut - and they’ll have to, to make up for these lean warmer months. As the ominous breezes of spring start to blow, comforter salesmen are desperate to make a deal, any deal. This is the time you can get a pretty nice comforter for a relative pittance, if you’re smart enough to grab it.

You can’t buy everything off-season. Most food won’t sit around for six months. Clothes might not fit by then. A winter cruise to Alaska would be miserable. But when you can - the ice-cream maker in the dead of winter, the leaf blower in spring, your Christmas decorations in January - that’s where them deals at.

Yeah, we know counter-cyclical shoppping doesn’t come naturally. It’s not easy for us, either. The guy writing this is sitting in his shorts with all the windows open, wishing more houses in Seattle had air conditioning. You think visions of comforter shopping are dancing in his head?

But just because he’s that stupid doesn’t mean you have to be. Put your body’s natural wisdom on mute. Buy this comforter. Stow it away until fall. Then it’ll keep you nice and cozy while you’re shopping online for discount Speedos.

Gardenia Down Alternative Comforter

Ignore what your body is telling you.

So far today...

How’d you get here?

And you bought...

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?