3-Pack: Dr. Cool Chill Sport Cooling Towel

You get three cooling towels.
It claims to provide “chemical-free cooling.”
To use, simply wet it, wring it, snap it (?), then wear it around your neck or wherever else you need a cold touch.
Only remove to wave over your head as Edwin Diaz takes the field to pitch in the 9th.
Model number: DRC-TOALLA, which makes you wonder, with that many letters at their disposal, why not just go with TOWEL?

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Not Cool is Cool

In school, you only wore your backpack on one shoulder. When that shoulder started to feel sore from carrying your entire load of books, you shifted it to the other shoulder. This should’ve been all the proof you need: that the most efficient way to wear a backpack is by using both arm straps. So why didn’t you? Because it didn’t look as cool and nonchalant as the single strap technique.

There are more examples: pocket protectors are nerd-wear, despite serving what is actually a pretty useful function. And for all the work automobile manufactures put into building incredibly efficient engines, for a while it seemed like they couldn’t design a hybrid that didn’t look like some sort of weird robo-ladybug.

Then, of course, there are these Dr. Cool Chill Sport Cooling Towel: a product that will make you feel cool, but cannot make you look cool. Because they’re pretty dorky, right? We can all agree on that?

But that’s just it: the more you look at any of this stuff, the more you start to wonder: why? Why is it that we malign so many useful and efficient things as ‘lame’? Could it possibly be that its utility and efficiency are the very things that make it ‘uncool’? Have we reached a point in our evolution where our aesthetic preferences have grown so strong as to overrule what had been humankind’s guiding principle up to this point–the so-called ‘the survival of the fittest’–and this sharp turn will eventually spell our downfall as the universe’s (heretofore discovered) dominant species?

Whoa. Got a bit deep there.

Let’s tap the brakes on the philosophical discussion and just agree: if you have to towel off after a grueling workout, a towel that cools you down even just a little bit is inherently better than one that doesn’t. And thus, you should use these Dr. Cool Chill Sport Cooling Towels regardless of how ‘dorky’ they seem, not just for your own well-being, but for the good of humanity.

3-Pack: Dr. Cool Chill Sport Cooling Towel

Not Cool is Cool

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