Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon

MR. THOMAS
Roy, you are one of a kind. I swear, this town is a lot cleaner since you’ve arrived and set up shop.

ROY
Mr. Thomas? Are you okay?

MR. THOMAS steps out from behind the counter.

MR. THOMAS
Roy, you are one of a kind. I swear, this town is a lot cleaner since you’ve arrived and set up shop.

ROY
Mr. Thomas?

MR. THOMAS
Roy, you are one of a kind. I swear, this town is a lot cleaner since you’ve arrived and set up shop.

With each repetition MR. THOMAS’S voice grows more and more robotic.

While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)