One of those things

You need a certain amount of shamelessness to use something like this.

But since we’re pretty confident we know our audience here and that “unabashed practicality enthusiasts” are among our most critical customer demographics, we’re going to keep plowing ahead with this one.

It takes the lame, boring, and probably insufficient cupholder in your car and turns it into…

…a slightly better cupholder.

How is it better?

Well, it’s definitely more versatile. If you live someplace where you can still get those giant-sized drinks that were mostly banned via constitutional amendment after that one guy made the documentary about eating McDonald’s three times a day, you’ll find that these expand to hold pretty much anything that you should reasonably be drinking, size-wise.

So that’s something.

It also turns one cupholder into two cupholders, which is occasionally important, especially in a lot of fancier modern cars where manufacturers have somehow decided that having enough spots for everyone’s drink is an unseemly feature for peasants. If you drive a minivan there are probably enough cupholders to let everyone have as much liquid as their bladders can handle, but for some reason, if you buy a luxury car, you’re expected to share two coffees in a vehicle that seats five (or more).

Lame.

So let’s go ahead and obliterate the elegant sophistication of your minimalist drink management and instead hook you up with the kind of ham-handed contraption that it looks like George Jetson would have used to secure his Astro Pop while zipping around in that stupid bubble car thing that probably also didn’t have enough cupholders.

Honestly, if you need it you need it. And you’ve probably spent enough time being annoyed by this issue that grabbing a couple of these is more or less a no-brainer at this point.

It’s versatile. Flexible. Adjustable. Practical.

Basically all the things that our extensive market research has identified as major drivers of purchase decisions for a certain type of buyer.

(That’s you. You’re the buyer.)

Which reminds us…what else have you bought that’s objectively goofy but undeniably handy??