Too late It’s over

2-Pack: Eggtronic Sirius 65-Watt GaN Adapter with 6FT USB-C Cable

A couple little charging blocks that will charge your stuff fast (even laptops)
Also, you get a USB-C cable
You won’t regret buying this
You will only regret not buying this
Are they Mac-compatible: [*2 hours spent trying to think of some way to spin this funny before giving up and just typing:] Yes

see more product specs

To The Wall

Your weird uncle Hal explains why you should buy a two-pack of Eggtronic Sirius 65-Watt GaN Adapters.

So, for starters, your good friend Tim Allen doesn’t include them with the iPhones anymore. That’s enough of a reason on its own.

[Brief pause while you interject: Cook.]

Huh? Cook what?

[Explanation of his mix-up.]

I said Tim Cook.

Anyway, that’s the biggest reason. They don’t come with the phones anymore. I don’t like it but it’s just how it goes these days. Did you know that in a lot of cars now, reclining the seat? That’s a subscription. You pay a monthly fee to lower your own seat. They got different plans, and they’re all angles of how far you can recline and how many times. It’s true. I read it on Facebook.

[Gentle nudge to get back on track.]

Okay, so the other thing is, these things charge stuff pretty fast. Because of the LAN CBS.

[Brief pause while you interject: GaN and USB-C.]

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what I said.

Anyway, I’m telling you, these things? They juice the phone up fast. And full too. Used to be I could never get the battery over 66%. I took my phone to the Genius Bar. Real genius that guy turned out to be. He said he’d take it into the back, and I could pick it up later. Yeah right! I wasn’t going to fall for it. That’s how they put the chip in. Tracks your every move. No, thank you!

Besides, what was I supposed to do while I waited? Walk around the mall? Risk a run-in with that little punk Chris from Auntie Anne’s? I’m sure your mother told you about all that.

So, yeah. They’re great for charging. Then again, maybe that’s not such a good thing, the way kids these days are so addicted to their phones and social media and the whatnot. I saw a great thing on Facebook about it. Here. I’ll send it to you.

Wait, how do I send a Facebook?

[45 minutes pass during which Hal tries to send you a post from Facebook. One attempt includes him yelling angrily into his microphone, “Sira, send screen.” Finally, you just go over and look at it over his shoulder. It shows a post that is itself a photo of a computer screen with a meme on it. At the bottom: 400,000 likes. You can barely read it or understand it.]

Pretty good, huh?

2-Pack: Eggtronic Sirius 65-Watt GaN Adapter with 6FT USB-C Cable

To The Wall

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