Well Reviewed

They’re foam rollers. You roll them under your back, or under your foot, or wherever, and they help stretch all the strained and overworked muscles in there.

How much else could there possibly be to say about them?

Um, apparently, a lot. At least, that’s what we were led to believe when we took a trip over to these things’ Amazon page and found that they have an average rating of 4.6 out of 5 based a whopping 28,865 reviews.

Real quick, though, before we get to a few of the best ones, we just want to make sure to say: yes, these are nearly the same thing we are selling today only with different branding.

Okay, onto the reviews! Let’s start with this DRAMATIC one titled “HEAVEN” from user Sarah Beth:

I’ve only used this once so far, so I can’t comment on how well it holds up. But holy crap!!! I think it’s gotten knots out I’ve had for 10 years. Using it was absolute heaven. I actually HEARD muscle knots popping around, which sounds gross, but feels wonderful.

Wowza! That’s quite the endorsement. (Also, she does provide an update that she’s continued using it and it still works great.)

This one from user Andrew is a bit goofier. It’s titled “Roll roll roll your foam~ gently down the mat…” and begins “Meri~ly Meri~ly Mery~ly meryly my back is like a dream~” before getting into the actual review:

For stretching, massaging and working out any knots of your muscles, this has been a pressure reliever! Never understood the concept of these things until my wife got one at home and its been great. I will roll around the mat with it and work out any back pains or leg cramps. Pink is not my choice of color but if I stretch with my lights dimmed…no one will see me lol. Good stuff

Weird note to end on, but hey, whatever!

Now, Amazon reviews aren’t a competition, but if they were, this downright scientific one from Leilani would be the winner:

Just want to say about the few people posting pictures of the “bruising”- that is not technically a bruise, it is what’s called petechiae. And it’s one of the main reasons I bought this roller. This particular roller does a great job at not only rolling the deeper, taught muscle tissues out but also stimulates and breaks up scar tissue and the myofascia. If you bruise like some of those pictures after only a few minutes of use I would highly recommend having someone gua sha your back because petechiae occurs when there is stagnant blood that can be pushed through the compromised capillary walls and it settles in the capillary bed where it is then reabsorbed by the body and this stimulation of circulation increases the anti-inflammatory, pain-reduction, immune system functions in the body.

That’s a big block to post (though, it isn’t even the whole review), and we don’t totally understand everything Leilani is saying. But it seems pretty important to mention.

So, again, we stand corrected: there is a lot to say about these foam rollers. And the best part? We didn’t have to say any of it ourselves. So thanks, Amazon customers! You’ve really helped us sell these 2-packs of foam rollers today! (For less than you probably paid for one.)